Day 65 of Boot Camp

You all know about Hostess going out of business, right? It's a little strange to hear the good news about people in America SUPPOSEDLY eating healthier. However, I must say, I will miss eating those spongy heart-attack-in-a-wrap Hostess Twinkies. I will never forget the first high cholesterol-filled bite.

If you are wondering, I'm NOT feeling any better. I just... am... feeling a bit sarcastic this evening. I guess, no matter how bummed out I get, I'll always try to be humorous around others. Even though, technically, I'm not AROUND OTHERS while writing my posts yet... you people read them. Or at least skim them. Skimming counts.

Another bipolar day today. No more mail from Mason. I tried sending off a letter today however, I couldn't do it... I'm constantly throwing away letters. I'll write them, feel better that I wrote out my feelings, until tossing it because I don't want Mason to read it and feel more stressed. I mean, he's hardly getting any letters anyways because of the screw-ups in his PLT. If they continue being punished, he'll never get my letters suggesting he should call me or that I want to go to OR first.

The only plus of the day was finishing my math book and getting an A on the last test. I was pretty pumped! I won't lie; I was super proud of myself. I hate math! But I guess, for a change, math began liking me. So, in exchange, I decided to give it a try.

I didn't go on IMVU today! My mother suggested it. I told her how depressed I have been feeling lately and she let me know that IMVU DOES work me up. It's true. The idiots on there really get my pulse pulsating quickly. I thought I would be fine staying on there like I used to! Staying addicted and "having fun" in a different kind of way. I guess I need to slow it down; find another activity. I read over my book that I am thinking about sending to Mason during his time on his main base. I fixed a few things but that's about it for typing anymore of it. My aunt keeps questioning where "her" book is. I keep telling her that I'm out of it nowadays and can barely focus...

So I jump on IMVU and make my days worse...

Besides the point... Since we're on the subject of reading, I'll have you know that I tried reading over my blog - from the first post every posted to the latest post I have posted. That didn't work out so splendidly. The sorrow in those first couple of posts are strong... I kind of don't want to relive that right now. I need to take it easy. Seriously! I'm stressing over college, I'm stressing over Mason, I'm stressing over my future... God, it's horrible... I'm glad I got the Shingles done and over with. I'd be having them right about NOW.

Tomorrow I have no math. I have Italian, but my math teacher is taking a day off this week. Good for her. She deserves it. :)

And because it is Wednesday tomorrow, I hope mom will be able to answer the home phone while I'm at school. Even if I miss talking with Mason, at least we'll have our plans all figured out and ready to go. It would be a blessing though to hear his voice. I wonder if it got deeper? Will he start tearing up once hearing my voice? Will I start tearing up once hearing HIS? God I miss him...

Bleh... This is the worst year ever so far...

I need some definite help :(

WE, Mason and I, need some definite help.

Maybe I should start praying again.

Pheasant, Italy

This pheasant is proudly calling to mark its territory spotted with poppies, and seems to like to wear one of them as a mask—the right face at the right place for the right shot.