Todays morning traffic wasn't as bad as yesterdays; I was able to get from lane to lane. When I was at school, I noticed a strange feller exiting out of his van. Did he live in it? I'm not sure. But I guess this guy thought it was necessary to hold mouth wash behind his driver-side seat. He cleaned his mouth, sang some lyrics, and went on his way. It was difficult NOT to watch...
During math, I copied a few notes from Chapter 1. I SHOULD photocopy them however, I feel as if I write them down, they'll be recorded nicely in my memory compartment! If I'm still writing notes passed this week, THEN I'll think about using the photocopier.
In Italian, a young man named Omar walked up to me, expressing how lovely my presentation was yesterday. He's Colombian; from Columbia. Looks to be around his almost-30's. Nice guy. I think I'm making another friendship? We talked for a little while until he sat in his seat. It was neat :)
But what ISN'T neat is dealing with the high school students in that class. There's Jodi, Dorrien, Ray and... I believe that is it. Dorrien's okay, I suppose, Jodi seems like a nervous wreck waiting to happen, yet Ray is a BIT of a punk. While one of the presenters was presenting, she began cracking her knuckles. Our teacher FLIPPED out and said, "Please! Don't do that!" Everyone laughed, as she did too, but RAY decided to be "funny" also and crack HIS knuckles.
Once a punk, ALWAYS a punk.
He's a grammar Nazi too. If you say something that isn't properly used, he'll correct you in a snap. It's obnoxious...
After school was the best portion of the day. I went to get a facial and some relaxing time with my mom's friend, Daniele. She's a sweet lady; about the same age as mom. She's highly spiritual and MAGICAL. I swear. She's got some potency up her sleeves!
I'm glad she gave my body a nice, soothing massage. It needed it. I needed it! MY BRAIN NEEDED IT! Shoot, as I drove passed Lincoln Park (she lives right across from it), I began tearing up. It was hard not to cry!! I missed going there every other weekend with Mason. Now that Mason is gone, I thought I shouldn't be visiting it since I would be alone and I might conjure up some memories which would make me tear up even more.
Yet, like I said before, Daniele and her magical potency produced some stuff in which allowed me to let go of some things; mostly from my past. I cried. I felt like a total pussy! I kept saying, "I'm sorry." but I really didn't have anything to be sorry about. I thought I was sorry for crying in front of her; as if I needed to be tough around her or something.
She told me, "Don't you wish there was another way of saying Sorry? Sorry is so over-used and vague for it's meaning. And not all the time do we need to be sorry!"
It's true. Sorry is vague! I want another word to use. Or a phrase. Or... something! I say sorry for everything... I say "I'm sorry" when somebody tells me they're having a bad day!! I suck up everyone's feelings and make them mine. I would believe that, by doing so, it would make THEM feel better. Nevertheless, it's the total opposite.
That's another thing we did today; released, or, "returned to sender" the feelings that weren't even mine. It had me let go, I felt a bit lighter each time; it was nice.
You know the saying I used in the beginning of this post? Daniele told me that saying. It opens up the universe and your mind to give you the opportunity in enveloping positive things. Even when you had a crappy occurance one day, you can say, "How can things get better than this?" or "What else is possible?" It sounds bizzare, I know, but it works. You can even say it when you're having a GREAT day! Just allows the universe to gift you with more positive outcomes.
And about the feelings that aren't yours? Well, before you accept a negative feeling, first ask yourself, "Is this feeling my own or someone/something elses?" and "Whom does it belong to?" If it does belong to somebody/something else, you say, "Return to Sender" multiple times. It'll help you get that unwanted monkey off of your back.
It was awesome to see Daniele again. She does wonders. <3
After the appointment, I thought about going home. Then, I looked across the street and saw Lincoln Park. I pondered, and pondered, and pondered some more until I made up my mind!!
That park longed for me. I longed for it. It needed my presence there. I needed its presence back. I figured, "Well, I'm relaxed now. I got stuff off of my chest; I think I'm able to go." and I did. Barely anyone was there. It was beautiful.
I thought up a few sayings Mason and I would probably say to one another while crossing this area in the woods or walking down this path that would head into a familiar direction. Other moments, I would "talk to Mason" through my mind. I'd say, "Remember this place, Mason?" "Remember when we did this here, Mason?" "I missed it here, Mason." "God, I love it here, Mason. I wish you were with me. Hopefully you can feel this vibe right now."
I wrote a simple poem about my experience there today:
“It’s Been a While”
It has been a while since I’ve
walked down Your curvy paths,
Since I’ve sat on Your worn
benches,
Since I’ve thrown Your sandy rocks.
It has been a while since I’ve
seen Your washing waves,
Since I’ve seen Your swaying
brush,
Since I’ve seen Your daunting
trees.
It has been a while since I’ve
explored Your trails,
Since I’ve played with Your
twigs,
Since I’ve danced in Your secret
places.
It has been a while since I’ve
ran through Your sand,
Since I’ve lied in Your grass,
Since I’ve acknowledged Your
visitors.
It has been a while since I’ve
parked in Your lots,
Since I’ve struggled up Your
hills,
Since I’ve breathed in Your air.
It has been a while since I’ve
shivered from Your breezes,
Since I’ve gazed at Your sunsets,
Since I’ve photographed Your best
“sides”.
It has been a while since I’ve
shared Your joy with others,
Since I’ve admired Your beauty,
Since I’ve been inspired by Your
tranquility.
It has been a while since I’ve glimpsed at Your sailing ferries,
Since I’ve heard blissful laughter from Your toys,
Since I’ve watched Your fields
being used for ballgames.
It has been a while since I’ve
made memories There,
Since I’ve been able to care,
Since I’ve been able to bare,
Once again.
Though my tangible shadow is unavailable,
I shall not leave You either,
I shall be with You – be with me.
He’ll be home, You best believe
it,
We’ll visit You like we did
before,
It’ll be like I never left You – never
left me.
It has been a while since You’ve
made me happy,
Made me smile,
Made me giggle.
It has been a while,
And all the while – I have missed
You.
No comments:
Post a Comment