Day 40 of Florida

HAPPY EASTER!!!! Did the Easter bunny come visit your house today???? :)

Mom, dad, and I walked to my grandparent's house for an Easter family gathering. This morning, my folks went to church with their running group buddy and I'm happy to say... I wasn't dragged along. My dad was FORCING me to go, yet when 7:45 AM rolled around and I had to wake myself up to take a pee, mom told me I didn't have to join them.

Hallelujah!

The weather was MARVELLOUS! Before the parents and I even walked through the front door, the family had hidden the eggs for my younger cousins, Jaylee and Brendan, to search for them. But! They didn't want to start until we were there! So! Once outside with everybody else, we gave them a thumbs up that they were O.K. to begin their scavenge!

It was fun to give Jaylee and Brendan hints as they walked about the back yard, endlessly peaking in bushes or up in tree branches! I remember doing Easter egg hunts when I was younger; their age. I never could find the Golden Egg.

For those of you who never had an Easter egg hunt with a Golden Egg, the Golden Egg held money inside of it. Usually, I couple bucks! I believe I stopped Easter egg hunting when I turned 13. Felt like the game was a tad unnecessary... Especially since I couldn't find the Golden Egg.

Boy, would I get jealous over whomever found that Golden Egg. I don't think I talked to them through the entire day! Haha!

I stayed in the sun the whole time we were hanging out. I got burned a little on my arms. That's okay. Not as bad as this one time when Mason and I went to Lincoln Park. I was a frickin' LOBSTER!! I passed out, too, once I was home. Hardly had any water. It was scary... My legs and arms swelled up the next day. I couldn't walk. It felt like I had wrapped water bags around my ankles.

The day my limbs became bloated, Mason ran all the way to my house (a 30 minute walk), while it was RAINING, just to say Goodbye and check to see if I were doing fine. He was heading to Oregon for a month. It was the first time we cuddled in my bed. Such a privilege! Hehe. :)

Tomorrow, I start school... Am I excited? Kind of! I get to learn about the Solar System finally! I've always been a curious person about Space and planets - stuff like that. I think it's WAY cool.

Anybody else believe that there is life beyond ours out in the middle of some galaxy???

Kykuit Gardens, New York

To know Kykuit, said William Welles Bosworth, who designed its gardens, “one must experience  … late evening when all is peacefully eloquent."

Day 39 of Florida

Shout out to Jenni who became my first Follower today!!

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, JENNI?! 7 MONTHS LATER!! SHEESH!!

;)

I'm only joking. <3

If you haven't read my previous posts, Jenni, I'm a real goober. I can either get terribly sarcastic, or, terribly depressing. I'm a bit impulsive. I hope you don't mind that at all!

Now, on with my day...

I guess I'll start with the fact that I did NOTHING today. I did take a peaceful walk this afternoon. In the evening time, mom and I went to Costco for snack shopping.

However... each time we go to Costco... we AT LEAST have to spend $500... At least... Just... only $500... To the minimum...

You get my point.

But, as I was saying... I have come to a conclusion why I don't deal with civilization...

Because people are INCREDIBLY rude!!

Mom and I were trying to take a left into an isle. Of course, there was a PARADE of people in the way since Costco is always packed. Behind us, folks waited patiently for us to go on...

Or, so we THOUGHT.

A lady muttered, "Finally, these dumb people taking a left MOVED" after we made our way passed the crowd.

At first, I didn't quite comprehend the last bit of what she mumbled. I didn't think she was talking about US! Why would she be??? Until the woman walked away and we were down the isle, mom said, "Oh my God, lady. Don't even start with me right now." I asked what was wrong. Mom told me what the lady had scoffed.

I immediately got furious...

My weakening heart can't take much these days. Anything negative puts a strain on it.

...

After being pissed off, I rapidly became sorrowful. I wanted to go home, hide under my blankets, and sulk over how ruthless the world is. I don't socialize with the "outside world." I feel like it doesn't accept me. Why do you think I am on internet chat sites, chatting it up with strangers??? Because they can't judge me so easily... I feel safe over the web. If someone angers me, I can simply make them disappear. If I get sad, I have somebody to vent to without paying $900. I can also relate to people; they like chat sites, SO DO I! They like to dress their avatar up like an animal, SAME HERE! But in real life... I'm sort of a closed book.

Anyway... Mason and I are fine. Last night, we watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind while hanging out on IMVU together. It was frustration to try and sync up our stream. Luckily, we had no lagging difficulties. Went smoothly. He said it was a good movie! I'm glad. Our movie tastes are diverse. I feel highly accomplished when he likes something that I like.

...

-Sigh- This whole being-a-Marine-girlfriend thing is a heavy weight on my shoulders... On my heart, even. Jenni, I'm sure you can agree... you almost want to give up. You can't take it any longer. But something still strives - pushes you further - keeps telling you to put your foot in front of the other. Each time things get rough, I remember the time when my grandpa and dad made fun of the women who are married or dating a Marine... They chuckled as if the duty wasn't as strenuous as being an actual soldier, fighting for our country. I say the duty of being a girlfriend or wife with an American soldier, no matter what branch it may be, is just as honorable and perplexing as being an American soldier. We're fighting to survive, just like them. They want to be home as much as we want them to be home. We love them as much as they love us.

People might think being with a soldier is the coolest thing. I won't disagree with them... But being a soldier's partner is no walk in the park.

Mammoth Tusk Hunter, Siberia

Siberian hunter Slava Dolbaev uses a spear to dig out a corkscrewed mammoth tusk from a coastal ice cliff. Prying loose a single tusk can take hours, even days. Tusk hunters often leave colored beads or silver jewelry as offerings to local spirits.

Day 38 of Florida

FINALLY! We're getting some well-needed warm weather!!

The only time I enjoyed it was during a 30 minute walk. Hahaha. But please!! Let the sun continue shinning!

Today was beautiful nonetheless, however, Netflix had an important day! Every couple of hours I was watching a movie - thanks to suggestions on IMDb.com. I'm skimming through 900+ movies. Sadly, Netflix will only issue a few... I guess movies and TV shows have to be a certain age until being placed on the system. Or... they are special and... people want to see it.

The movie I truly want to see before I die is "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest." Everybody that I know, whom told me this, claim it is a CLASSIC. Not only because of how old it is, but because of Jack Nicholson's performance. People say it is one of his GREATEST performances. I, personally, think The Shinning was his greatest... Yet I haven't seen One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. I'm tempted to rent it for $3.99 on Amazon.

My folks are in their room watching The Walking Dead. I'm waiting for Mason to log into IMVU so we could watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

That movie...

I LOVE Jim Carrey!! He is SUCH a good actor. I can't picture him doing serious-like roles. But when he proves me wrong, I'm appalled. A man who can't be topped in humor can also be just as serious as the rest. Outstanding movie. Please watch it if you haven't already. And yes, it's on Netflix.

Day 37 of Florida

I can't get my cat Fluffy inside tonight... He's being a picky bastard... So I have the girl cats locked in the backroom while Fluffy's brother, Cheetah, is locked in the computer room. Why? Let's just say my dad is simple minded and can't keep track of 2+ cats... More like 1, but... I'll cut him some slack.

Every 30 minutes, I'll try and call Fluffy in. If he isn't in by 11:30 (the time in which dad and I will be picking up my mom from the airport), then he can stay outside for the night. It will cause me a great deal of anxiety, but it wouldn't be the first time.

Today was mellow. Again, boring. Nothing eventful. Same crud, different day.

Did I mention Mason became a PFC (Private First Class) yesterday?????

I almost don't want to check my last post to see if I did or not... I might feel bad...

That's of HUGE importance! He got PROMOTED and his own GIRLFRIEND doesn't spread the news... She was too busy talking about how unimportant her day was... Disgraceful!

I apologize honey... Ooh-rah.

CONGRATS TO THE ONE AND ONLY!!!!! Shockingly, I knew what Mason meant when he sent me the text, saying, "I'm a PFC!" I asked, "Private First Class?" He replied, "Yea :D."

Good job, brain. Good job.

AND GOOD JOB TO MASON!!!! <3

Three Sisters Springs, Florida

 

Kayaks crowd Three Sisters Springs, where people and manatees maintain a controversial coexistence. To reach the warm water they need to survive winter, manatees often must run a gantlet of kayakers and snorkelers eager to interact with the marine mammals.

Day 36 of Florida

Well, I think I have Insomnia... Or, I need to quit watching scary videos before bedtime. Either way, I stayed up until 4 AM last night. For some reason, my brain could NOT shut-up. Then, came in the paranoia of being the only one awake in my spooky house during the night. My home tends to squeak and creak... I hate hearing those noises.

But, whenever I feel lonely and I don't want to watch Netflix, I turn on HSN. No commercials, just people chatting about products 24/7. However... that channel can get dangerous... For my parents' money, I mean. HSN was selling some nice jewelry pieces for CHEAP. Cheap and Free are my favorite words. Sadly, mom's on a business trip so I couldn't snatch the Credit Card and use it.

Like I'd ever do that without permission... Unless, I'd want to get grounded.

Today was easy-going. I watched Dirty Job episodes, texted my honey, and played on IMVU.

Monday is when I start my next quarter classes. Am I ready? Not really... I was getting comfortable with this lazy status. Yet, I suppose becoming bored quicker, when less active, is a problem. Especially in my books.

Yea... It's time to get a move on.

Ghadames, Libya

 

Tight clusters of traditional mud-brick-and-palm houses have stood for centuries in Ghadames, a pre-Roman oasis town in the Sahara. Rooftop walkways allowed women to move freely, concealed from men’s view.

Day 35 of Florida

I found the answer - the answer to solve the problem Mason and I have struggled with for the past couple of weeks.

Mason advised me the reason why I put him under pressure: because I beat myself up mentally (over constant mistakes). Not only do I get depressed, but so does he. He HATES it when I push myself to the ground when I do a small mishap that does little damage. Nevertheless, I think every mistake I make is tragic and can harm anything OR anyone, somehow.

I guess it is time to quit the habit. I always believed I was pressuring Mason by my lack of support. I've just been negative and sad and angry from us being apart... When in reality, it's because of ME tearing MYSELF up - not so much ME tearing Mason up.

In a way, I'm happy it's because of my conscience judgement to myself instead of my negativity towards Mason. Each time I'd get him upset, I would think, "Oh God... I hurt his feelings... I need to punish myself for this..." and I'll eat away at my self esteem. Now, I have learned that my decisions on how to take care of myself are WRONG, I'll change. For the better. For Mason. And for myself, too, I suppose.

Today was fine. Played more Tomb Raider.

I don't know when I'll go to sleep tonight... I can't sleep anymore... I'm not positive if I'm dreaming still. If so, they GOT to be what wakes me up.

I have HSN on right now. Lately, my house has been too quiet. I need something playing; like a TV show or a movie. Music doesn't work as well as the TV. Maybe the sound of people talking soothes me? Since... I am lonely? Either reason, I'm calm, which is good.

Let's see if I can stay up until Mason wakes up. He gets up about 4:30 AM my time. I'm going to surprise him with a, "Good morning, honey!" after his good morning text. :P

Kyrgyz Girls, Afghanistan

 
After a hailstorm, nomadic Kyrgyz girls venture outside their mud hut beside the Aksu River in a remote part of Afghanistan. The nomads sometimes stop here for a few weeks between migratory seasons if grass for their herds is too scarce at the summer or winter camps.

Day 34 of Florida

Have you ever felt trapped because you weren't sure on what to say or what to do since you believed whatever you do or say is wrong? I've been there... I've been there multiple times. I'm there right now!

I don't know what to talk about to Mason. I'm in such a depressed state, everything coming out of my mouth is negative. Not only am I unintentionally taking it out on him, but also on my IMVU friends. If one of my friends has no common sense, I'll correct him/her. If Mason said something I don't like, I'll tell him. However, usually the stuff that comes out of HIS mouth is silly and playful. I'm not like that anymore. At least, nowadays, my happiness has dimmed and is only shown during rare occasions. I'm jealous of Mason... I know he isn't doing so well currently, but he can still act goofy when he wants to.

I haven't TRAINED my mind to pass up the negatives and enter into the positives. I have plenty positive thoughts which could lift my spirits. Yet with depression, the symptom holds back that desire and claims, "No. You're supposed to be sad." So, I get sad. And I stay sad until something happens that my brain accepts as "good."

I'm pretty sure you ready have heard this speech a million times in my past posts. Honestly, I don't know what else to say... I'm a little lost these days... Confused... Obviously, I didn't do diddly-squat today.

I wish I were hiking. Hiking helps me out. Anything away from my home-life stables me. My parents aren't being rambunctious, I ignore my cell phone... It is just me and Earth.

Call me a hippy, but the wilderness does cure an aching heart. How?? Possibly from the immense beauty surrounding you? Makes you appreciate the planet you live on.

Around the end of April, I'll be hiking again with my uncle and Jill. If they scheduled a hike sooner, count me in! I am READY. TO. GO!

Eurasian Otter, England

 

A female Eurasian otter searches for prey in a river in western England. An otter's eyes become more convex underwater, the better to see fish.

Day 33 of Florida

Hey!! I actually did something today! If you read my previous post, you'd know that I went hiking today.

I got ready to go around 8 in the morning until having my uncle pick me up in his big red truck. There was Jill, Jaylee and Waffles; the Chihuahua!! We went up this Mountain called Little Si Mt. There's the regular Mt. Si and the Little Mt. Si. Little Mt. Si was a TREK! I can't wait to do Mt. Si. 32,000 feet going up and down; that's how giant Mt. Si is.

Jill had a bummed out knee. So, instead of waiting, Jaylee and I hiked to the summit. The hike took us about 4 hours - 2 hours up, 2 hours back. It was a GORGEOUS day!! But chilly. I wore a LOT of layers. I know what mountain air feels like... And it doesn't feel like a day at the beach.

I've been deprived of hiking! Since my uncle is going to Alaska this August, he wants to get in a few more hikes so he can be prepared. He's going to Alaska for hunting season. He doesn't need any practice on his hunting skills. He's been hunting since I was a young girl! Him and my grandpa.

After the long "walk," we went to eat at a local diner called North Bend Bar & Grill. Not only did I recognize my mom's old high school friend, but the food was DELICIOUS!!!!

... I know the friend has nothing to do with food... Yet, still. I was amazed I even recognized her. I didn't walk up to her though. She probably wouldn't remember me. We've only met once while my mom and I were shopping at Staples a year ago.

Anyway, ABOUT THE FOOD... I stuffed myself with a pound of butter-soaked clams with a side of onion rings and ranch dip. MAN was that food good... I know where to go NOW whenever Mason and I begin doing hikes ourselves!!!

By the way, Mason and I are doing better. We just had a couple things to get off of our chest. And, being adults, we talked it out with one another instead of going off and complaining to someone else about it.

Right now, I'm playing the new TOMB RAIDER game that Mason had purchased me. It... is... INTENSE!!! My WORD do I LOVE IT!!!! Lara is sooooo badass for a 21 year old girl in the middle of the wilderness!!! She's BEAUTIFUL!! Such realism!!! I love graphics... They can turn a pixelated hero into a fantasy within 40 years. Superb.

Okay!! Got to go fight off more bad guys!! I'll see you tomorrow, though. :) Take care.

Day 32 of Florida

HAPPY 48TH BIRTHDAY TO MY MOTHERRR!!!

The family gathered at our house after 5 o'clock. We had a GREAT time. The sun was out, everybody was happy to see each other; it was fun. But before 5 o'clock rolled around, a man on his bicycle pedaled up to our house. I was in the back room at the time, yet I heard mom screaming, "Surprise!" in her overly-joyful tone of voice. Curious, I went into the front room to find a man, who looked similar to Harrison Ford, standing at the counter, chatting with my mom who was washing the dishes. He seemed familiar to me, but I couldn't figure out who he was. Mom asked, "Do you remember him?" I glanced at the older gentlemen and claimed, "He looks familiar." Mom said, "LOOKS FAMILIAR???? This is Rick! Aunt Reen's brother-in-law!"

Shocked, I go, "Oh!" and walk up to him with a large grin on my face, giving him a handshake and a hug. I haven't seen Rick since I was a toddler. He lives on the ocean; owns a sail boat and travels across the world. He came all the way from Fiji to wish my mom a Happy Birthday. How cool is that???

He only stayed for about 15 minutes until getting on his bicycle and riding to my cousin Brian's house.

During the party, for approximately an hour, cops were driving around our neighborhood and stopping in front of our house to chat with my uncle and aunt. They were outside soaking up the sun while everyone else stayed inside to keep warm. We soon went outside to ask what was going on. My uncle said that the cops were out looking for a couple of kids in their twenties whom were wearing a black hoody and a grey hoody and carrying Louis Vuitton bags. The robbers had broken into a nearby house. My grandpa said he saw two people whom were wearing the same exact clothing walking South as he was driving to our house. My uncle got discouraged because he had told the cop, who stopped to talk to them, that they had no idea where these robbers were.

Minutes later, the same cop (I'm guessing) comes by again to stop and talk to us some more. Grandpa told the guy where he had seen the robbers. The cop zoomed off, thanking us, and as we waited, other cops were coming around to see what we had to say. After the cop cars, came the dogs. We all went inside to let the German Shepard sniff about to catch the scent. My family and I clumped at the window, watching the dog and his owners search up the street.

It was crazy. Kind of an adrenaline rush. Once it was over though, grandpa and I went back outside to talk and to get sunshine before it went away.

My uncle and I made an arrangement that tomorrow we'll be hiking. He wants to try out his new hunting gear. I overheard him stating that he was going to hike up Mt. Si and I thought, "Hey, I haven't hiked in a while. Maybe I should ask?" So I did and... I'm getting up at 7 in the morning to pack! My cousin Jaylee is coming with.

I'm in need of  some fresh air. I'm not doing so well anymore. I'm... I'm slowly losing it as well as Mason... I have no idea what to do about it... I don't want to vent to him because I know I'll cause more strain... I should call my therapist... Things are feeling critical.

Novice Shaman, Mongolia

 

A novice shaman makes an offering of milk to the spirits at her initiation outside the Mongolian capital of Ulaanbaatar.

Day 31 of Florida

Have any of your dreams come true?

Have any of your DAYdreams come true?

Maybe something happened in reality that played a part in one of your dreams or "visions."

Last night I had a nightmare (go figure) until developing a short dream about my grandparents entering my bedroom, pointing out of my window, and saying it was snowing outside. Of course, I didn't have the energy to get up and check, so I simply answered, "That's cool" and fell asleep.

When I woke up (in real life this time), I checked my phone to see my mom had sent me a text, around 8 AM, telling me to wake up because it was snowing. I freaked! I just dreamt about my grandparents claiming that it was snowing!! How bizarre!

I told mom about my dream and she said that grandpa called, saying it was snowing (over the answering machine), and my half-awake/half-asleep brain must have picked up his voice stating that, letting me conjure up an image in my dream of him WITH grandma telling me, in my bedroom, that it was snowing outside.

The brain is so magnificent, don't you think?

The folks and I hit up the market today. We went to Sosio's, a wonderful produce section in Pike Place, before traveling around, buying other miscellaneous items. I had a good time... Other than the fact of dealing with my ridiculous parents, I was fine.

The museum was fun. We went to the EMP museum to check out the video game history. That was COOL. Though it was a short gallery, I took tons of pictures and sent some to Mason.

Did you know HALO was on ATARI? I had no clue until today.

Since the EMP had multiple exibits, the folks and I checked out a horror movie section. It was called, "Can't Look Away!" or something like that. They had really old thriller movie props and inside-looks at how the horror film was made. The place was small, just like the video game exibit, but again, it was fun. I also took tons of pictures in there. My favorite movie prop was the Aliens alien. Mom and I discovered new details on the creature like how the alien had human-looking feet with toenails. You don't get to see that in the movies! Unless you track the alien's every movement and focus on that specific detail.

We got home around 6ish. We didn't have a dinner; only munched on what we bought at Sosio's and stuff from the other stores.

Thankfully, I had a long day. Instead of worrying about if Mason was going to text me or not, I worried about if my parents were going to embarrass me or not.

Nah, I'm jokin'. I worried over nothing.

But my parents did embarrass me a few times...

Oh well. I'm home now, away from the public. I don't feel like the adult anymore, taking care of a bunch of children.

Emperor Penguin Colony, Antarctica

 

 

Life is safer at the colony, where predators are few and company is close.

Day 30 of Florida

Ignore the view counter. It looks like I'm, all of a sudden, getting tons of readers. Instead, that's just me. I'm reading over my blog for entertainment. Yes, that is how bored I am.

Well, today I started birth control. I took my pill at 7 PM. That will be my designated time for now on.

The entire day I watched Longplays on YouTube; particularly "Tomb Raider II." I adore Tomb Raider... I always have. I always wanted to be Lara Croft. My dad and uncle used to play the first Tomb Raider nonstop until they couldn't pass a level. I don't think they ever beat the game. Pity. At least there is YouTube. I watched how it ends.

Mason bought me the latest Tomb Raider for the PS3 a couple days ago. I might start playing it tomorrow. IF I can get myself motivated enough. As you can tell, all I want to do nowadays is sit on my butt and pretty much do nothing. I kind of enjoy it. Yet on the other hand, it gets lonely and sometimes boring.

I'm very lonely right now. Mason and I have really not a lot to say anymore. We don't have anything SPECTACULAR happening other than learning new things and meeting new people. Tomorrow will be different. The parents and I are going to Pike Place. Mom said that she didn't want us using our phones. Pfft, of course I'm going to text MASON! ... When we have something to say to one another.

This long distance stuff sucks... I'm glad I ended the Internet dating phase a long time ago. I would have become a cat lady or... fat. However, I can't tell which is worse; dating online but dealing with your loved one far away, or dating in real life and dealing with your loved one far away.

...

I'm going to guess the real life dating one. Because real life dating, you have REAL LIFE affections. You aren't using imagination to satisfy yourself. You actually get physical contact. And then OUT OF THE BLUE... they're GONE. It's as if you guys are now dating ONLINE because, in order to stay in contact, you have to use technology.

Scientists have proven that communication through technology can make a person depressed. I already have depression and with the added stress of depending on my phone or computer to talk with Mason, my depression AND anxiety got worse. That's why I want birth control to cease the pain. Or, at least calm it.

I've been thinking about turning off my phone... I think I was less stressed when Mason and I weren't talking to each other. Of course, I was lonely and WANTED to talk with Mason, but I wasn't getting angry at him for not texting me or wanting to Skype every day, etc. Shoot, I can't be angry at him over those small details. I don't ask him to Skype with me every day! I don't text him 24/7!!

-Sigh- See what I mean??? This life of mine... I didn't want to live a life like this. I'm a laid back person. I like things going MY way. I've always been that type of person who wanted things being handed to her... I've always been that type of person who would try to find the easy route out of stuff. And now I have someone who I love to death being the type of person I've always wanted to avoid... A soldier.

It was my biggest fear. My biggest dread. I knew I wouldn't be happy if I dated someone in the military. I knew I would be who I am right this second; feeling sad, having nightmares that wake me up in the middle of the night, feeling alone though I'm not.

I don't know what to do. I love Mason. He's my world. And yet, he's the thing I never even wanted to try and date... Because I'd be alone. And I'd feel sick each day out of worriment for his safety.

You know that feeling where you want to cry your eyes out, but you almost can't? Like... something is stopping that from happening?? That feeling is with me all the time. I want to cry so bad... but I won't...

All I can do is wait.

Kyrgyz Yurt, Afghanistan

Blanket-draped yaks hunker down outside a young Kyrgyz couple's yurt on the eve of a summer trading journey. Made of interlaced poles covered with felt, these portable homes are packed up and reassembled for seasonal migration. Wooden doors are imported to the treeless plateau from lower altitudes.

Day 29 of Florida

Mason and I are back to Square 1. And what I mean by Square 1 is - we're acting as though our relationship is super new again. We're starting to say Sorry a hundred times over silly things, we're bickering and sucking up each other's emotions... We're a mess. Honestly, we're drained. We're at our last stand. Just a couple minutes ago, I was telling Mason some "regulations" on how we can pull ourselves together.

I remembered a day in my Social Studies class, during Senior year, when the teacher depicted three separate diagrams. We were on the subject of relationships and self esteem. We were taught how a healthy relationship looks like and how a bad relationship looks like. We also learned key elements on knowing whether the relationship is good, or not so good.

The first diagram looked like this: /\

The teacher explained that THIS diagram showed an unhealthy relationship. The diagram "told a story" about a relationship that had two persons with low self esteem. Therefore, they leaned onto one another for support. Yet there is no support, sort of speak. In the end, the relationship fell apart. The two persons weren't able to keep themselves stable long enough.

The second diagram looked like this: |\

THIS diagram explained a not-so-bad relationship. But the relationship still isn't a healthy one. One partner has decent self esteem while the other partner has low self esteem. The partner with higher self esteem has to support the low self esteem partner or else she/he would fall down. With the low self esteem partner depending on the higher self esteem partner for support, the higher self esteem partner will become stressed and soon... things fall apart.

The last diagram looked like this: |=|

THIS diagram showed a healthy relationship. The two persons have either high self esteem or not-to-shabby self esteem. Either way, they aren't leaning against each other for support. What is keeping them supported are those two lines. Those lines represent positivity or good vibes that keep the couple connected and well-balanced. They don't NEED each other for support, however, they do need each other. Get it?

A key element we learned was a phrase that could mean two completely different things if switched around. The first phrase said, "I need you because I love you." When flipped, it said, "I love you because I need you."

Which one sounds like the relationship is a perfect match? The first phrase? Or the second phrase? OR... do they mean the same thing?

They definitely don't mean the same thing. Phrase (1) means: "I love you more than life itself. And because of that, I need you." Phrase (2) means: " 'I love you' because, without your support, I'm nothing."

Phrase (1) claims a good relationship status. Phrase (2) claims a leaning-on-each-other relationship status, a.k.a: a bad relationship status.

Based on the diagrams, nowadays, Mason and I can be either "/\" or "|\" with me being the one leaning on Mason. Lately, he has been telling me how he is wiped out. And with me depressed and sometimes ranting AT him for little things, he breaks down even more. How does that make me feel? Terrible. I beat myself up until I cry. I can't handle hurting other people's feelings. Some days, I can't live with myself.

Hence, tomorrow evening, I'll be starting birth control. In a month, I'll be seeing results. Meanwhile, Mason and I have to hang in there a bit longer.

Today was nonchalant. Got angry on IMVU before watching Longplays on YouTube.

I think most of the people, who play IMVU, are brainless. I know I can be simple-minded at times, but the people I interact with can get downright DUMB.

Take my 21 year old friend, for example. She's friend's with this 41 year old man who can hardly speak correct English. Aaaaall the ladies swoon over him, no matter how old they are. He is a flirtatious, divorced pervert with 3 REAL LIFE kids!! Well... him and my 21 year old friend, Jess, were getting "comfy" with one another. Soon, Jess informed me that Rick, the 41 year old, wanted to meet her in real life and possibly get together. He had a huge crush on her and she started to believe she liked him back. I was about to tell her that she was nuts, yet instead, I told her the story about my teacher friend, Daniel. Stunned, she said that MAYBE she should stay friends with Rick. I thought that was a smart idea. So, they stayed as friends.

UNTIL Rick "supposedly" played Jess off. Jess found out Rick was flirting NOT ONLY with another woman, but also with 18 year old girls in very naughty chat rooms.

Such a turn on, right ladies? ...

Jess was so upset, she had to invite me and let off some steam. She couldn't understand!! I understood perfectly FINE. He's a sick bastard. End of story.

After a few minutes of venting, Jess said that Rick was online and she was going to go tell him off. I rooted her on, she disappeared, and I waited a couple days later for some answers.

Turns out, they're still friends...

I'm serious. That's how stupid these people are.

I AAALMOST wanted to invite Jess to a private chat and give her the ol' lecture of the day! Make her feel bad for her choices!! However, I think I'll let her figure out on her own what she did wrong. Usually hurts a lot more.

Aren't I wicked? Yea... Sometimes I can be. Welcome to reality.

Day 28 of Florida

College people are nice. Most are very respectable. And very respectful.

I didn't go to my classes today because, well, I'm DONE! But I forgot to mention something in yesterday's post. Something that made my day :)

I was sitting on the floor, next to a friend of mine from ITAL, who was sitting in a comfy chair. We were in this study area by our classroom. We were studying for the Italian test. All of the seats were taken by busy students. Or, students who were waiting for something and only sat there to mess with their phones. But I wasn't about to tell them, "Hey uhh... Can I take your seat, please? I need it for studying..." The floor can hold my weight. I was fine sitting on the carpeted floor. Even my friend was concerned! He felt bad that he was sitting in a chair and not letting me have one either. Yet I assured him I was fine! So, we continued studying.

A feller was sitting in a different comfy chair on the adjacent side of Omar (my friend). He was studying for math. A seat next to him was clear but... I wanted to be next to Omar. Resting my back on a small coffee table, I kept studying until suddenly, I got a tap on the shoulder. I turned to see that the boy, who was studying for math, had tapped me. He said, "I just realized I have an empty seat beside me. Would you like my seat? I can scoot over one." I smiled sheepishly. "Sure! If you're willing." I giggled. He smirked and moved over. I gladly took his seat, said thank you multiple times, prior to studying again.

A couple minutes later, the math lad's buddy came and they began to chat about the friend's test. Soon, I got another tap on my shoulder. I looked and the math boy asked, "What would you say is the percentage of a C in math?" I thought about it. Then, I answered, "I think a 70%." He cheered quietly to himself. I laughed. We talked for a moment about math and how he wanted to pass the class. He didn't care for an All-Star grade. All he wanted to do was move on. I agreed.

A few minutes later, as I studied once more, the math boy stood up and walked off with his friend. But, before he got too far, he made sure to tell me, "Have a good day" with a smile. I said it back.

Wasn't that sweet???? God... Some people really do know how to make another person's day. That was really nice of him. :)

TODAY was laid back and ABSOLUTELY relaxing. Pay Pay needs more days like these... Sheesh. See? I'm such a happier person when I don't have a load of stress weighing me down. It's nice for a change. I'm enjoying this little break. Any break is fabulous for a college student. Anything goes.

I stayed in bed until about... 3 o'clock. I got great sleep. I think I caught up to all the hours that I had to sacrifice due to projects and homework. Thank goodness...

Right now I'm saying Goodnight to Mason and goofing off with IMVU stuff.

You know Mason's beginning to FINALLY read my blog????? He actually likes it. He ACTUALLY... LIKES my blog. He says it hits home. That's what I wanted to accomplish. I'm so happy he's reading it. He began with my boot camp posts. I think he wants to try and read everything; up to now. That's a LOT of reading. I read Boot Camp 1 to Boot Camp 44 from 10:00 to 3:00. He is a fast reader though. I like to envelop in what I read, so I read slower and out loud to myself.

:) <3 Thank you, sweetie. I love you. <3

Cherry Blossoms, Japan

 

In Japan the nighttime viewing of cherry blossoms in spring, like these at Kyoto’s Hirano Shrine, is a special event. "The cherries' only fault: the crowds that gather when they bloom," wrote Saigyo, a 12th-century poet.

Day 27 of Florida

I'M DONE WITH MY FINALS!!!!!!!!!11

How do I think I did???

Well, I'm guessing I PASSED! C'mon! I have to. I'm Payton!!! I need to succeed!!!

Besides the Finals, I went to Subway for celebration, seeing an old time friend (named Preston who works at that Subway) from our elementary school, then I came home and did jack crap. I have a horrible headache and I'm very sleepy, so I'll end this post here and possibly fall asleep on Mason.

It's like a routine, really.

He falls asleep on ME, I fall asleep on HIM... Ya know.

Alright. Type to you again tomorrow. Peace. <3

Day 26 of Florida

Why is the military so touchy???

I understand that people risk their lives serving this country but... what's up with the military getting into your PERSONAL business???

Here's an example: Mason claims that he can get in trouble because I posted Harlem Shake videos on my blog... Mason isn't in ANY of the videos nor do I know if he made one. How can HE get in trouble when posting those videos was my doing???

I just don't get it...

Honey, you won't get in trouble. If the Marines don't like what I'm doing on MY blog, they should talk to ME. Sounds right, right?

Anyway, let's not PUT MYSELF in trouble...

My day was... ordinary, I suppose. I got to sleep in. However, I woke up with a runny/stuffy nose...

I love how I get no sleep with no side-effects (except for grogginess) yet when I DO get sleep, I wake up with a stuffy nose and a bit of a cough. Okay, health. Whatever you say!

This whole weekend I've been studying (writing crap down) for my ITAL Final. I didn't even get the chance to read it all over... It was so much information! That's why I am getting up at 6 in the morning to look it over, try and memorize it, before heading off to school and beginning the 2 hour test.

I'm glad I have both of my Finals on Monday. I'll have more free time and less stress. The only thing I'd be stressing about is Mason. No problem there.

In other news; how about that Argentinian Pope, huh? I asked my ITAL teacher on what she thought about it. I was thinking she'd be angry. Instead, she was quite happy that they made a first-time change. Nothing too dramatic, though. She said that Argentina was a "sibling" to Italy.

I also forgot to mention something that occurred on Thursday...

I was driving home from school. Stopped at a red light, I decided to take a glance in my rear-view mirror. What I saw made me do 15 takes until staring: I saw a man, driving a cheap Honda, who looked JUST... LIKE... ZAK BAGANS FROM GHOST ADVENTURES!!!!!!!!11

No lie. He acted similar to Zak Bagans, too. Or... at least... he acted in a way that made me picture Zak Bagans doing the same stuff.

His first action was messing with the seat belt holder.

His second action was grabbing a sponge OUT OF NOWHERE and wiping down his front window shield.

His final action was looking in HIS rear-view mirror and fixing his spiked-up, jet-black hair.

His facial structure was strong like Zak's, he wore dark sunglasses, and he looked muscular. Of course, the definite giveaway was the spiked-up hair. Zak always has his hair spiked.

BUT I DIDN'T KNOW FOR SURE IF IT WAS HIM!!! I blame the sunglasses...

I forgot to watch Ghost Adventures on Friday to see if they WERE in Seattle. But I'm sure I can figure out some how.

Not Netflix, though... They still haven't put the show back up...

Now, I present to you, U.K. Elvis:

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=G8fjHJbF9Es

(I couldn't put up a video... I don't know why)

Day 25 of Florida

This'll be quick. I'm not feeling up to Par and... well... nothing happened today.

I woke up at 9 after my nightmare, I watched SNL and dealt with idiots on IMVU. I texted with Mason, I played pool with him and Skyped him.

Now, I'm "studying" for my ITAL Final. I don't know if I'll go to the restaurant tomorrow...

Here's a picture of Mason doing what I wish to be doing instead of going to college:

Day 24 of Florida

I wonder how a villain feels when he/she finds out he/she is the bad guy... You know?? Maybe they don't think they're doing such a bad thing. Maybe they think they're doing something for the greater good. Maybe they WANT to make change, but all they cause is havoc.

It feels terrible when the villain finds out he/she is the bad guy all along!

Anyway... Just wanted to share that...

Today sucked. I'll briefly tell you about it because I don't really want to relive it right now... Or ever.

Pretty much, I can't go to ENGL 101 because my reading sucks donkey nuts. So, I have to take this reading lab class in the evening with the staff.

Can anyone say, "Mentally challenged?"

Besides that, today in general just... was stupid... I was bored and depressed and had to figure out how to fix my quarter classes. I finally did... after making multiple calls that lead me to the ENGL department Chair master guy's voice message machine. I hung up. I wasn't going to leave a message. I made up my damn mind.

So, my new classes are the reading lab and Astronomy. I'm still continuing with Math.

Now, here's a cute picture of me and my cat, Fluffy, to cheer you guys up. Enjoy.

Day 23 of Florida

I've been having morbid dreams lately. I don't know where they come from, like their concepts, but I have been depressed and angry. The... NIGHTMARES I've been dreaming up deal with either death or hurt or rage... I toss and turn at night... It's horrible. I don't like it at all. So, I'm drinking this drink called "neuro sleep." It's supposed to have these chemicals in the liquid that prone your brain into getting sleepy and wanting to sleep solidly. Hopefully it works.

Today was boring as Hell. I skipped Math again (after getting a review packet for our math Final on Monday) but dealt with ITAL presentations and ENGL lectures.

Once home, I watched more lovely episodes of SNL from the 70s. I talked to Mason on IMVU. He was sending me pictures of himself (NO! NOT NUDE, SICKO!) to cheer me up. However, I suddenly burst out crying!!! I was happy one moment, then the next I was blubbering like the day I was born!!!

I used to do that when Mason was in Boot Camp. I mean, we had no contact - only letters... It was a very lonely time. I guess emotional breaks downs are Second Nature to me...

Yet I'll stay positive! For example; tomorrow I have a conference with my ENGL teacher to see if I pass and get an approval that I'm ready for ENGL 101! I'm nervous, but ready for an answer.

Another cool thing... Mom got to take a photo and film an eagle who perched himself on our phone pole... We don't live in the outskirts!!! That was shocking!!! And beautiful!!! I wish I would have been home.

I am getting sleepy, now. Maybe that drink works after all. Maybe I won't have nightmares tonight and I'll have a pleasant tomorrow.

Goodnight everyone.

Day 22 of Florida

Peeps! I'm tired as all heck... I presented today in ITAL. Everyone was impressed with my PowerPoint!!!! ... Not sure about my speech though... I didn't do so good at talkin'.

I had no idea what I was saying!

Anyway, how are you guys??? I'm doing well, thanks!!! In ENGL, I turned in my portfolio (one Final down! Two to go!) and in MATH... Well, I don't know what they did because I skipped the class. I was done for the day!!!

I know there is something going on for tomorrow, I just can't pin-point it out... Hmm... Hopefully nothing that involves thinking. If I don't have anything to do, I'll play Bejewled to try and defeat my current record!!!! Want to know what my current record is??? Here you go!!!:

(Can you beat me?!)

Day 21 of Florida

Hey guys!

I did my ITAL performance today and all went well! I'm proud of my group. :) I'm happy I didn't have to deal with a bunch of snobs like last quarter... I might have shot myself in the foot if that were to happen AGAIN.

Or, act like I was having a panic attack. One of the kids in another group supposedly had one due to the anxiety of actually memorizing lines and performing in front of a class. However, me and a few others speculated that the SKIT couldn't have been the ONLY thing that was driving him to over-exert himself.

Tomorrow, I have another ITAL presentation. But this time, I'm on my own... I need to develop a script. I'm getting up at 6 in the morning to do so. Hopefully I can get it done in time before class!! ... If not, I'd be screwed because I can't memorize that much grammatically correct Italian.

Wish me luck!

In ENGL, we had a workshop for our final essay. I didn't do anything other than play "4 Pics 1 Word." I have a feeling my essay is already good enough. C+? Maybe a B-? Hell, make it a solid A and I'd be golden!

The math test wasn't as difficult as I was expecting it to be! How long was it??

... 2 pages...

I finished it in... 15 minutes. Literally, I turned the page of the second paper and when I noticed I was staring at a desk top, I made the biggest puzzled expression EVER! I didn't understand!! 6 sections?! 2 pages worth?!

Fine by me! A quick test means a quick drive home!

When I got home, I watched an SNL episode prior to going to the doctor. Yes, yes I'm ALRIGHT!!! Just a simple girlie check-up was all! No need to fret.

Once BACK home, I watched MORE SNL, laughing my ass off as usual, before starting my PowerPoint.

Ugh... I can't wait for that 10 day break... Even though I'll be getting up at 5 each morning (so I could get used to a quarter's long of it), I won't have to worry about homework or annoying traffic jams. Just plain ol' Netflix and a glass of milk. :) Oh! And of course... MY HONEY! Can't forget him, right? ;D

By the way, he starts school on this coming up Thursday. I wish him luck, I know he'll do perfectly fine, and I want him to know that I love him very much and I'm with him in his heart. <3

Day 20 of Florida

I found SNL on Netflix. I just finished watching Episode... uhh... Well, I do know I'm still on Season 1. I forgot they started that show in the 70s and STILL CONTINUING! I love SNL. Finally... I have something to do in my free time.

If you are wondering what happened with my story, I'm sort of slacking because of the finals and the projects. Sheesh, I have to act tomorrow in ITAL and on Wednesday, I have to present my individual presentation as well as turn in my ENGL portfolio.

I miss writing my story, though - don't get me wrong. But being stressed and depressed can kill EVERYTHING. Shoot, I'm even jealous over my boyfriend having a funner time in the Marines than I am in the civilized world.

Now, I'm beating myself up for being jealous over my one true love... Is it really wrong??? Is it wrong if I'm jealous over the people I care for? It doesn't mean I love them any less!! It's just because I'm unhappy with my life and this depression can't let me go through, with what I want, to keep me stable; to have me happy.

I know for the people who are reading this and don't have depression, they aren't totally understanding my disadvantage. Even Mason doesn't understand. He'll say he does, but he truly doesn't.

I won't go on like this anymore... I shouldn't... It brings down my viewers.

My day went well. My ITAL group had a scare when we only noticed half of the skit was written out on our Google DOC. The restaurant owner dude went off to a cabin he rented with a friend. He wasn't here today, in class, so we didn't know what to do. We emailed him a few times; that was all we could do. Thankfully, just a couple hours ago, the guy typed up the rest of the script and I easily copy and pasted it into a Word Document for printing tomorrow morning. We'll be using note-cards... We can't memorize all of it... It'll deduct points yet we don't care.

ENGL was a bother and MATH was boring.

I have a long test in MATH tomorrow. I'm also going to the doctor for a check-up.

Wish me luck on tomorrow for... all that I have listed! Ta-ta!

Methane Bubbles, Alaska

 

The first clear ice of fall on an Alaskan lake captures methane that all summer long has bubbled from the bottom mud. In spring it will be released into the air. As permafrost melts, new lakes are forming all around the Arctic.

Day 19 of Florida

Just finished watching 6 hours of old ass PewDiePie videos... Holy crap.

He was playing Dead Space 2. His favorite phrases were, "Not gonna lie." and "I hate them so frickin' much!"

He was sort of annoying back in the day... Glad he changed for the better. Haha.

I did nothing today. A few homework assignments then YouTube for the rest of the day.

I'm not looking forward to this week, especially since my sleeping habits have gotten worse. My dreams are distracting and so is the heater. My dad or my mom keep turning up the heat! My body is sensitive!!! I don't like being cooked as I slumber!

Anyway, about the week, we're getting closer and closer to finals. I still need to memorize my lines for the ITAL skit, I still need to do the PowerPoint of my individual presentation... Obviously I'm avoiding those tasks for a reason... Because I'm exhausted! But I have to do it... in order to pass and all. Next quarter, I'm not suffering with ITAL or ANY OTHER LANGUAGE again. I'm done with learning another language. If I wish to learn another language, I'm buying Rosetta Stone. That's IT. I'm done taking tests and having too many assignments...

Lazy?

No... Just bored of the word "homework."

I guess that is all. I hope I won't have nightmares tonight... Dead Space isn't a friendly Family-Get-Together type of game. However, I surprisingly had an appetite as I watched Pewds kill these human/monster zombie creatures.

Eh... PewDie can make ANYTHING not seem dramatically scary. I mean, it's still suspensful to watch, but you feel content in a way because this dude, narrating his gameplay, is such a big goober.

Nonetheless, I must admit, I've almost spilled milk, that would be on my portable desk, from flinching horrifically hard on the jumpscares. Of course, Pewds would do the same exact thing.

Love ya, PewDie! -Brofist-

Day 18 of Florida

I slept in until 11:30 today.

... After waking up at 1:30 AM and not falling back asleep until 4. I was so wide awake, I wrote a letter to PewDiePie that I'll be sending to him on Monday.

I was really, really hot last night AND I couldn't stop conjuring up sad dreams! Ironically, Mason woke up at 2:00ish (my time) for this run that everybody was doing. He sent me a "Good morning" text and I sent him one back. I'm pretty sure he was confused. But I told him why I was awake and he said I'd better go back to sleep soon.

Well, if "soon" to him is two hours, then I succeeded.

The rest of the day was boring as Hell. I watched a documentary on Netflix called "Waiting for 'Superman.'" If you've never seen that movie and are concerned for children's education, please check it out. It is brilliant. I learned things I didn't even believe could be possible; like how there is a policy stating teachers can't be fired after a certain amount of years of being a teacher. They could be the lousiest teacher in the whole school, and not get laid off. Scary, right? I'm definitely putting my kids into private schools.

Did you know that a single inmate costs more than a student going to a private college? This is in a YEAR, people. In one year, more money is spent on a no-good nobody than a soon-to-be somebody.

Another great movie I watched was called "Everything Or Nothing." It was a documentary on how the James Bond series became so epically famous.

It has been 50 years since the James Bond series started. 50 years!!!

It was only a year ago that I learned Sean Connery was one of the FIRST James Bond's!!

I want the DVD set that has every single LAST James Bond movie ever created in it. But I heard it was stupid crazy expensive.

I DON'T CAAAAAAAAARE!!!!!

... Maybe I should be the FEMALE James Bond this Halloween...?

Currently, mom is taking care of my dad's friend's son while dad and his friend are out partying. I babysat for a while until I got a headache. Now I'm upstairs in my room typing this post!!!

I'm also on the phone with Mason, so I'm going to go and chat with him before falling asleep.

Peace.

Day 17 of Florida

I drank a full NOZ today and I'm sleepy right now...

LAME CHEMICALS ARE LAME!!!

I'm glad it is Friday. Feels like yesterday it was the other Friday. Gosh darn it, these weeks are flying by!!! I like it that way <3

I just got off of the phone with Mason. I'm having depression issues so we talked it out and had myself feeling better in a jiff. I think I just needed to hear his voice. Lately, we haven't been Skyping or calling because I didn't want to be that pestering girlfriend who took her boyfriend away from his amigos. That's bad... But after the chat, I figured out I'm not pestering him whatsoever (Thank Jesus). Anything after 2 or 3 (my time) works for him. That's when he's free.

Today was good. The ITAL project it FINISHED!!... Almost. Now we need to practice!!! I don't even know what my lines are :D I'll soon find out, though. This lady named Anita is typing up the script for us.

ENGL was useless...

MATH was quick...

And PewDie's videos are AWESOME!!!

I'm thinking of sending him a letter, telling him thank you for his amazing entertainment because it helps my days go by as my boyfriend, Mason, deals with the Marines.

You think Pewds would like it???

I hope so. He seems compassionate enough!

Day 16 of Florida

I'm stumped...

I can't add anymore data to my brain. It's on overload...

The only things I want to think about are my honey, my story, and the new Iron Man 3 movie.

I want to see Iron Man 3 at the IMAX!!! Get a full face of Iron Man's ASS being KICKED!! I love Iron Man and all (<3 Robert Downey Jr.), but when a HERO gets his or her ass BEAT... it's a well-needed to see movie. For sure. Heroes and Heroines don't get defeated. Or... precisely beat up in any case...

This Iron Man looks WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! better than the second one. I saw the second Iron Man a while ago, however, I do actually remember how much I thought it was ever so slightly corny. I don't even remember who the villain was...

I know who the villain is in Iron Man 3!!!!

MOTHAH SUCKIN' GANDHI!

His real name is Ben Kingsley, but he'll always be Gandhi to me. :)

HE LOOKS AMAZING IN THAT MOVIE!!!!!!!!!11 This character will probably be one of his greatest. I just can FEEL it, bros! My dad is stoked, too. He loves Ben, I think for the same reason why I love him; because of the masterpiece film "Gandhi."

Let's see what Kingsley has up his sleeve for Iron Man, eh???

In other news... I didn't Skype with May May last night... It seems he's having more fun with his roomies and I kind of don't want to take him away from that. Last night, they were listening to some music during the moment I asked if we could Skype. He said he'd either see if his mates could turn down the music or he'd Skype me outside in the hall.

Weeeeeeell, honestly, I didn't want him to do EITHER.

Sooooo, I said I was falling asleep and felt depressed (WHICH WAS TRUE!) and we skipped...

I advised him to make the arrangements for Skyping and calling and whatnot. He, obviously, has a bigger social life than I will EVER have. That's completely fine because he deserves it. <3

Today at school, I had an ITAL test...

Guess who cheated?

In ENGL, we learned more stuff that I already knew.

In MATH, we went over some things for tomorrow's math quiz.

Again, tomorrow morning I have to wake up early and meet my project teammates before ITAL for the script. We haven't written jack crud... I think we're effed but... that's me.

I HOPE we can get something together QUICK. Technically, tomorrow is rehersal day.

Right.

I also have to do a PowerPoint for ITAL that'll be shown as a personal presentation AFTER the skits are through...

BLAH!!!

So tired of this quarter. So tired.

Day 15 of Florida

Aaaaagh! I'm about to fall asleep, guys!!! I've been working nonstop until just a couple minutes ago... It's been a long day...

A very SUCCESSFUL day (besides my ITAL homework), but a long one.

I might Skype with Mason in a few, but I just wanted to quickly come on here and say my usual stuff.

Today was rainy but an alright school day. At home, I continued the struggles with homework for each class. I have two tests tomorrow, totally not ready for them, and I'm completely done with this quarter!!!

The thing that I'm happy about, is the fact that I'm sleepy nowadays. FINALLY I can have a solid rest... I even turned my phone on silent so Mason's texts don't bug me at 4 in the morning (Sorry honey <3 I still want you to text me Good Morning though!).

Anyway... Off to Skype!!! Mason warned me that his roomies are still awake. Maybe I'll get to say Hi to one of them.

P.S; Watched PewDie and saw this character - the cartoonized version of Slenderman! ;o

Day 14 of Florida

Hmm... Not much to say.

Guess who was bored all day?!

I WAAAAS!!!

Jeez... I don't want to learn anymore. I want to write my story!!! It's so good right now!!! I finally feel proud of myself over something.

Tomorrow, I get up at 6 instead of 7. I'm meeting my ITAL group before class to discuss on our project.

I told you that I'm hanging out with a chef who owns his families Italian restaurant, right???

WELL I'LL TELL YOU AGAIN!!!!

Since it's awesome :)

I know where I'm going when I move out!!!

Discounts????

After the meeting, we go to class. And as everyone else learns, I play Bejewled 2. That game is my crack (other than IMVU). Dreadful, right?? I should be cooperating, huh???

I've cooperated ENOUGH. Give me the finals so I can get the eff out of there!!!

However, I have to wait another couple of weeks...

Oh well!

Let's me have some time to study.

And rack up my points in Bejewled ;)

Day 13 of Florida

WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT?!?!

GEEZUS!

Nothing happens nowadays where I want to spill my guts out on it!!

...

I am beginning to watch PewDiePie again. He makes my days worth while when Mason is gone. <3 Thank you, Felix :)

Hopefully I remembered your name right... :/

ANYWAY... Today was fine. Just... learned the usual stuff. More about Italian tenses and English workshops and Slope-Intercept crap...

THEN... I came home and watched Pewds. He brightened my day (besides my honey bear) and now here I am, typing this to all of you readers and/or skimmers.

Speaking of Mason, he gave me a very silly text this evening. He tells me, "Man... I have a big booty." I say back, "Yea. You do have a big butt for a boy!" And he goes, "I know, right?!"

Ohhh, May May. Don't worry. I like your butt :) A man with a little volume in the gluteus maximus is no problem for me! I think it's quite attractive :D And cute. <3

By the way, I forgot to announce that the folks and I have purchased VIP tickets to go see Jillian Michaels at the Paramount (I believe?) on April-something. 10th? ... Goddamn my memory. BUT! Besides my retarded brain, I am excited to go see her and maybe even MEET HER PERSONALLY!!! Because that's what's awesome about VIP status, correct? Very Important Peeps, right???? I'M ONE OF THEM!! C'MON JILLIAN!!!! At least give me a hug on stage. :)

:O!

THEN I COULD SAY I MET A FAMOUS PERSON LIKE I'VE ALWAYS DREEEAMED!!!!!!!11

Though she's NO Johnny Depp, I'd still be pleased :)

Mythbusters are dropping by Seattle as well. I reeeeeeeeeally want to go see them, too!!! However, I don't think my parents will cough up THAT much dough in a month or so...

Damn.

Hey!! There will be other times!! Won't there be??? Seattle is one of those places where you'd love to visit again and again without hesitation. Trust me on that.

Well.... I better go work on my story. I haven't updated it in a few days (since yesterday...). So, I'm going to do that while texting my man. PEACE OUT, Y'ALL!!!!!!!!!!!

Day 12 of Florida

I have little to say. Due to being distraught, my brain is barely functioning in a rightful manner. To make a long story short, I'm beyond the usual depressed state. My main emotion seems to be composed of sadness instead of the ordinary content feeling.

I will apologize to my fellow readers/skimmers about my future posts. If they are becoming too grieving for you, I understand. Actually, I don't truly know why I continue this blog. Mason doesn't read it and I think he will never read it. There are too many posts, correct? Too much reading, right?

Before I go, I'll tell you a bit of what happened today. I sat on my butt and procrastinated, leaving a final essay on my shoulders at the last minute. I'm taking the time now to write out this post and to get a few unwanted burdens off of my chest prior to concentrating on the work again.

The essay isn't an easy one. It's based on the book "Deep Economy" by Bill McKibben. Personally, I think it's one of the most boring books I have ever laid eyes on. Now, I have to do a research paper on a claim he made in one of his excruciatingly bland chapters.

On a side note, I'm thinking of starting Birth Control. I don't want to take something as serious as Anti-Depressants because of my sensitive body, but I do want something to ease this emotional war going on in my head. I already emailed my doctor. She'll probably email me back by tomorrow.

Goodnight everyone.

I'll be awake typing.

Yasuní National Park, Ecuador

 

From the bromeliads, ferns, and orchids that cover a kapok tree 160 feet above the forest floor to the jaguars that prowl below, Ecuador's Yasuní National Park is home to countless plant and animal species. All of them now face threats from oil development.

Day 11 of Florida

Every time it rains, it's because someone around your area has washed a very nice, very expensive car that the owner loves to death.

It rained cats and dogs this afternoon...

A lot of owners must have washed their precious cars either last night or this morning.

I usually take a walk whatever the weather is like. However, torrential downpour is not an exception... I got dressed up to take an easy-going stroll, went to the front door, opened it up, and there was rain... There was a TON of goddamn rain... It was louder than Hell. It... was... a bunch.

I thought twice, though! I really did! Because I needed that walk!

Guess not.

I stayed inside, like a skittish animal, and sulked.

My moods were out of whack today. My mind is beginning to spazz out a tiny bit. So much work in so little time. I'm starting to TRULY miss affection and I'm feeling sort of lonely. I mean, yes, I'm making my own choices by not going out into the world, creating friends or living a fulfilling life but... I HAVE TIME! Right now I'm focusing on my schooling and on Mason and... just getting through this havoc.

Tomorrow, I'll be doing an essay. It's due Monday. Can't wait...

Day 10 of Florida

Mom will be home in an hour or so. I'll be awake. I'm working on my story.

That's right.

I'm actually doing something PRODUCTIVE.

Well, more or less, having fun.

Being productive would be doing the homework that I have due in the next few days.

I'm going to be extremely swamped over this weekend... Yay me!...

I'm just lying here in my bed snuggling my kitty, Cheetah. I'm texting Mason as he reads a few of my already-finished chapters on the blog I created to post my book on.

Can you believe it's March already???? Sheesh... Time is whizzing by and I'm not even spending it with the love of my life :/ Doesn't that suck???

... Since I seem to be hopping from subject to subject, I'll go ALL the way back to the beginning of my day.

Not much to say on it. I had a decent day. Just learned some more ITAL, got lectured in ENGL, and almost fell asleep in MATH.

Same ol' stuff, different day.

Now, I'll be signing off and continuing my writing progress.

Ciao!

Traditional Home, Libya

 

Kasim Abdu Salaam Habib, 39, opens his lovingly decorated 600-year-old home to foreign tourists in Ghadames in western Libya. The house needs repairs, and visitors are scarce these days. But Habib is optimistic. "I want to see Libya as a democracy," he says.