Day 108 of Florida

Next week is finals week... Am I unprepared? No. Am I nervous as Hell. You can say that again!

This weekend will be full of studying. I'm going to make this Friday last a while... Oh God, how much I HATE studying! Especially with a memory like mine.

I'm exhausted these days; I can't think straight, eat well, speak English - I'm a walking pod with nothing inside of me. Though I do feel like the world is weighing down my shoulders. That's always a nice feeling...

I'm watching Family Guy right now to calm my nerves. I'm also talking to Mason on IMVU. I'll do anything to keep my anxiety at bay.

I want to write my new story I thought up just a couple days ago. Yet I know if I start it soon, before the finals, I'll have it constantly on my mind. I need knowledge on my mind, not imagination. That can wait.

Day 107 of Florida

My day was honestly added crap from the previous crappy days in this week. Why is this week taking so long to get over??? Am I being punished??? Or am I simply having an anxiety attack as I write this???

I know I'm anxious for my finals... I can't believe I end my first year in college next week.

I have a ton of studying to do. Yuck.

Lets talk about how irrational my day was...

Everyone and their mama decided to drive like today was Friday - rushing to get home. I almost got into multiple accidents, including this one moment where this dude cut me off. HE CLEARLY SAW ME! He was looking over his shoulder. He knew I was there. But I had to slam on my breaks and honk my horn so I wouldn't get a fender-bender.

Yet this guy wasn't done driving like a moron. There was a lady in the passenger side, holding up a hand to the people in the left lane, gesturing for them to stop. Traffic was up the ass, so mild gaps were rare. But he made it through! All the way to a lane that would be merging back into the left lane he crossed over.

Idiots. I hope it was an emergency.

I didn't think today could get any better. I felt stuck in the rut, unable to wiggle free. When it was time to head home, fearing I would deal with imbeciles behind the wheel again (which I did), I came across a slit of paper under my wipers. I thought, "GREAT! Someone hit my car! At least they left me their information..."

I was dead wrong.

Someone had left me a note, stating their gratitude for my husband's service. At the end, the person wrote "Semper Fidelis!" meaning "Always faithful."

I almost cried. I always hoped someone would do that to me. On iFunny.com, people posted pictures of them getting a similar note from strangers. Sometimes, the person got money.

I'm not asking for money, for a prize, for extreme glorification - but a simple note such as this anonymous doer did, is enough to put a smile on a depressed, lonely girl.

Thank you, to whoever left me the letter. Thank you.

Day 106 of Florida

Mason and I resolved our issues. Life is beginning to clear up, finally. Two days ago, Mason had said something that rubbed me the wrong way. I won't say what he said, but I will say I took it as a different point of view. His point of view, I know, is the correct one. My point of view on certain things while I'm depressed are severely "out there." Even though my brain wants to believe I'm right, I can be totally wrong.

I'm glad we fixed the problem. I would have had this monkey off of my back sooner from therapy, yet my therapist wrote me down for Thursday when she told me through text I was set for Wednesday. A silly mistake. No big deal. We're seeing each other tomorrow - same time like today's.

Since we're on the subject of therapy, I'm not sure if I want to continue being a therapist on IMVU. I know, I know; I just started!!! Why give up now??? Because I don't want to haggle myself to a computer, when in the mood of not dealing with one, to take care of someone who could easily find another IMVU therapist. That new therapist might require money, but my clients do have other choices. However, I'll wait and see where life takes me. I am in the vibe of giving up since Finals are right around the bend. I'm freaking out!!!! I don't know how I'll do...

All I can say is, I hope my depression doesn't get in the way. I don't want to stress out anymore than I already am.

Here's a note to my depression if it decides to be an ass:

Day 105 of Florida

It feels as though my brain is playing suspenseful music with bows scratching violin wires.

That's all my brain seems to play these days... Taunting, suspenseful music with just violins.

No other instruments. No orchestra. Only violins and them being plucked or scratched.

My day was fine. The norm. The weather was gorgeous. C89.5 announced that a week and a half will have glorified weather. I'm excited. That means I get to wear my salmon pink Keep Calm/Marines t-shirt.

Speaking of wearing things, Mason sent me a care-package. He gave me a small military baggy filled with memorabilia. One of those was his original dog tags. I'm wearing them currently. Other things included a picture of us while Mason opened up his high school graduation gifts (and when our first year of being together was right around the corner) Another thing was a handful of rocks. Not sure where those came from, but I love collecting rocks. There was also a sticker that said "Marine wife. Toughest job in the corps." I immediately put that on my car (this time, I put the sticker on a window - one that can't roll down) Other stuff were extra dog tags, tokens to the Marine Ball and letters of when Mason was at Camp P. The picture and those letters almost made me cry. I'm sure they will once I'm alone and experience them in solitude.

Day 104 of Florida

This post is going to be quick... I don't feel too well...

Today had beautiful weather. I didn't have math this morning, so I stayed in my car melting for an hour. I'm glad yet also pissed that I missed math. I was glad because supposedly we had a math quiz today. I didn't study. But I'm pissed because I could have slept IN!

While I stayed in my car for that hour, I kept watch of my driver-side mirror. I told you about the wasps that hide behind the mirror, right? Well, if I didn't, I'll let you people know that my driver-side mirror is a fave for the wasps. Comforting... isn't it?

It wasn't so comforting this morning when I pulled into the parking lot, parked my car, and waited for math to begin. A wasp decided to chill out on my driver-side mirror and he didn't go away. Once it was time for class, I was hesitant. I didn't want to open my door, making the wasp angry, and having him sting me all the way to class as I bawl and screech, flailing my hands in every which way possible. So, I took it REALLY freakin' easy... I opened my door slowly, constantly keeping my eyes on the wasp. When I grabbed my things, I backed away gradually and while I did, I slammed the door close. The wasp hardly bothered to move.

I was lucky.

The weather continued to be beautiful. I even let Indigo have a few natural UV rays. It's good for him; getting clean air instead of staying inside a stuffy room. I'm sure Indigo appreciates it.

Tomorrow... Well, all I have to say is that it's going to be a new day. I just hope it is going to be better than this one.

Day 103 of Florida

Recently, I have been super stoked for the movie Monsters University. It looks just as awesome as Monsters Inc.! I really hope they didn't ruin the new one. :/ I would be totally disappointed.

My day was lazy. I watched Netflix, dealt with two other clients, and talked with Mason.

My parents came home this evening. Finally, someone to do the chores. ;)

Right now, I'm Skyping a sleepy Mason. He just blurted out "So many choices!" I asked him, "In what?" He goes, "What?" after opening his eyes. I told him what he said and he told me that he must have been asleep when he said that. Hahahaha. <3 Silly honey.

Day 102 of Florida

So, I'm a part-time therapist on IMVU.

I had my first client today. She was a very interesting one. However, I won't be sharing what we discussed since that's how it works. :)

Call me crazy, but I've been thinking of being a therapist on IMVU for a long time. I'm going to say after a few years of experience with therapy, I said to myself, "Hey, I wonder if people on IMVU who can't afford real life therapy need a therapist to talk to. I should be there to help." And so, I pursued my want.

I don't charge my clients. It's all free. Really, I'm doing it for the benefit of assisting them and also something to kill time. Nonetheless, I did add in my description (for my therapy appointment room) that if they want to gift me or give me credits, it's always appreciated.

Because honestly, I have too much in my wish list...

Speaking of IMVU, the programmers need to fix some bug that's interrupting us players' gameplay. They finally announced that there is an issue. ABOUT DAMN TIME! IT HAS ONLY BEEN GOING ON FOR A WEEK NOW! Sheesh.

Besides that, my day was alright. Somewhat lonely, highly emotional, yet in the end, relaxing. I didn't have to deal with my parents' idiocy.

I love them. But sometimes, I want to banish them on an island full of so many poisonous snakes, that it had to be quarantined.

;)