Day 128 of San Diego

Yes, yes... I forgot to do a post yesterday... You know why? Because it turned midnight before I could say Supercalifradgelisticespialidocious.

I hope I spelled that right...

ANYWAY... Happy beloved birthday to Grandpa J.! Today, he turned 37.

Wait...

ONLY JOKING! Flip the numbers around and you have the age correct!

We had a wonderful party. The family came over, we had a BBQ with cake and ice-cream at the end. We watched a little bit of the Mariners game. And sadly, our Mariners lost by a few points! If you watched the game, the Athletics were DEFINITELY hogging the game... Game hogs...

About yesterday, I don't even remember. All I know is that I must have been having fun since I lost track of time! I'm guessing I watched movies, goofed off with Mason, talked to folks over IMVU...

OH!!!

Mason and I tried to accomplish an all-nighter. BUT... at 2:30 AM, Mason started falling asleep on me. So, we called it a night/morning.

We did the same damn thing last night/morning. Became sleepy at 2:30 AM and went to bed.

I'm glad I wasn't grumpy today from my lack of hours. I woke up at 7 AM. Same with Mason. He had to cover one of his co-workers for cleaning. It only took him a solid ten minutes before we were able to hang out again. Yet when he leaves, I'm up for good. I must make sure he comes back to his room safe and sound.

Tomorrow is the first day of Spring quarter. Disappointingly, I have to go to bed around 10-11. I have to wake up at 6 AM... Not too proud of that. I could act stupid and stay up until 2 AM once again. But I would be staying up alone since Mason needs his sleep for work.

Let's see how my body likes it waking up three hours earlier than I'm used to.

Cloud Shine

“It was the most amazing night of my life so far,” says Your Shot member Martin Koitmae of capturing this noctilucent cloud over Estonia's Kuresoo bog, calling the silence of the moment “the loudest sound I’ve ever heard.”

Koitmae had never been to a bog before visiting this one in the country's Soomaa National Park. "It was an absolutely magical experience to see noctilucent clouds glowing and reflected by perfectly still bog pools and accompanied by complete silence."

Koitmae’s picture was recently included in a National Geographic Daily News gallery featuring these “night shining” clouds, which grace high-latitude sunsets around the globe. (By: Martin Koitmae)

Day 126 of San Diego

Mason and I are doing an all-nighter! It's official!

Doesn't mean I'll make it... But I'm trying this time! I swear!

I don't think I'll force my energy with coffee or an energy drink... That'll only stir chaos. Anxiety. Hysteria. Won't go well with our all-nighter. We want clean fun!

Right now, Mason and I are hanging out on IMVU. It's been, what, a week since we last hung out. I'm happy he's back. :) Last night, we Skyped for the first time in - what felt like - a long time over the computer. It was good to see his charming face. <3

I'm also watching American Pickers to keep myself awake. I had to buy an Xfinity app to watch this show upstairs because my TV decided to stop giving me cable...

THANK GOD FOR SMART PHONES!

I think I'm going to end it here. I need to spend time with my honey.

Take care! God bless America!

Day 125 of San Diego

I feel really weird these days. Like something isn't right. Something is unbalanced. I know I'm unbalanced emotionally. Maybe that's what's bothering my mind? I'm bothered that I'm being treated rightly by a man who claims he loves me when I can be as rude as his mother and accuse him of things that might be farther from the truth... 

It's hysteria, I tell you.

I'm not trying to make excuses... I'm just trying to fix myself... Some how explain over the Internet that I'm sick and need dire help.

As if someone's going to comment on this post, telling me the answers to rejuvenating myself - becoming a better and happier being!

I just want answers. I want answers to questions that may be hard to believe or are arguable that they are wrong to be brought up or thought about in general. 

I just want Mason back.

Day 124 of San Diego

Mom and I bought shipping wrapping paper and bubble wrap for Mason's desk. Mason said his computer will be ready for pick-up by tomorrow. His desk won't arrive tomorrow unless we flew it down. But we're sending it tomorrow and I hope it's at Mason's base within a week or less. 

I don't want Mason to use his bed sheets or a pillow as a prop for his computer anymore. I'm pretty sure that's what ruined his last hard drive. 

I don't know why I'm so concerned for his computer... I guess I'm saddened that Mason lost all of his data and I know I would be devastated if such a thing happened to me. I'm also grieving over losing a communication device with him. We don't need our communication to be strained in any way! 

The rest of the day, I bought Mason some Easter goodies; I goofed off on IMVU... That's about it. 

Did I mention IMVU was created on April 1st? How ironic is that? Considering IMVU has a majority of FOOLS!

Haha!

And yes, I'm calling myself a fool, too. I play the stupid game. That's pretty foolish. 

Speaking of foolish, my emotions are becoming foolish. I've been having tizzies with Mason for a couple days and it doesn't seem to be subsiding - the feelings, at least. Here's a scenario:  I must wonder whether I'm in the right for feeling irritated when someone tells me something (a statement, let's say, for not being able to do an activity) and when I ask "Why?" they tell me, "I don't know."

The "I don't know" response is what pisses me off. How can someone not know something when they insisted that they aren't able to do an activity? There has to be a reason behind thinking that, right? I can't say, "We won't be able to go to Disneyland next week" and someone asks, "Why?" and I reply back, "I don't know." It's like someone saying, "Because" after you ask why. Because why? Just "because"? 

There's always a cause and effect. Whether it be through conversation or physics. 

Maybe Mason and I need a break? I'm unsure if Mason will agree (because he always says we don't need breaks), but I think it'll help me ease whatever's bothering me about Mason and move on quicker. I'm constantly thinking Mason's going to hurt me in some way. That mindset might be damaging my logical thought process. Instead of telling myself, "Mason loves me!" I tell myself, "I'm a bitch and Mason doesn't deserve me." When thinking like the second statement, I'm automatically asking myself, "Why did he put that like that? Why didn't he tell me that straight up? Why isn't he replying back? Why isn't he reacting to what I called myself?" 

Yet I don't know if I want to take a break. I'm afraid Mason will get too mad at me and want to leave me because I did something we disagreed on a long time ago. And it's not like I'm taking a break from the relationship standpoint. I'm not going to go out with different guys, trying to tell myself Mason is the one. I already know that (even when he agitates me)! I just want to have Me time. I want us to pause the texting, the IMVUing... Pause our conversations for a little while. 

I know I said I didn't like it when our communication is strained, but... that's when I want to talk to Mason. And recently, I think I need some alone time and think things through without looking at what Mason's telling me, and not believing it or something. 

It's difficult to explain... I love Mason so much... Maybe not being able to IMVU him or Skype him is what's bringing me down...?

Honestly, I'm just fed up with us being separated. It's tearing me slowly apart. 

Day 123 of San Diego

I went to Uwajimaya today with mom. We were hungry. We wanted Asian snacks and cuisine. We knew where to go. 

We LOVE Uwajimaya! We haven't bought anything from there in a long time. But we made sure to stack up! $150 worth! Talk about starvation... Everything that looked appetizing on the shelves was thrown into our cart. I think we were the hungriest white people there!

Once home, we chowed down. We even chowed down in the car! We couldn't wait to get home! We ate chips and sushi and chocolate and Ramunè... DELICIOUS! 

It's nice to own tons of snacks during a break. That means more time eating! 

Oh! I must show you a silly picture of a "school bus" mom and I witnessed while driving home. I busted out laughing. I've never seen a school bus like THIS before:

Day 122 of San Diego

I really don't understand older people who think younger people should grow up in the sense that they're acting a little to "high school" for them, when in the first place that older person was starting drama. Interesting. I can't say whether a guy named Scotty I met on IMVU a few days ago is truly thirty-three years old when he acts like he's sixteen. Here's the story...

Scotty had a crush on a twenty year old girl named Sierra. She is on IMVU also. They've known each other for a month, I can guess, since Sierra is new to IMVU (a month old). Sierra is now getting cozy with an eighteen year old named Ian. He, too, plays IMVU. Again, they've known each other for about a month. Because Scotty had a crush on Sierra, he seems to be seeking for revenge. He flirted with me, trying to get Sierra irritated. Then today, he upped the ante. While hanging out with him, Ian, and Sierra, he invited me in a private chat, telling me horrible things about Sierra - how she slept with him and how she acted as though they were together and now she's going out with Ian. Sob story shenanigans, really. I thought I was listening to an ex-boyfriend of mine... He went on and on and on... He kept asking me if I would keep the conversation between him and I. I lied and said, "Of course!" I was telling Sierra the entire conversation from the beginning to the end. Sierra informed me that she never slept with him and that most of what he was sharing with me were lies and secrets. I believe her. Scotty and I left the private chat and joined the group back in the public room. After a few minutes of letting things sink in for Sierra, me, and Scotty, Scotty asks Sierra if they could have a talk. He invited her to a private chat. Sierra told me everything Scotty was telling her - about how he was upset that she wasn't going out with him and how the whole situation was too "high school" for him... But before Scotty could end with last remarks, Sierra left the private chat. In an instant, Scotty left the public room without saying a word. I deleted Scotty from my Friends List.

Don't worry. We were friends for a measly two-four days. Nothing ignited while our friendship was fresh. Haha.

Now, I must plan for when he recognizes that I'm no longer his friend. I don't know if I should blatantly tell him that I was deeply troubled by his lying and disrespect towards Sierra when the only problem was him becoming angry because Sierra didn't choose him. Or I should lie and say, "Damn... Maintenance must have taken a few friends off of my list."

I don't like lying... It weighs heavy on my shoulders and I feel it's wrong... I like telling the truth. Especially when people need to hear it. People need to be confronted for such cruelty. I understand that karma will get the best of Scotty, but I want Scotty to KNOW that I'm not giving in to his bull. I don't want him to think he got away with something quite immature. For a thirty-three year old man, I'll say I have bigger balls then he'll ever have.

The plan is definitely still under construction. I'm prepared for what I think will come once Scotty figures out what I've done.

Laguna Colorado

"I was traveling in South America last year, and one of the last places I visited was Uyuni in Bolivia, which is famous for its salt flats," says Your Shot member Dharshana Jagoda. "There was a stop at Laguna Colorada on our tour, which made up for the disappointment of being at the salt flats months ahead of the rainy season (too early to see the reflections produced by rain on the flats). I first saw the lake from quite a distance and didn't see the flamingos, only the contrast of the red water against the crystallized minerals. This photo was taken on my way back from the base of the lake." (By: Dharshana Jagoda)

Day 121 of San Diego

I'm watching Die Another Day with mom. I grew up to Pierce Brosnan as 007. I think I can say he's my favorite Bond. But I do like Daniel Craig as Bond. They both are very handsome Bonds. I think they look the part quite well. 

My day was fun. Played more of GTA V. I feel terrible, though... Whenever I'm stuck, I need to look up the solution. I wish I was as skilled as Mason! The man is a video game GENIUS! 

Well, he's just a genius in himself. 

But with video games... never underestimate his power. 

I need to find a desert with a temple that holds a sacred lamp. If this lamp is found, after surviving the deadly traps of course, I could rub the lamp and conjure the genie inside. I'll have the chance of getting three wishes granted. Screw the other two, my main wish would be to become as smart and as positive as Mason is. 

Tomorrow, I'm thinking of continuing my journeys on GTA. You see... I have - as Bond would say - unfinished business.