Day 183 of San Diego

I'm watching Django again. Goddamn movie is too good! A slave turning into a bounty hunter? I guess anything is possible in Hollywood.

I'm super tired. But I'm shocked I've stayed up this long!

The folks aren't home. They are somewhere two hours away waiting for a marathon tomorrow. Maybe their obnoxiousness drains me.

I might hit the hay in an hour. Django isn't COMPLETELY over and I'm trying to lure Cheetah and Diana inside. I can't sleep if I know a cat is outside... Poor kitties... I don't want them to starve and be alone. <3

Oh! Before I go... I know y'all will be proud of me when I tell you this...

I DID MY HOMEWORK!

Look at me! Acting responsible. :)

Tomorrow will be a decent Sunday then. No rush on homework. No pressure. No stress.

Ah...

Underwater Park

Every spring, melting snow creates a dreamscape in Tragöss, Austria. Green Lake, which for most of the year is no more than six feet deep, expands with the inflow of snowmelt, swallowing part of the park that surrounds it: trees, hiking trails, benches, bridges, and all. The lake's depth reaches some 30 feet and provides a unique experience for divers—for a few weeks at least. (By: Marc Henauer)

Day 182 of San Diego

JESUS... It was a LOOOONG Friday at school today... SOC was canceled, surprisingly, which meant I had to wait for NUTR for-

TWO. WHOLE. HOURS.

Yea...

Luckily I brought my computer.

Why did I wait for boring NUTR class on a sunny Friday?

Because I had a NUTR test...

How coincidental, eh?

But it was fun writing my short story. I made a lot of progress. I'm proud of myself. :)

I think I passed my NUTR test. I might have missed several questions at the end because I wasn't sure on the answers. If I PASS, I'll be happy.

Once I finished the test, I bolted for my car and drove home. I've been on my computer ever since. Haha.

I'm glad it's the weekend... I'm going to try my best to sleep in. All this week, I haven't slept well. I've been dreaming like it's nobodies business and I've been tossing and turning. I don't even know what I'm waking up to!

I do have homework over the weekend... I'll try to get it done quickly. Hopefully I won't be ignorant tomorrow and put it off until Sunday night...

Wild Horses

Wild horses graze under the watch of Mount John Laurie in Alberta, Canada. The peak is also known as Mount Yamnuska, Nakoda for "wall of stone." (By: O. Mehes)

Day 181 of San Diego

My Internet decided to take a crap on me tonight after mom changed the password with an Xfinity helper. I hope the Xfinity person knew what the Hell they were doing... I don't think I could survive without Internet over the summer...

My day was fine. I started on a short story project. I'm going to see how many short stories I can write before I'm sick of it or I lose ideas. 

It's something to do while I wait for my classes to start. 

However, I might not get the privilege tomorrow since I have to study for a NUTR test. 

Cool for me... I have two tests tomorrow... One in the morning and one in the afternoon. 

I'm going to end it here. I think I'm catching something. I feel like half cooked dung. 

But to have a happier ending, here's a picture of my dear cat Fluffy sitting on a shelf in our towel closet:

Day 180 of San Diego

My day was a bit better than yesterday. I wouldn't say today was GRAND but I wouldn't say today was awful either. 

I don't want to get into it... I'm just impatiently waiting for summer... 

NO MAS ESCUELA! NO ME GUSTA!

However, I may miss SOC. That's the only class I'm enjoying. 

In addition to waiting for school to end...!

Day 179 of San Diego

The only thing that is worth having on this post is that I got 200/200 on my SOC exam. I was one out of two people in my class to get a perfect score. The folks and I celebrated at our favorite sushi restaurant. We grubbed for two hours. The sushi maker, Alex, and a random customer congratulated me on my astounding accomplishment. I was humbled. 

The rest of my day can be described using this picture:

Day 178 of San Diego

Happy Memorial Day.

The family didn't celebrate with a BBQ or a gathering. We just hung out at home, watched movies, and cleaned the house. 

I did do my homework today! It was aggravating... but I had to finish it. I'm proud of myself with my essay. Surprisingly, I didn't need to edit it! I did well on the first try! 

That's why it took me two days to complete...

I'm rooting for a high grade! Wish me luck! Send happy thoughts!

Before I go, I wanted to share a picture of my grandpa's grave. My grandma visited his grave today and snapped a beautiful picture. 

We miss you and we love you grandpa! 

Day 177 of San Diego

Tonight, I'm watching The Machinist. I've always wanted to see this movie. I'm sure it'll be a psychological trip!

Anybody seen The Machinist? Do you guys know how Christian Bale managed to stay alive at 110 pounds? He's six feet tall. 110 pounds for a six foot male is... unfathomably skinny...

I'm curious if Hollywood added at least SOME computer graphics.

Today was leisure. I, of course, didn't hold my promise on doing some homework...

That's alright. I have one more day! No need to worry.

That's it, people. Have a good night.

On The Hunt

"It was an early morning on Great Plains of the Serengeti," writes Your Shot community member Greg du Toit, who took this photo. "This baby wildebeest, only a day old, had gotten separated from its mother during the night. The lioness, spotting the baby wandering across the plains, ran after it with composure and grace. The young little wildebeest was dwarfed in comparison and had nowhere to hide on the vast plains."

Day 176 of San Diego

I'm watching a movie called "Trouble With the Curve." It has Clint Eastwood in it. It's a two year old movie. So far, it's really good. It has an amazing cast. It's a 6.8 out of 10. Sometimes that means the movie is really good. Sometimes it means the plot is stupendous, but the acting is awful.

My day was great! It was relaxing. I accomplished a lot of not-school related stuff!

I'll probably work on some homework tomorrow. Get two hours done before the sun coasts over my rooftop.

That's all I need to write about. Nothing more.

Aerial Geometry

Paused for a moment in the rain, two pedestrians create a striking scene captured from above. This picture was taken near Milan Cathedral in Italy. (By: Ralitsa Byalkova)

Day 175 of San Diego

Supposedly there's a global meteor shower near the constellation Camelopardalis. It's North and about thirty degrees upwards from the horizon. However, I saw two stars shooting North to South in odd places. So, I'm guessing the general direction is North and the shooting stars will be shooting North to South. The show starts RIGHT NOW and will possibly end by one o'clock in the morning.

Things like these make me wish I was at my grandparents' lake property...

My day was alright. I skipped NUTR to have a shorter Friday considering I have a three day weekend.

I busted out my ENGL final essay. I haven't read it yet. I'll sleep on it and edit it tomorrow.

I have other homework, but it will take me only an hour. I won't mind.

I think I'll end the post here...

HAVE A FANTASTIC THREE DAY WEEKEND EVERYONE!

Day 174 of San Diego

You know when you're unimaginably exhausted when you have to breathe heavy in order to stay awake.

Yea.

That's me right now.

I had a crappy day. 

Excuse me...

MOM AND I had a crappy day and it continued until just now. 

We are full blown tired! I don't even have the energy to complain!

I will use the energy to tell you something positive: While driving to Best Buy today, I saw a bum holding up a sign saying, "Please help. Even smiles work." So, I decided to smile and wave at him. He smiled back. When he walked by my car, I rolled down my passenger-side window and talked to him for a little. He was a kind old man. I asked him how he was doing and he said, "I'm holdin' in there." I told him, "Just keep that mindset, man." Soon, we told each other to have a good one and he walked off. 

I felt great afterwards. 

See, that's what I do when I'm having a crappy day - I be nice to people. Because when I make other people happy, I'm happy. 

I'm as happy as Cheetah sitting in our garden on a sunny Spring day!

Day 173 of San Diego

Both Mason and I are exhausted. This week has been tearing us apart... I don't know how well Mason is sleeping, but I know for a fact that I'm losing sleep as the week continues...

I've been having nightmares. Supposedly, you're not supposed to eat food before bed. Well... I like food... So... That's going to become a hassle...

Allegedly, if you eat food before bed, you'll dream more vividly or have restless rest.

I also heard that if you eat chocolate, that will too produce vivid dreams.

My nightmares are strangely random. I don't need to watch videos or think of something dreadful for them to pop up.

Two nights ago, I had a nightmare on survival. It was during a time of Armageddon. But this Armageddon was different from what most people believe. My Armageddon involved perfectly normal weather, yet suburban neighborhoods were abandoned. Families fled in fear from the militia team that would come around killing them and, I guess, looting them.The family, a few friends and I bunked out in a large mansion. We watched families being forced out of their homes from the militia crew that relentlessly stole their goods and harassed them. I don't remember if we saw people being killed, but my brain told me it was happening. At night, we would turn off the lights, deceiving the militia team into thinking nobody resided in the mansion we were hiding in. There was a short fight scene, though, where I thought a militia team member found out we were hiding out and broke into the house to nab us. Yet I tried beating the crap out of the guy. However, I think he was a friend of ours because I suddenly stopped and we began to talk. The dream ended there.

I don't remember the second dream I had that same night. But I do remember the dream I had last night. Poor Indigo was dying on me. I had to try and save him every so often, as if he were dangerously sick. I don't know if he died in my dream. I'm just glad it was a dream.

I hope tonight I won't tussle with my mind. I need the sleep...

Fishermen's Song

"Located in the middle of Vietnam, Hue city is famous for the old palaces, [and the] beautiful Perfume River. This is a must-see place if you visit Vietnam. The two fishermen are throwing casting nets on Nhu Y river. Their movement is like an artist playing a nice song." (By: Nguyen Dinh Thanh)

Day 172 of San Diego

I FINISHED MY MINECRAFT HOUSE YESTERDAY! I may add more furniture, but I would like to share pictures I took of my home and surroundings. Enjoy!:

My house and barn (and my pet horses!)

Inside the horses' barn.

My portal to The Nether (A.K.A. Hell)

The large collection of sugar cane (for paper - making books)

Backside of my house.

My own personal dock.

My dining and living room.

My dining and living room (2).

My kitchen.

My living space.

My dinner table with secret underground doors beneath.

My library/chill-out area.

The T.V. and library portion.

My bedroom (and pet puppies!)

My bed.

My piano.

My pool table.

Day 170 of San Diego

Do you know what it feels like to watch one of your masterpieces get ruined right before your eyes?

I do.

Probably more than once, but my memory has plummeted down the crapper remember.

On Minecraft today, I was building a fireplace inside my home. Mind you, my home is made out of wood for the exterior. For the interior, I had a diverse range of material - from clay to wool. Now, I thought I built the fireplace correctly (I watched a tutorial, you see). Yet... of course I got it wrong...

Before I knew it, a quarter of my house went up in flames. I had no idea until going outside to check whether my house did in fact catch fire. Well, it did. Fast. I had to find material to climb up my house and knock out the flames. Yet it took time for me to open the gate, open the door, open the chest, grab material, run out of the house and through the gate, run to the wall on fire, and build myself upward to extinguish the flames (as they spread to and fro my home). It... was... HELL. The flame was random. It would pop HERE, it would pop THERE, it would POP INSIDE BEFORE IT TOUCHED THE EXTERIOR... I had to run inside, run outside, run everywhere with distressed fingers that shook madly... And finally... after wailing and shaking and extinguishing... the flames came to an end...

I went outside and looked up at the wall that was damaged. Three flights of it was damaged and needed dire repair. I almost gave up... I almost logged out of Minecraft to never log back in again... I was horrified by my stupidity. I was more ashamed with myself for acting like a child over a silly mistake on a VIDEO GAME. My mom heard me, Mason heard me (I called him to explain to him what I had done. He watched me repair my house through join.me), and I'm pretty sure the neighbors heard me because the windows and doors were wide open...

I was also ashamed that Mason saw my house damaged rather than complete. I wanted it to be a surprise. I wanted to impress him. Although he said he was impressed (ignoring the damage), I didn't believe him. I didn't want to introduce my house in a mess while upset. So, I asked him (after I fixed everything) if he wouldn't mind seeing my house again when it's furnished. He said he wouldn't mind.

I've been furnishing my house since 11. I finished homework around 10:30 and hopped on Minecraft in a jiff.

Before I go, I want to show you what my house looks like from the outside. You'll notice a barn on the right hand side. That's where I keep my horses. But right behind it is where the fire started.

Luckily, I caught it in time...

I adore my house. My masterpiece.

Day 169 of San Diego

I just finished watching a great movie called The Internship. I'm wondering if I wanted to see that movie before it came out, then forgot all about it. 

I'm glad my mom suggested it as I surfed through the channels! 

Today was a laid back Saturday. I totally forgot I have homework... DAMN do I have plenty to share for a whole room of students! Well, it's what I deserve. Once a procrastinator, always a procrastinator. 

Tomorrow... Yea... Homework day.

Gosh, imagine if I had a job... Yikes.

ENOUGH TALK ABOUT WORK! Enjoy a cute cat picture of Diana snuggling on my lap. :)

Day 168 of San Diego

GHOST ADVENTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111

Today was quick! At least, at school. I didn't have NUTR. That means, we're having our test on Monday. Yuck... Monday tests are brutal...

In SOC, my group's presentation went well. So many people liked my poster! They even complimented me on it! And my teacher told us that our poster will become an example for some of her other classes! Talk about feeling good for something you did! I'm proud of myself. :)

I came home and immediately jumped on Minecraft. I need 189 pieces of iron to complete my walls! But I've been searching through caves so much, it bores me quite quickly. I need to mine for iron ore in segments. If I do it constantly, I'll lose interest and probably never finish my last wall.

Alright! Time to brag a little... Here's my poster that I put together last night. :)

Day 167 of San Diego

I know, I know. It's passed my bedtime. But I was busy with Minecraft! There aren't enough hours in a day to play Minecraft...

My day was fine. Just another day. Except when I got home... I had some projects to finish. Like, putting together a poster for presentation tomorrow! My SOC group is presenting with the other groups on what we will be researching. I'm a little nervous... We didn't practice on what we are going to SAY... So... I guess we're just winging it and hoping for the best!

On the 13th (Friday the 13th, that is) our group is presenting our FULL presentation on what we discovered in the world of Music Videos that had to do with bodies.

After putting the poster together, I cleaned the crickets' cage and filled the cage with live crickets. I was going to clean Indigo's cage and add dirt to it (which I haven't done. I've only used a type of thin carpet material), yet my back was in excruciating pain.

I blame my period.

Or, as Mason would say, "I blame the schools."

Now, it's time to take a look at a snapshot I took from exploring a cave. I thought it was a magical experience. ;)

Day 166 of San Diego

Well... Yea... My day was okay. Just another day. 

EXCEPT I'M DIGGIN' THIS HEAT!!! 

I'm a little concerned for our summer, though. 

If it's already becoming 90 degrees by midday... then we have another thing comin'.

I didn't get to spend much time in the sun. I was too busy trying to find the right ring during lunch hour. A lady had a table set up for selling. She looked like someone who sold stuff at the Pike Place Market. It took me 25 minutes to finally pick out the perfect ring. 

I have a ring fetish...

I wanted to own every last ring...

Before NUTR, I hung out with Alex and his girlfriend. They dropped me off at NUTR and I waited for the teacher to teach. As I waited, I was staring intensely at my water bottles lid... I thought it read "Ass" when it really read "4.2.2." HAH! I seriously need to get my head out of the gutter...

Day 165 of San Diego

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA BONNIE AND TO EVERYONE ELSE WHO HAS A BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!!!!...

WHICH IS A LOT.

I don't want to spend too much time on this post. I want to finish other works.

Today was HOT! I was dumb enough to wear black skinny jeans. I'm surprised I wasn't burned through a couple layers of skin. I did stay out in the sunshine for a good thirty minutes. That was nice!

I'm hoping the last stretch of school gets over quickly. It's already feeling like SUMMER! It also feels like Summertime Sadness because everyone has to go to school and work instead of playing outside!!! Tear drop.

Well, let's finish strong.

Here's a silly comic I want to share with Americans. It gives a fair warning of why us Americans shouldn't be messed with... ;)

Day 164 of San Diego

HAPPY MONDAY!!!!!!!

Oh...

None of that?

Okay...

Hey, gang! I'm feeling good! Only because I got my homework done (finally), I'm able to hang out with Mason (finally) and I've finished one day out of seven for my diet! WHOO-HOO!

It was tough at the beginning. I don't have anything to eat that associates with a diet... We're not dieting people. 

We do love our fruits and veggies!

But we haven't gone to the Pike Place Market in a while... So...

I'll have to hit them up some time!

My school day was nice. The weather was warm, sun was out, blue skies and hardly any clouds. After ENGL, I ran into Omar and we relaxed in the sun, talking story for an hour. He then had to go to his car and I had to go to SOC. 

When school was through, the folks, grandma and I went to Lincoln Park. Mom and dad ran and grandma walked. I sat in the sun, finishing homework. 

Supposedly, all this week it'll be sunny and warm.

MY BODY IS READY.

Day 163 of San Diego

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL OF THE MOMS OUT THERE!!!!!!!!

My Mother's Day was nice. Of course, I wasn't celebrating as a mother, but I had fun celebrating with my mom and family. The folks and I joined everyone at grandma and grandpa's house. It was a drag trying to eat the yummy food because I had to track EVERYTHING!!! I have to track what I eat before the diet and what I eat during the diet. So, as I'm waiting to eat, I'm fumbling on the Internet trying to find the Nutritional Facts for each food. I just wanted to eat, man!!! Screw counting calories. I highly doubt I'm going to get any bigger... I can see myself shrinking, though. 

School tomorrow. Not excited. That means more due dates and a boring diet... 

I'm ____ THAT CLOSE to lying through the entire diet project. Yet I'm an awful liar... 

I guess I'll leave it here. I hope everyone spent time with their mom's.

LOVE YOU, MA! <3

Day 162 of San Diego

Today, I was worked. I have an at-home exam due on Monday. I decided to start it - and end - before the day was over. I knew if I waited until Sunday, I would be doomed. I have to plan my DASH diet by then and then start it on Monday. It's due next Monday.

I woke up at seven because I had planned for a long, busy day full of stressful homework. I wrote a three paged paper on Sociology of the male and female body and did a little bit of research on my DASH diet stuff.

Afterwards, I took a two hour nap. When I woke up, I played Minecraft, hung out with Mason on IMVU and now I'm watching a Titanic documentary. So far, it's amazing. What a tragedy.

Well, I'm going to end it here.

But before I go, I'm going to share a picture I took during my adventures on Minecraft. I might post more pictures later on if I keep finding awesome spots. Here's an awesome cave opening I found while exploring for iron ore:

Day 161 of San Diego

It's amazing how I want to stay up super late over weekends, and I can't last passed nine o'clock. 

I'm exhausted. I'll need to finish this post quick. 

Today was decent. I almost fell asleep in NUTR after a movie the class was watching abruptly stopped working. We were watching a movie called "Forks Over Knives." It's interesting so far! I hope we continue to watch it. But... my teacher has no idea how to work a computer...

Tomorrow, I have to start planning my DASH diet. I know, I know. I don't NEED to go on a diet, but it's for my NUTR class... I swear my teacher pulled the assignment out of his ass...

Oh well.

Tonight, I'll get my rest. I'll most likely look like Diana while she's sleeping - cute enough to cuddle!

Day 160 of San Diego

I just finished homework... My eyes are tired from staring into screens all day!!! I played Minecraft in between classes. I played Minecraft at home. But around eight, I shut it down. A headache was forming. 

Currently, I'm Skyping my very sleepy hubby. We are about ready to hit the hay and create some Zs. 

Today was cool. Like I said, I had fun in between classes with my Minecraft obsession. But in between ENGL and SOC, I saw Omar and hung out with him for twenty minutes. Ah, what a character. Much love to him. 

Afterwards, I played Minecraft, went to SOC, saw my favorite math teacher after class, played Minecraft some more, dealt with NUTR, came home...

You get it. 

GOD, ENOUGH ALREADY!

I'm calling it a night, you stalker, you. 

But first, check out what Mini Wheats looked like before they shrunk: 

Day 159 of San Diego

I'm not in deep crap with Mason. He actually forgave me... That same night. Or, at least, that's what I got from him asking me if we are still saying Goodnight to each other with a heart at the end of the sentence. 

My day wasn't superb. I was down in the dumps. I was ASHAMED. And confused. I couldn't understand why Mason wanted to even acknowledge my existence today after a thing like what happened yesterday occurred. 

But Mason keeps telling me that he's fine and keeps talking to me and continues to tell me that he loves me. 

He's acting as if nothing happened. 

Yet he did reveal to me how he felt about the situation. He also let me know that he let it go after a little. 

I wish I could let things go as quickly as he. 

I love Mason. I didn't mean any harm. But, he's right. It wasn't my mom's business what I told her. I am notorious, though, to tell my parents everything about people. It's in the genes... My family gossips like no tomorrow...

I just hope Mason's telling the truth on that he still loves me the same and that he, pretty much, forgives me. 

He even sent me a love song by the Bee Gees called "Love You Inside and Out." He told me that that's how he feels about me. <3

Hey! Has anyone seen a caterpillar yet? I have! It was black with orange spots. I hung out with him for a good half hour before introducing him to a nice, safe garden until running off to class. 

I can't wait to see them all over. They're too cute! And very beautiful when they become butterflies. :)

 

Day 158 of San Diego

You know how you're so upset, your heart feels like a rock? My heart feels like that today. It's beating hard and slow; struggling to circulate the thick blood through my thin veins. 

My life is a struggle right now. But I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm here to give you a reason why people should dislike me:

I talked about Mason to mom without realizing I hadn't muted him on Skype. I won't repeat what I said. It wasn't anything horrible. I was telling mom what Mason used to do that concerned me. But I don't know if Mason got that far in the conversation... He ended the call without me noticing. I read in the message board, "I heard what you said." 

I guess the Mute button on your laptop doesn't mute your microphone. 

Word to the unwise. 

I'm not going to defend myself and say, "Well, Mason shouldn't have been listening anyway!" That's stupid! I got busted. I deserve the punishment. 

I'm letting Mason have some space. I doubt he wants to talk to me.

I know I would be upset if Mason started talking about stuff I did in my past.

I'm not looking for forgiveness right now. I'm not looking for it for a couple days. 

I admit it. I deserve to be scorned down upon. It was my fault. I shouldn't have brought up the subject. 

You should have seen the look on his face when I peeked at the screen after I started babbling... 

On another note... Here are some Selfies with my cat Fluffy. Maybe these will lighten the mood:

Day 157 of San Diego

My Nutrition teacher told us that proteins are made up of chains of amino acids. Amino acid chains are decided by your DNA. My teacher then told us that every time we look at someone and notice their weight, their height, their hair color, etc., we are seeing their proteins.

Now, I'm tempted to walk up to a random stranger and tell them, "Hey. Your proteins are showing."

DU-DUM, TSS!

Hey, imaginary readers!

FELIZ CINCO DE MAYO, AMIGOS!

You know what I did to celebrate May 5th?...

Absolutely nothing related to Mexicans.

... Actually, I didn't party whatsoever...

In other news, I'm not feeling better. I'm in that type of mood where, "Gee, a lot of crap is hitting the fan. Should I SERIOUSLY care anymore? PROBABLY NOT."

Unless it's something terrible like my mom having an anxiety attack or Mason unable to come home.

However, I'm not saying I'm NOT pissed off at the situations.

I'm just trying to convince myself that... crap happens. I can deal with it the smart way (talk it out), or I don't have to deal with it at all.

I mostly talk stuff out because I feel if I don't, I'll have a burden on my chest. I also don't want anyone else to have one.

I may consider therapy in the next couple of days if my mood doesn't change.

Honestly, I think it's just trauma from leaving Mason. I didn't even cry when I left. Sure, I got teary-eyed, but shockingly I didn't bawl my eyes out.

I did a few days back. Maybe those tears resembled leaving Mason as well as dealing with the stupid crap I was dealing with that day.

I do miss Mason...

When I saw him for the first time in four months, it felt like we weren't ever apart. The memories of how I felt while being away from him dispersed in an instant. Those feelings didn't matter anymore. I wanted to feel new feelings; happier feelings.

I miss those happier feelings just as much as I miss my hubby.

Fields of Old

"This land symbolizes the rhythm of the people, as it was formed through generations of farmers shaping it with irrigation," says John Qu, a member of our Your Shot community. "It is a rare phenomenon of man-made beauty disguised as a natural occurrence."

Qu captured the photo of the Yuanyang rice terraces while traveling in China's Yunnan Province. "I've traveled to this place multiple times, purposely in the winter, when the rice terraces are flooded. I've gone through the entire area and observed that the light at sunset, with the reflection and high angle, would make the terraces look more like a piece of abstract art, yet with real trees and huts. The shot was taken from a mountain above. I waited a few days for the perfect moment."

Day 156 of San Diego

I... had... SO much homework today... I had to read a short story for ENGL, I had to read four stories for SOC (I'd call them long essays...), and I had to take care of six pages worth of questions for NUTR.

I don't really want to talk about what happened yesterday. Until this late afternoon, I began feeling better. I think I became unknowingly depressed from leaving Mason. I honestly didn't want to head back home. San Diego felt like home. I was having a great time there; going out to eat, taking walks - the weather was perfect, mind you. Although my mom was there for a business trip, I think she had a decent time as well. She was glad to see Mason. So was I, of course. <3

I hope the depression doesn't last too long. It's... pretty bad. I'm not sure if I'm acting this way ONLY because I'm upset I had to leave Mason. I didn't think it would be that traumatic considering we deal with leaving one another every time Mason's on Leave. I would figure I'm used to the back-and-forth situation. Maybe it'll take a bit longer...

I... don't have much to say about today... Tomorrow starts another week of school.

However, I do have a question... Why do humans assume weekends are "time off" days? I think they're more of "make up" days. We're too busy over the weekdays to finish everything, so we have to wait until the weekend (which is supposed to contribute to relaxation) to catch up. Thanks, WORK.

Goodnight!

Day 155 of San Diego

I don't feel right. 

My slogan lately has been "I don't need to become an experimental project to be the invisible woman."

I'm not feeling the love anymore. Society seems to be neglecting me; harsher than usual. I mean, I've always been the outcast. It's not new. But I would like the feeling to be less crude. 

I've been putting myself down. Telling myself that I'm ugly, worthless; a waste of space. Some people are treating me like that-one-girl-they-know "friend." They used to really like me, yet I suddenly became old news. 

What am I supposed to do? Go back to therapy? I don't want to go back to therapy for right now. I want to face my problems head on! Act like a goddamn grownup for Christ's sake!

Ah, whatever. This post is probably making people miserable. I'll end it here. 

Another random picture. Enjoy: