Day 1 of San Diego

Mason's smell lingers in my bedroom. His empty Coke can and unopened bag of chips sit on the upside-down lid of a stool. The leather couch sections still stare at the three televisions. But Mason's not here anymore... He left this morning at 10:55. 

Last night, we made our last moments as sweet and subtle as possible. The whole day was relaxing until evening showed up. Tension grew. Tears formed. We knew what was coming... We tried staying awake. But I can't stay awake past 2 AM without doing anything. Yet we didn't know what to do... We were trained on the fact that Mason was leaving the next day. However, we ended up going to bed anyway. 

We didn't fall asleep right away. We talked. We cried. We romanced. And then... we fell asleep in each other's arms. 

This morning, at 6 AM, I woke up exhausted. My body rejected this day. I wanted to sleep through it. I wanted this day to be nonexistent. I wanted this day to vanish and the next day to pop up with Mason still home. 

But that wasn't the case... 

He packed. Mom drove us to the airport at 9. I walked with Mason to the bag check-in station before having to leave. Nevertheless, I stood with Mason, holding him and crying with him. We didn't want to let go. I didn't want him to leave. 

After ten minutes, we said Goodbye. I went home and sobbed. I sobbed so many tears, at one point, I didn't know why I was crying. I was just... crying! 

Every time I looked at the Star Wars Lego ships we built, I remembered that day. Every time I did a specific thing, such as not grab something to eat, I would hear Mason's voice in my head telling me to eat. Every time I went upstairs, I waited for Mason to rustle under the covers of my bed until leaning upward, groggily smiling at me. 

But he's gone.

Now I'm in my empty room, on the phone with Mason. Fluffy snuggles beside me where Mason would be. I found a dog-tag on my bed's shelf stating an influential phrase excerpted from the bible. I never saw the tag before. I asked Mason if it was his. He said Yes and that, if I wanted it, I could have it. 

I'm not much of a God person, but the phrase was perfect for a day like this.