My boyfriend, Mason, had gone off to boot camp in San Diego, CA. Now, he works at his main base as a Marine airplanes technician. This blog is about my life as I wait for my love to come home.
HAPPY THREE YEAR ANNIVERSARY AND 20TH BIRTHDAY, MASON!!!!!!!!! <3
Today, Mason and I drove home. Again, the drive wasn't bad. And the weather was nice this time! We didn't have to worry about crazy sudden rainstorms with the rain coming down in bucketfuls.
We miss grandma Debra and Mason's dad Chris already. It's super chill in Oregon (at least, where Mason's family lives). Small towns I enjoy because of that reason. Everyone knows everyone and everything is laid back.
Mason and I celebrated his birthday/our anniversary by hanging out with his mom. After a couple hours, Mason and I ate at Spuds. But we ate outside on a bench on the beach. It wasn't scorching hot, yet the sun was shinning with blue, blue skies. Hardly any clouds.
Currently, Mason's playing Minecraft as I watch. He's building a fort.
I had too much fun yesterday to care about writing a post.
That's okay, because here I am to update!
(And pardon if I already have posts titled "Fourth Leave." I lost track, but will research on whether the title is already taken...)
I'm still having fun. But right now, I'm watching Mason's dad play Tomb Raider. Mason's building more Legos. I'm personally tired of building Legos at the moment. I'm angry at myself since my brain can't follow directions even when the directions are in front of me... I need a break, I guess.
Yesterday was cool. Mason and I hung out with aunt Amber, uncle Troy, and the kids at grandma Debra's house. Everyone gathered in Mason's dad's room with a cake to sing Mason happy birthday. He isn't 20 yet. His actual birthday is tomorrow.
SO IS OUR THIRD YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!
Today is going great, too. Mason and I spent quality time together in a hotel near grandma's house last night. This morning, we checked out and hung out with Mason's dad and grandma all day.
Tomorrow, we're hitting the road back to Washington.
Mason and I surprised his mom this morning. (That's why I never updated my blog on Mason's Leave in case his mom read my posts) She saw my car and thought something was wrong. She ran into the house with an expression of worry before seeing Mason, changing the expression to pure joy.
The reason why I didn't post last night was because I had to pick Mason up at the airport around 11:00 PM. And we were too excited to sleep! Although we had to wake up at seven... Yet we woke up at six, but stayed in bed until 7:10. Haha.
I drove us to Oregon. Almost four hours. It was a long and tiring trip. Thankfully, we brought along snacks. I needed the sugar to boost my energy. Why didn't we stop at any resting stations? Because I was being ignorant and wanted to do a straight shot to grandma Debra's house. I sort of regret it, but we made it at a decent time. 2:00.
I was moody all day. My blood sugar was low and the lack of sleep killed me. I didn't have an appetite. Of course, I forced myself to eat.
Mason and I were going to reserve a hotel room tonight, yet we changed it to tomorrow. We don't want to drive anywhere for a while...
Mason's finishing up the second Hobbit movie. I watched it with him until I couldn't hold my head up. I just had to see the dragon and the Elven King because I think the actor is good looking. <3 Now, I'm satisfied and ready for bed.
WHY... IS IT SO... FRIGGIN'... HOT... JESUS CHRISTMAS...
I mean, granted, it's great! That means summer is going to act like summer.
BUT I WASN'T PLANNING ON SWELTERING MY ASS OFF TODAY.
Yet again, thank you nature for bringing us this beautiful weather. <3
Today was pretty sweet. Like yesterday (although I didn't share this information like a knucklehead), I played GTA V. I was waiting for Angie to sign into IMVU. I don't remember telling in my last post, but I was curious if Angie was dissing me - if she would rather speak to someone else other than me. Three hours passed before Angie sends me an email, telling me she's online. I sent her a message prior asking if I could have a word with her once she signed in.
I was blunt. I told her what Dave had said to me about the man and her entering a room Dave was in after she had said to us she was calling it a night. She told me her friend texted her, asking her if she could talk to him about his relationship issues. That woke her up and she agreed to talk to him on IMVU. I believe her.
In other news, Dave has lost it. Completely. Psycho-bonkers-crazy lost it. He joined Angie and I in a public chat we were hanging out in. He gave us this dramatic speech over what Angie did and how cruel she is and how stupid he is for loving her and how he killed his dogs because of how upset he is. I informed Angie that he didn't actually kill his dogs. But... I don't know for certain. That's why I didn't call his bluff. I didn't speak as Angie and him barked at each other. Until Dave brought me into the situation. I told Dave (nicely) to keep me out of it. He continued his rant without including me further. He kept saying how he's going to upload pictures and wanted Angie to see them. I guessed they would be the pictures of his "dead dogs." Yet he never uploaded anything. He never got back to us. He said he wanted five uninterrupted minutes and... that was it. Angie and I don't have a clue what happened to him. He's still in the room he met us in. We left shortly after his silence.
I seem to get into the most craziest crap when on IMVU.
A Fragile Livelihood
In this picture from the July 2014 issue of National Geographic magazine, a girl tends goats in the mountains near Shiikh in the Somaliland region of Somalia. Though big farms make headlines—a subject explored as part of our Future of Food series—small farmers still produce most of the food in Africa. Both are crucial for the continent to be able to feed its own growing population—much less the rest of the world. (By: Robin Hammond)
You know what sucks? Taking your jokes too far. Not in the sense of being too racist or sexist or whatever (even though that sucks major dick, too), but what I'm talking about is when you think you're invincible and no matter what you say people will think you're funny. Yet once you crack that soon-to-be last joke and NOBODY laughs - they kind of do that awkward smirk like, "Just smile at her. Let her think she's funny." - your indestructible stature falls apart like a high school senior's grades. In order to be REALLY funny, you must know the code of when to STOP being funny. Also, you must know timing. Cut into some of your jokes. For example, if I'm describing a situation that didn't turn out how I thought it would, I could put it as, "I yelled at the guy, "I THINK THE BRIDGE LOOKS MIGHTY UNSTABLE! I WOULDN'T CROSS IT IF I WAS- oh he did it.""
I think you guys get the picture.
Another thing that I think is dumb is cheating. Whether it be on a friend (cheating in a light sense; the friend would rather hang out with somebody else besides you yet not share that information) or on a partner. To all of the cheaters in the world, how about you grow some balls and tell your mate that it's over and you've moved on with someone else.
I'm not complaining about this because Mason cheated on me. Dear God, my post would have been undoubtably vulgar. I'm complaining because people who cheat over the Internet are A-holes. Of course, people in real life who cheat are definitely A-holes. But Internet cheating A-holes are slightly different because they TRULY believe they can, and are more likely to, get away with it. Sad, but probably true.
I hope my Brazilian friend over IMVU didn't cheat on our friendship. She did cheat on her - who I call them - "lovers" with multiple men, however now I'm starting to worry I'm being cheated, too.
To sum things up, I was talking to my Brazilian friend (her name is Angie) while also communicating to one of her ex-"lovers," Dave. Dave was chatting with Angie, too. We all were in our private chat rooms. Dave and I discussed to one another on what Angie was saying and how vaguely she was saying it. Finally, she called it a night on both of us. Supposedly... She was still signed on, but Dave and I figured she did fall asleep. Until Angie entered into the public room her and Dave were talking in. She was accompanied by a man. Dave was immediately kicked out of the room. Angie messaged Dave and told him the man was her "brother" and he wished to speak to her.
The thing is... How would she know her "brother" wanted to talk to her if she went to sleep?
Both Dave and I started biting our nails. I guess I'll have a talk with Angie tomorrow.
In the meantime, I'm going to sleep. Time to mimic Fluffy's pose of pure slumber.
I did chores today! Look at me, being all responsible from 9:30 to noon.
I vacuumed and did some laundry. Then I finished some of my normal chores like dishes or cleaning the cat box. Afterwards, I took a shower and became lazy. That's when I started playing on my computer and watching movies.
I had another dream last night. I won't add a title to it because most of it I forgot and I'm not willing to think tonight.
It was about a cloud that loomed over a specific river or lake. A few friends and I hung out at the lake until I felt uncomfortable due to the lingering black cloud. Suddenly, the camera zoomed out and I noticed the cloud was like a tube pointing downward at the lake. Astonishingly, the cloud flashed and turned into a huge UFO, beaming up the people down at the lake. I was afraid for my friends and decided to follow the UFO into outer space and towards the mother ship. There, I found my friends and a lot of weird stuff happened and that was it.
It was another Sunday... I didn't do anything different... I was going to work out, but then I realized my dad would be bothering me as I did it. I like to work out alone...
Since nothing happened today, I would like to brag about the fantastic never-ending dream I had of Johnny Depp and I!
Hanging Out With The Depp:
Remember when I would add titles to my dreams before talking about them? Good times. Goooood times...
Anyway! My dream wasn't crazy sexual or explicit. It was actually very easygoing. And the best part was... every time I woke up to toss and turn but soon fell back asleep, the dream would continue and Johnny would be standing by my side as if waiting for me to teleport to my fantasy world again. <3 What a sweetie, eh?
I can't remember details now. But I know we were like two peas in a pod. I met him at a party, I believe, and we hit it off immediately. Afterwards, we constantly hung out.
Whenever I would wake up, a small amount of fear would overcome me, telling my brain that once I fall back asleep, it'll be a whole other dream! Lucky for me, it wasn't like that at all.
The dream was a bit different, but Johnny still hung around. The setting would change, yet our feelings and memories stayed the same.
The last dream I had of us was during a dinner scene. We went out with a few other people. We became flirtatious and started making plans to see each other a bit more privately.
BEFORE EVERYTHING STARTED GETTING GOOD... my mom woke me up to talk about Safeway and Costco groceries. I'm not mad at her. I'm glad she asked me because we had NO good food in the house.
We pretty much had no food period.
So that's it! That was my day. Tomorrow... Well, let's just see what happens.
I finally watched a Ghost Adventures episode after months of wondering why they weren't being broadcast on Friday nights. They're being broadcast on Saturday evenings now. Why? Hell if I know. I'm just glad I watched an episode and enjoyed scaring myself with every little creak my house made as Nick, Zak, and Aaron took care of angry dead people.
My Saturday was chill. I slept until eight. I probably could have slept another few hours, but I noticed Mason already awake and felt the desire to hang out with him. <3 We Skyped until three-ish before Mason started playing games with his dad. We jumped on IMVU and are still hanging out together.
Tomorrow might be another Sunday, or it might be something new. I'm thinking about working out. If not, I might play some video games with Blue if he's available. I also have to keep up on my chores to assist my mom around the house. I believe I need to kill off sixteen hours of chores other than my frequent ones (cleaning the cat boxes, putting my clothes away, etc.). Once I kill off that time, I'll be allowed to buy more crap! I already have items in mind.
WELL... You know what? I'm done... I'm very tired. I'm ready for bed. If only Mason was home. Then we could be snuggling right now, falling asleep in each other's arms. <3
Here's a picture I drew today because I was bored. I traced an IMVU picture of my avatar. Ta-Da!
Sushi lovers, the way to turn your frown upside down is by eating sushi.
And that's what happened to me today.
I had a dramatic evening last night with Mason. I'm still feeling the tension but I'm slowly letting it go. I'm more worried about him being upset than myself being upset.
I changed the mood when the folks, me, uncle Jay, aunt Jill and cousin Elise all went down to my favorite sushi restaurant.
OH! And to clarify... nobody ran a marathon today. I was confused! Tomorrow is the marathon. GO MOM, DAD AND UNCLE JAY!!!!! WHOOT!!!!!!
Yet we did have sushi. Me gusta. <3
Afterwards, we split ways. I'm relaxing with my Brazilian friend and Mason over IMVU.
The last bit of presentations were nice. Everyone was happy they finished them. None of them stood out as bad. I think our group could have prepared a little more, yet... well... you guys know the story. Nevertheless, people were still complimenting on how great our presentation was. I would let them in on the secret that our group was just as last-minute as they were.
When everything was wrapped up, our teacher handed back our Exam Two scantrons. She said she hasn't finished grading our essays that went along with our Exam Two, but hopefully she'll send an email or something, telling us what our grade was on the essay. I was worried I got a low score on the scantron portion... Our teacher announced that a lot of people failed... Our grade average was a B-. I suddenly started thinking about the questions I didn't have confidence on and told myself those were WRONG. I was one of the last people to receive my grade and...
I GOT 100%!!!!
At least, on the scantron...
I don't know what I got on my essay. I worked hard on it. I think I got the full 200 points.
I mean, COME ON! I received 200/200 points on the last exam! I can surely do it again!
After the teacher passed out grades, I had to say goodbye to her. People were giving her hugs and gifts. I simply asked for a hug and she gave me one. She was charmed by our respect towards her. She was a super fantastic teacher. I would have her again any day, any time. Prior to leaving, she asked, "Have you ever taken SOC before?" I told her I didn't. She said to me that I should continue taking SOC because I was excellent in it.
I know, I know. ;)
I told her I would think about possibly making SOC my Minor. I'm planning on taking more SOC classes later on at either my next college or at my current college. THEY ARE INSPIRATIONAL!
Once I got home, I waited for a while... but when mom was done with work... WE BOTH WENT TO THE PIKE PLACE MARKET!
I've been sick and tired of meat for the past couple of days... I needed some veggies and some fruits (and some candy) ASAP.
It took us about forty minutes to buy all that we needed; veggies, fruits, candies, incense... too much good stuff. :)
Before arriving at home, mom and I picked up some beef jerky at our cousin's butcher. When we DID arrive home, I made a plate of goodies; a carrot, a pear, some bits of jerky, raspberries, and a glass of milk. It... was... HEAVEN. I was so stuffed afterwards. YUM. <3
Tomorrow, I'll be eating more delicious foods. Mom, dad, and uncle Jay are running the Rock & Roll marathon in the morning.Once they're done, though, they'll be heading my way but towards the sushi restaurant we often visit. I'll be there before them since they'll have to take care of traffic...
SUCKERS!
Anyway... I'm beat, honestly. I'm ready to go to sleep and sleep in! HECK YEA!
Goodnight!
Beribbonned in Bolivia
"At 14,000 feet in icy winds this llama was completely at home," writes Esther Buttery, who submitted this photo, taken on Bolivia's Laguna Colorado salt lake, to the Traveler Photo Contest. "It was a different world for me. I'd like to think that we shared a moment."
I feel relieved. I feel like a thousand pounds of anxiety, guilt, and frustration has lifted off of my shoulders. I can safely say that I am doing well. Spectacular, actually. :)
Before today I was judging Mason, believing he didn't want to Skype me anymore. His gaming minutes turned into hours and he didn't stop even when the clock struck nine. For you outsiders, we generally Skype at nine until ten. But for a couple of days now, he had been going over nine o'clock to play video games. I panicked. I thought Mason was suddenly falling out of love for me. I thought he didn't care as much as I did about Skyping!
Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't build up these unwanted feelings to soon blow up on Mason. I needed to tell Mason how I felt and how we can clean up the mess.
We've decided to calm the texting during work hours. We will have conversations after work; during IMVU and over Skype. Of course, we'll text each other a "Hello" or a "How are you," but if we waited on conversing until later, we would have so much to talk about!
Also, Mason realized how badly it hurt me with him going overtime on our Skyping time. He agreed to watch his gaming, yet also asked if we could be more lenient on the time. Say, eight to nine. Or ten to eleven. Or... something longer, like two hours. I said that that sounded like a great idea.
I expressed to him my fears and worries. He understood why I felt that way, but assured me that my assumptions were dead wrong.
Thank the heavens.
Mason even cleared fears that I didn't bring up. He simply said them and claimed they weren't existent and I felt refreshed.
I'm glad I suggested to talk to Mason about what was going on in my mind. I was worrying about our relationship. I love Mason very much. The last thing I want to do is leave him. <3
Besides the discussion between Mason and I, I took my NUTR "final!" I feel like I passed. Nowhere close to an A grade, though. Which is fine. I just want to pass with a B. A C is okay. But I prefer a B or an A.
After test taking, I had lunch with Mason's mom. She missed me and I missed her. Sid especially missed me. The dog practically knocked me over he was SUPER HAPPY! He kept jumping on me and whining and spinning in circles. Such a spazz. But we love him.
After lunch, I came home. I took a walk, talked to my Brazilian friend, then talked to Mason. We're still on Skype. Mason's falling asleep. That's fine with me. I'm just glad we got things taken care of.
Anyone seen The Mighty Ducks; the 1992 movie with Emilio Estevez? I've heard of it, but never had the privilege to watch it. It's on currently. I started it from the beginning. It's been playing for fifty minutes now and I've already laughed several times. It's rated kind of low on IMDb which sort of shocks me. A 6.3 rating sometimes means the movie isn't super amazing, yet worth watching. Family Friendly, one could say. And The Mighty Ducks is definitely a classic. I can already tell I'll like this movie to the end.
Today, I was supposed to take a NUTR "final." But before I drove on the freeway, my friend from NUTR text me, telling me that the teacher had canceled the test for today and moved it to Wednesday. I turned around in a huff.
I swear to God, our NUTR teacher is the most indecisive, clueless teacher I have ever had to deal with... He needs to be fired. Seriously.
Our test was originally set on Thursday. However, my teacher thought it would be great if we finished the test on Friday (last Friday). Then people started complaining because they had other tests to take care of on that Friday at the same time as our NUTR test. Our teacher moved it to Wednesday. No complaints for a few days. But of course, there was that one kid who admitted he/she had another test that day around the same time as our NUTR test. Our teacher moved it to Tuesday. YET AGAIN, someone complained. So, to fix the chaos, our teacher split the test for two days - we could either take it TODAY or tomorrow. I was going to take it today to get it done and over with. BUT HE HAD TO CANCEL IT. Now what are the students, who needed today to take the NUTR test, going to do?
The rest of my day, I hung out at home and goofed off on my computer. I watched another World Cup game: Brazil vs. Mexico. I was rooting for Brazil. My Brazilian friend on IMVU was watching the game, too. We both went back and forth on how disappointed we were that Brazil wasn't scoring. Nevertheless, nobody scored. We were relieved.
Okay! I'm ending it here. The movie is getting good!
Falling Water
"The shafts of light in [this] canyon [were] one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen," says Peter Lik, who submitted this photo to the National Geographic Traveler Photo Contest. "It was a surreal feeling being surrounded by the towering cliffs. The only way I could capture this special moment of weeping walls was after an incredibly torrential rain. I knew I had to get to a shallow portion of the river to unfold my tripod. I was drenched from head to toe by the falling water. Mist and rain covered the camera, but I fired a few shots. As I stood in awe of the scene, the sun broke through for a few seconds and cast God’s rays into the side-lit waterfall."
Today was SUPER short. At least, at school. I didn't have ENGL or NUTR. But in SOC, I had to watch a presentation on sex toys. What an interesting subject!
I thought I was going to be in trouble since I was late. I don't know how 9:30 AM traffic is in my area. I judged it wrong... I was stuck at the start of an exit in which I typically fly through. It was raining, and that usually means people act stupid. I almost got into two accidents because of "cautious" drivers.
I arrived in class three minutes late. I figured the classroom doors were locked. I swear, I thought I heard someone say once a presentation starts, the teacher locks the classroom doors so the presenters aren't interrupted. Thankfully, they weren't locked. I sat my ass down in the back of the class and payed attention to the sex toys PowerPoint.
The hilarious part of the day was when one of the presenters passed around candy from one (or several) sex toy shops. They were penis-shaped candies! I was horrified when some of the classmates would take a handful of the dick-shaped candies and shove them in their mouth... When the candy was passed to me, I immediately passed them to the next guy. I couldn't stop staring at the girls who took a handful. I kept thinking about how... they could... possibly... you know... like dick in their mouth... Actual dick.
And then, when a presenter said, "Whoever comments on this presentation first wins free penis-shaped candies!" and a blonde, preppy chick in front of me SHOT her hand up like it was her destiny to shove more dick-shaped candies down her throat, and the presenter threw the candies at her and she said her comment.
Ri-DICK-ulous.
After class, I waited for three o'clock to roll around. That was when the World Cup match between USA and Ghana started. I watched the entire thing! It was intense! I didn't think I would be into soccer! Yet, I will still claim American football as my favorite sport. No questions asked.
CONGRATULATIONS USA!!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow, I have my NUTR "final." I haven't studied yet. I'm planning on waking up early, about eight, and studying before leaving at eleven to school.
I'm sure it won't be excruciatingly tough. Honestly, I want to get it done and over with.
And that's what I'll do!
Distant Oasis
The frozen, fissured surface of Jupiter's moon Europa, seen here in a colorized mosaic image from the Galileo spacecraft, hides a liquid ocean that may hold all the ingredients needed for life. (By: Galileo Project/NASA/JPL and Ted Stryk)
Well, tomorrow is Monday. Thankfully I don't have to wake up at six. I get to wake up at eight! YES!!!!
Tomorrow, the only things I have to do is be present at SOC for presentations. We only have one to watch. Then, I'll be home by noon. After I'm settled at home, I'll prepare for my NUTR final.
I don't know what else I could do. I was thinking of working out or helping mom around the house. She would appreciate it if I did stuff other than sat in my famous purple chair and played on my computer for 16 hours.
Right now, I'm chatting with Mason. We're avoiding sleep by talking about far-fetched scenarios like finding an object in which could stop time. Therefore, would could rob banks, buy big ass mansions, steal video games, and spend as much time together as we want!
Reminds me a little bit of GTA.
Oh! Here's a hilarious picture that sums up my life when dealing with group projects. I couldn't believe I found something so perfect. Thanks, iFunny!
Yea... It's almost midnight... But this post won't be long.
My Saturday was somewhat relaxing. I had to deal with more drama than I intended... I didn't think today was going to be so dramatic. Left and right; I was crying here and there...
It's too much trouble to explain everything.
To sum it up, I had to tell Mason my feelings (which was a struggle) We got into a small tiff, yet it slowly resolved itself once we made a deal - I wouldn't get upset over silly things (him hanging out with friends, talking about the Marines, etc.) if he started to talk more about what he was doing and how he felt, etc. I liked the trade. Made things easier.
I also had another argument with my father. Nothing huge. I won't get into that... All I'll say is, it wasn't my fault that Angel jumped up on the chair to lick the milk out of my glass.
ALRIGHT. That's it. I need my rest... Pronto.
Fireworks Over Jerusalem
"This photo was taken at Mount Herzl, Jerusalem, during the celebration of the 66th Independence Day of Israel," writes Your Shot member Dor Kedmi, who arrived at the location about an hour before the fireworks display started. "I was looking for the best angle to capture them. Fortunately, two soldiers stood in front of me and helped me a lot in capturing the moment."
For a Friday The 13th (with the addition of a full moon), today was a very nice day. The ending could've been better, but I'm just going to stick to the positives.
In the morning, I had a short conference with my ENGL teacher to see if I can dismiss myself from the final (because my grade is a decent grade) He talked to me about my solid B and how if I got a B or C on my final, my solid B would stay the same. He asked if I would like to take the final. I said No. He said that I was liable to skip the final and leave the class with a B. I told him I was fine with that. I left his office with a silly smirk of pure joy.
Afterwards, I prepared for the SOC presentation. I had, I believe, two free hours. I wrote down what I was going to say on which slide AND wrote down what everyone else was going to say in case they forgot.
The presentation could have gone better in my eyes. Yet the classmates enjoyed it (they laughed at our jokes and funny information) and the teacher let us know that we received an A. She also told us that the previous quarters' groups wouldn't do as good of a job as we did with the music video subject. I was VERY proud of my teammates.
I was more proud of them when a random student walked up to us and said our presentation was really good.
When I came home (after NUTR), I was able to relax until 5:30. At six, the folks and I joined the family at Jay and Jill's to celebrate Willow's birthday.
I won't go into detail what made me feel uncomfortable at the party, yet I will admit I felt like an outlier.
BUT ANYWAYS! No negativity because today, at school, was surprising!
My brain is mush. I'm on my last string. My teammates are turning out to be more like children than adults. I have to constantly babysit them and communicate to them to give them updates on what is happening with the presentation.
Today, the only time I ate was at 6:30 AM. At 2:00 PM, I was able to eat again. I didn't have a lunch. Not even a snack. I was so busy with trying to organize the group project that I had no desire of eating. Of course, my body and brain were telling me to eat, yet it was as if I couldn't. I'd rather finish my work than eat.
Around 11:30 AM, two out of three group members joined me on finishing the PowerPoint (Garret - the PowerPoint maker - had sent it in the morning but informed us that the conclusion was unfinished). It took us almost an hour to finish the PowerPoint and discuss about which slides are devoted to whom. I thought I was late to NUTR. Thankfully, I wasn't.
At 2:00 PM, I arrived at a local sushi restaurant. My folks and I often visit it during dinner hours or to celebrate. Everyone there knows us. I walked in, said Hello to everybody, before asking if I could sit at the bar. The sushi bar guy, Alex, greeted me happily. I told everyone that I hadn't eaten until 6:00 AM and that I was ready to grub! One lady brought me miso soup and told me it was on the house. Then she brought me tea, a glass of water, and Alex gave me a small bowl of Edamame beans. I was very thankful for their generosity.
I was the only customer from 2:00-3:00. Alex and I chatted while watching the World Cup.
CONGRATULATIONS TO BRAZIL!
After a late lunch, I went to therapy.
My sleeping habits have also gone out the window. Last night, I was paranoid that Garret wouldn't send the finished PowerPoint until today. Like I wrote earlier, that fear came true...While trying to sleep, I would shoot awake and check my phone to see if Garret sent an email with the attached PowerPoint. I did this from 10-11:30 PM. By midnight, I fell asleep. At 5:00 AM, I shot awake, checked my phone in a panic, then realized it wasn't 6:00 AM. I would fall back asleep and SHOOT AWAKE again, checking my phone for the email, but seeing it was 5:30 AM. I fell back asleep again until six.
The presentation is tomorrow. We're the last group to present. Guess who's worried?
Me.
Warm and Fuzzy
A cygnet peers out from its mother's wing at a local pond in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. According to Your Shot member John Halvorson, the adult swans arrived in February, during an unusually bad winter. "I followed them daily through the mating cycle and the nest building," he says. "When we had a brutal series of ice storms and there was little for them to eat I took them cracked corn. I became a trusted friend, so when the chicks hatched I was allowed to sit close by and photograph the adults and the newly hatched chicks. I stop by frequently to check on them. Of six eggs, four hatched, and today only two survive. They are beautiful birds."
Yesterday, right off the bat, began chaotically. Mason and I were in a tiff with each other over him not expressing what was on his mind (which he doesn't often). Having horrible anxiety, my imagination brought up scenarios of what could be on his mind and how I would react to it. Trying to erase dramatic scenes of yelling and possibly breaking up with him, I moved my thoughts to my finals.
That didn't help with the anxiety. It upped it a bit.
... More like a lot...
I was panicking over the PowerPoint my SOC teammate was supposed to finish last Saturday. But constantly, he kept telling the group, "I'll get it done tomorrow." Tomorrow would arrive and he would again tell us, "I'll get it done tomorrow."
To back up, SOC's final is a presentation on each team's research on subjects - like music videos, sex toys - that prove our society is entangled in sexually representing/stereotyping the body. Our group researched different genres of music videos. I chose Pop.
Anyway... Yesterday I was worried that I would have to tell my teammate, "Look, you obviously can't handle creating a PowerPoint. Let me take over." I... couldn't handle creating a PowerPoint in such a small amount of time. I was beyond stressed. I AM beyond stress. My health is depleting by the DAY.
I was so stressed yesterday, I gave myself "anxiety poops." That's right. The type of poops that shoot out of your ass, making every kind of farting noise. The kind of poops you don't want anyone else hearing because you know DAMN WELL they'll record your pain, show it to their friends, and become a top hit on YouTube for about three weeks.
Avoiding that tragedy, I tried to poop most of it out at home. Yet I had to leave.
I should have stayed and tried harder...
I had to poop SO BAD while driving to school. Oh my God... I don't think I've ever felt that strain before! My brain was about to give-up. It kept telling me, "Just CRAP already! I don't feel good! If you crap now, you won't have to worry for the rest of the day!" But I was yelling back, "Then I'd have to turn around and grab new pants! That'll make me late for class!" And my brain fought back, nagging, "Dammit, I don't care! At least you have new pants at home!" The struggle continued for a good ten minutes.
When I drove on campus and found a parking spot, I literally didn't slow down much while parking. I saw an empty space, went for it like a torpedo, and parked the best parking job I have EVER parked during the time I've parked in that general area. It was beautiful!
Without any time to celebrate, I shut my car off, grabbed my things and walked fast to the nearest building. My brain repeated, "Go to the bathrooms in the closest building. Go to the bathrooms in the closest building!"
The S-building appeared and my brain shouted, "THERE! I bet nobody goes to the S-building bathrooms! There isn't service in that building! PEOPLE NEED SERVICE WHILE POOPING!"
I rushed inside the building and took tight turns around corners. But as I was walking to the bathroom, I heard footsteps behind me. I peered over my shoulder and it was a girl. I suddenly couldn't breathe. I said to myself, "Dear Jesus, I hope she doesn't follow me into the bathroom..."
She does.
She had to blow her nose five billion times to unclog one nostril, therefore I needed to buy time. I strolled over to a sink and turned on the water. I carelessly splashed water on my face; rubbing my eyes and my cheeks - before taking a paper towel and drying my face. As I did so, my brain and I started debating again. I couldn't make up my mind on whether or not I should find another bathroom or wait until the girl left.
I chose to wait it out.
I didn't know what else to do other than walk into a stall. And that's what I did. I found an empty stall, far from where the girl was, and slowly closed the door. I slowly locked it; slowly took off my backpack; slowly removed my keys, iPhone, and sunglasses; slowly placed the items in my backpack; slowly unbuttoned my pants; slowly sat on the toilet; and silently waited.
It was dreadfully awkward for me to sit on the toilet in silence. Whenever I know someone has been sitting on the toilet for a long time without hearing them pee or poop, I figure they're pushin' one out. Although I did need to push one out, I didn't want the girl to assume I was. I tried to loosen up my bladder without my intestines letting loose, yet that didn't work. Everything wanted to happen at once. So, I waited.
I waited. And waited. And listened. And waited.
FINALLY... WHAT FELT LIKE THE TRANSITIONING INTO A NEW ERA... the girl leaves.
And I let it all out.
After I had done my duty (L.O.L.), I washed my hands and left for ENGL class. The anxiety still clung onto me like a desperate girlfriend, but I tried to relax and let myself know that nothing was out of control yet.
... It was only compact as sh**.
I was still worrying over what Mason had on his mind. He wasn't texting me, which I figured was the sign that he didn't want to deal with me. That made me feel worse.
During a group discussion, a few of my friendly teammates asked if I was okay. I definitely didn't hide my anxious facial expression. I told them the truth (without much detail) and they wished for me to feel better.
Thanks, Cierra and Dean. <3
After class, Dean pulled me aside to ask what was going on. I told him everything - from the beginning of the SOC group project to me and Mason's tiff that day. He agreed that my life was sucking currently. And I didn't feel offended because he was right. I felt better once complaining. I didn't have "anxiety poops" for the rest of the day.
Carrying on to today, Mason admitted what was on his mind. He's worried about his Leave possibly not being approved. I don't know why it wouldn't be. He's a hardworking Marine. People like him! They respect him! They should give him a break to see his family and friends.
The teammate who has been working on the PowerPoint did finish it. Yesterday evening, to be precise. Today, the group and I went over the PowerPoint to "beautify" it. An hour wasn't enough time to satisfyingly get through all that we wanted to say. Yet I'm praying the PowerPoint creator knows what he's doing and heard what we discussed and can finish the completed PowerPoint by tonight.
If not... he will feel my wrath...
Today, I also heard AMAZING news on one of my favorite games, LittleBIGPlanet. Media Molecule has scheduled LittleBIGPlanet 3 to be shelved in November! Here's the trailer! BLUE (my PS3 friend since 2009 who plays LittleBIGPlanet with me) AND I ARE TOTALLY STOKED!
I am awfully tired, guys. I swear I'm sleeping solidly at night, but I always wake up utterly exhausted as if I ran 26.2 miles unconsciously.
My parents would be proud of me to see that I posted something about running if they read today's post.
Anyway, I'm so tired, I keep getting off track.
I BLAME THE SCHOOLS.
Actually, I sort of do. I want this quarter to FINISH. DAMN! It's not that hard to tell your students, "Listen... I'm not going to grade anymore assignments because we have finals next week. It would be dumb of me to give you homework. I mean, what kind of teacher would do that?"
Every. Teacher.
I have a SOC exam due tomorrow. I haven't finished the last bit of it (which is a one-paged essay) I'll probably do that tomorrow as I wait for classes to begin.
... That phrase sounds really familiar...
Did I say that in yesterday's post and didn't achieve what I wanted to?
Whoops!
I think I'll end it here... Not much to say...
Hope everyone either finished their finals or are working on them now, because seriously people... dealing with another week of school this close to the end of June is ridiculous.
BUT... The more assignments being handed out, the more assignments being graded.
That's what I would tell myself every day if I became a teacher.
... I would probably be the worst teacher if that was my motto.
Dive Sight
"I was diving off a live-aboard dive boat named Febrina in the Vitu Islands in West New Britain, Papua New Guinea," writes Your Shot member Matt Lasky. "We were diving our second of five dives for the day and found this friendly turtle at about 22 meters [72 feet] that was happily swimming around the divers, checking us out. There was a large school of jacks closer to the surface, and I was fortunate enough to be below the turtle and see the jacks swimming in the opposite direction."
All I want to do right now is NOT type a post. What I REALLY would like to do is to talk to Mason because lately I've been feeling deprived of his attention. Maybe this deprivation is enhanced because I'm on my period. Maybe it's enhanced because I'm stressing the Hell out over finals. Because, honestly, my SOC presentation is doing more damage than any other finals. I might have to take over the PowerPoint because everyone and their mama seems to have something come up where it delays them into progressing the project.
Thanks, guys.
Now hurry the heck up and finish the PowerPoint already.
Today... Just another Sunday. I'm pretty pissed I have school this week. I'm so done with school, there aren't any words to describe my done-ness. We only had ONE break this quarter. ONE. Are you serious? This spring has been GORGEOUS and we've only had ONE BREAK to enjoy it.
Then again, there are the weekends.
BUT THE WEEKENDS FOR ME ARE MAKE-UP TIME.
Thanks, college.
Now hurry the heck up and get over already.
Okay... I think that's all I want to say. I just want to pay attention to Mason. No IMVU. No movies. No anything. Just Mason.
Light in the Afternoon
"The town of St. Magdalena, Italy, sits at the base of the Dolomite mountain range, with an amazingly beautiful view during the afternoon hours," writes photographer John Bragg.
Willow's graduation party was today. There were a few new family members. I didn't completely converse with them, but I said Hello to them. The parents and I sort of felt awkward. We kept to ourselves most of the time. I was having fun relaxing and eating ribs, but I wanted someone to connect with.
The folks and I stayed at uncle Jay's and aunt Jill's house from two to 6:30. After Willow opened her presents, mom and I realized we had to feed Angel. I was glad mom remembered. That meant we were going home!
Currently, I'm watching a Cops marathon while hanging out on IMVU.
That's it!
Sulking Tulips
Your Shot contributor Cheryl Bezuidenhout captures this photo at RoozenGaarde in Washington State. "It was the last weekend of the Skagit County Tulip Festival, which [the gardens] hold every April," she writes.
"It was a rainy morning when my family and I arrived, but the rain held off as we made our way around the gardens. These tulips were unusual in that all the others in the garden were upright, perfectly formed, and vividly colorful, while these seemed to be sulky and past their best, drooping and heavy from the rain. The original photo is of pink tulips, but I converted it to black and white. I felt the lighting and moodiness of the flowers to be the most important message of the image."
Ah... Friday. Hello, Friday. I've been waiting for you all this week. Ever since Sunday.
My Friday was subtle. ENGL was more boring than ever. The group I usually get together with had to come up with final exam questions. Apparently, the final exam for ENGL will be very individualized. We'll be able to choose two essay questions provided to us (created by us) and write an essay on each. We have to connect two or more stories to both questions... Great.
The worst part in ENGL class was smelling the most foul stench any human feet can produce... The kind of feet that are stuck in UGG boots without any socks. I guess the girl sitting next to me scratched her foot by sticking a hand in her boot, and the hot, rancid smell of stinky feet punched my face in the dick! It was SO horrible, I had to turn my head away from her to try and gasp in fresh air! I thought I was about to throw-up! After a solid minute, I could finally turn my head back around and face my group again. I will never... EVER... wear UGG slippers, boots - whatever - without having socks on... EVER.
SOC was pretty fun. We didn't do anything. The teams huddled up and discussed about the PowerPoint presentations. One group member in our group couldn't make it. Yet the important person, Garrett, did show. He's the guy building the PowerPoint. I gave him ideas on how to organize the PowerPoint slides and what to include, etc. We spent thirty minutes on talking before leaving. The teacher didn't even mind. It was sweet!
So, in my spare time, I sunbathed. And let me tell you... it was nice.I ALMOST fell asleep. But I'm glad I didn't. I would have had drastic burns on my face and arms and possibly a heat stroke. No me gusta.
NUTR was another individualistic class. For thirty minutes, we went over notes. For the rest of the class, our teacher had us schedule a fitness plan for someone who worked six hours per day. My friend Gretchen and I busted out the assignment and left in a hurry.
FRIDAY! YOU ARE HERE! LET THE WEEKEND BEGIN!
... As well as the homework...
Also, I want to shout out to my cousin Willow who I sadly didn't get to see graduate today. WE'RE VERY PROUD OF YOU, WILLOW! How time flies.
Where the Antelope Play
"We were driving around the Savute plains in northern Botswana, searching for a group of lions that had killed a very young female impala a few minutes before," writes Your Shot member Chris Schmid. "After [we'd been] observing the lions, a group of impalas got my attention. A young male was jumping around just a few meters away from the lions that had just killed one of its kind. The contrast between life and death made this moment unique. The other impalas were observing the lions, but this young male didn't care one bit about them. He was just enjoying being alive."
I went to therapy today. Took care of a few burdens that lifted weight off of my chest.
But now I have new burdens.
I won't speak them.
All I'll say is I hope my cousin Willow has a wonderful graduation tomorrow.
Goodnight.
Dubai Sunrise
"This photo was taken on a flight to Egypt, when we were flying over the city of Dubai," says Kevin Wu, a member of our Your Shot photo community. "I've never seen such an amazing view. The city seemed to be surrounded by clouds."
My day was okay. I'm dreadfully tired... I thought I had decent sleep last night, but I think I'm more than just physically tired. I'm mentally tired, too. I'm stressing over finals, I'm stressing over last-minute assignments... I'm trying my hardest to keep my grades up, yet sadly I don't know my grades constantly, only in NUTR.
I did have some fun in between SOC and NUTR. I hung out with Bryndis. She's graduating this quarter and moving to Iceland for a year (I think) for schooling. But she'll be back in the states soon enough! Hopefully time goes by quickly. I'll feel just a tad bit lonely without her...
I'm a little glad I get to cut this post short. Not a lot happened today, and I'm somewhat happy about that. I need relaxed/less emotional days more often... I need to stay sane for my final exams!
But before I go, I want to share an inspirational video. It may only impact women, but I'm sure some men might understand the same problem. Enjoy:
In this episode, I rant about working on a final paper and getting the lowest grade ever in my ENGL class. Are you ready? Same here...:
Our ENGL grades are on a scale from 0-4. Four being an A. Zero being an F. My in-class essays have gone up from a 2.3 to a 4. I have never gotten anything lower... until reviewing my grade for my final paper...
A 1.7, ladies and gentlemen. You read that right. A low C for my FINAL paper.
Here's the reasons why I'm pissed...
1) I worked very, very, VERY hard on that essay. I put my whole heart and soul into creating the BEST paper my teacher has ever seen! For two days, each day consisting of about three or more hours on writing the son of a bitch, I had thought and memorized and researched until my brain swelled up.
2) My grade was low because my sentence structures weren't... shall we say... what my teacher was expecting. How in the Sam Hill were my sentence structures WORSE in a typed essay than in a written essay? I feel as if I sound like a ten year old when writing something out rather than typing something up. When I type up a document, I feel like a full-fledged scholar. I've obviously done well in the past when typing up essays. That's why I got an A in ENGL 101, supposedly the toughest ENGL course.
3) The general fact that the FINAL... F.I.N.A.L.... paper had the lowest... L.O.W.E.S.T.... score besides my written essays has scarred me more than it probably should. Because here I am, telling myself I type better than I write, yet I'm proven wrong on one... stupid... assignment. Sure, this one horrendous grade on one paper doesn't mean that I'm a terrible writer. It only means that... well... I sucked on that one assignment.
4) My friend Dean got a higher score than me - only by a few points, though. You want to know how long he worked on his paper? ... Wait for it... Two hours. HOW...? WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?!
I've been angry about my paper since 9:30 in the morning. I talked to my teacher about it and even HE said he was shocked over my grade.
Maybe he should have allowed us to turn in a rough draft before sending in a FINAL ONE! GOD...
Anyway... I'm done complaining... I'm tired and I deserve my rest...
My dad apologized for what happened yesterday; a family fight that started because of a scratch on the white leather sofa. My dad's anger started with the scratch. But it enhanced by me tossing my stuff on the ground in a specific way when he told me to move my items so he could position the blankets on the areas of the couch that could get scratched. He accused me that I had a problem which sparked my anger due to the fact that I was tired of his constant irritation over - in my eyes - small issues. I yelled at him and he yelled at me for yelling at him. He accused me of more things. Then mom got involved and my parents started yelling at each other like a pack of livid wolves. I sat in the background crying.
For an hour, the fight was intense. Nobody wanted to even look at each other.
The day ended with mom and I in the backroom and dad in the front.
Today was the day of revelation. My dad pulled mom and I aside after work. He apologized for what he accused and what he did and for his sudden anger. Mom and I honestly couldn't understand why my dad got so upset. He explained what had happened through his childhood memories.
I'm glad everything has simmered. I was expecting to ignore my dad for weeks on end.
Now, I'm hanging out with Mason over Skype. I'm very tired... I definitely need my rest for tomorrow. Why? Just because of school... It's draining these days because summer vacation is only an arms length away.
I can't wait.
Swimming for Supper
"On Phuket, Thailand, monkeys [inhabit] the mangrove forest and tourists and locals come to feed them bananas and nuts," writes Narong Rattanaya, a member of our Your Shot community. "The monkeys swim and dive in the water while they wait for the food."
I will rise up, my friends. I will rise up and defeat my demons.
Riverside Blooms
"The Nakdong Riverside Yuchae Festival in Busan, South Korea, is an annual event that I'd never been to before," says Your Shot contributor Scott Rotzoll. "So when a notice appeared in a local magazine, I made sure to put aside the time to visit it. There really wasn't a lot of preparation for this shot. There were canola flowers blanketing the riverside as far as you could see, dotted with people. My main focus was to use the bridge to frame one side of the photo, with one or two points of interest within."
