Day 17 of Leave

Happy almost New Years!!!

... Did I already say that? Deja-vu...

A GLITCH IN THE MATRIX-

Ah, you knew that was comin', didn't you? I'm so hilarious... And practical!

Today was another... well... lazy day. Mason and I were thinking of going up to Lincoln Park. I guess there's always tomorrow!! Maybe we won't stay up until 5 in the morning watching The Office and eating ravioli spaghetti crap again.

WE'LL SEE!!

The YEAR IS about to change up a level so... we might celebrate... with some Full Throttle and Jones Soda cans... and Xbox... aaaand IMVU.

Until we're bored... Then we might go to bed at whatever.

So... 2013 resolution? Hmm... Possibly ceasing the action of biting my nails. I'll even go as far as putting on FAKE nails so my REAL nails could grow underneath!!! Let's see how that goes, eh?

Happy New Years, y'all! Stay safe and keep your liver clean!

Day 16 of Leave

GO SEAHAWKS!!!!

The family had a football party. I went to go see Mason. We resolved our problem thankfully. I didn't want to hold on to this grudge...

We didn't do anything today. Super lazy day. Mason slept pretty much the entire day. So I let him snuggle me while I farted around on IMVU.

We watched some Pewdie, Mason is going on his Xbox to play with Borderlands 2 (I'm guessing) and we'll be eating din din soon. Then once that is taken care of, we'll be finishing The Walking Dead. I'm... probably going to cry again... Haha.

Now I'll be signing off! Going to watch Netflix!! Maybe Borderlands will be played later.

Peace!

Day 15 of Leave

I'm home. Alone. For the second time from the past two weeks. Mason isn't with me because yesterday and today we were fussing. I'm an emotional wreck right now and I feel as though nobody cares. I made an appointment with my therapist for Wednesday at 3:30. I'll be able to get my feelings out there.

I don't particularly like sharing how I feel anymore. People don't like what I have to say. So why say it? No matter how many times you people ask, whenever I tell you what's wrong, you guys flip out as if I'm some maniac not shunned inside a ward. Maybe, instead of pestering me all the time with your questions of "What's wrong?" or "What happened?" etc., if you figure out that I'm upset (because I show it off pretty openly) and I'm not so Chatty-Cathy, then please don't ask. If you ask, you're not going to like what I'm going to say. I'll either say what is ACTUALLY on my brain or I'll constantly say, "I don't know. I don't know" even when I DO know. If I want to talk about it, then I will. And if you want to be nice enough to listen, I'd really appreciate it.

I just... hate it how you people react so NEGATIVELY towards me nowadays. It hurts my feelings even MORE. All I want is love and attention and REASSURANCE that everything will be okay. The only person who is helping me is my therapist and she hardly knows me.

So... everyone... please take it easy on me.

But... enough about my problems... Let's talk about today.

Besides Mason and I, I went home around 3:20ish to get ready because I and the folks were heading down to grandma Gains' house to pick her up and take us to the Spaghetti Factory. It was a wonderful dinner together and once we were full and ready to go, we went back to grandma's place and opened up a few presents. She loved all of her owl stuff. She does look like an owl person to me.

Well, about 15 minutes later, I passed out on the floor. Lately I haven't been getting good sleep because Mason tends to take over the bed. I couldn't tell him to scoot over because 1) it's his bed and 2) he'd whine about it. So, I practically made his wall my snuggle buddy. I got real close and personal with it...

Like, I would have to push on the wall so I could turn over. I had the space as wide as my laptop. That's not a lot... At all.

I'm glad I'm little.

Tomorrow we're having a football party at my place. I don't think I'll be here for it. I might be with Mason the whole time. We... have to talk some things through...

God, and that's the hardest job for me to do right now...

Wish us luck.

Day 14 of Leave

Since we didn't do much today - other than Mason going to work for 4 extra hours and me on my computer talking to idiots on IMVU, I guess I'll go ahead and share some memories.

Let's start with family day at the Marine core museum. We were walking to Starbucks together (yes, they have one on base) and Mason was escorting me (I had to be on the left side since the right side is the saluting side). All of a sudden, a higher class SGT (I believe a captain) came out from Starbucks and IMMEDIATELY afterwards, as he got closer to us, Mason salutes to him like he should. I think he said, "Good morning, captain." and that's how I figured what rank he was. Once the guy was gone, I say to Mason, "Dude... that was totally awesome!" and he goes, "I know!"

Then on graduation, we got Mason a hot chocolate. Just from ONE hot chocolate, he was tweaking out. He had to hold it back of course, but his knees were jiggling and he'd want to talk about everything! It was cute. And very funny. Over one hot chocolate. One.

OH! And... this one is pretty funny too... The same day (graduation), we went to this shop that has military clothing and accessories. We took this elevator to go up and down and when we were going down, Mason tried to sneak in a good kiss. It was a bit surprising because it had been so LONG, you know?? And I didn't know if he would be like that until after a while! Well, I thought there were cameras around (though there wasn't) and I rejected it. But right when the elevator came to a stop, I kissed him on the lips while the door opened, letting a few newly graduated Marines have a look-see at our smooch, before I left the elevator, having Mason walk away by himself. He said he blushed so hard. Hahaha!

This one isn't a memory but it is super hilarious and I need to share it! It happened last night while Mason and I were passed out. I went to bed way before him; around 12:30. I woke up from Mason's sighing. He sighs really, really loud as if he wants to say something. So, I moved him a bit, to see if he would quit and he would somewhat. Then, couple minutes later, he'd do it again. I'd move him some more, he'd stop, prior to doing it some more until out of the blue, he mutters, "Kill!" I freaked out a bit... but I had nothing to worry about because apparently, while Mason was in boot camp, he heard two drill instructors chatting about a recruit and at the end, one of the drill instructors said, "Kill!" as in "Cool" I'm guessing. And yesterday, as Mason was working, Hal and them were making fun of that saying. So... I suppose Mason talks in his sleep now. After he said "Kill" and laid his elbow on my face, he hacked really hard and moaned, "Ouch." That's when I woke him up. And what I mean by waking up, he SHOT awake!!! It startled the HELL out of me!

Thanks, boot camp.

Anyway, that's about it. Mason is asleep at the moment because... we were bickering because... I've been having mental shut downs lately... I guess that's a new thing for me now like how he has headaches all the time now so... I should be the good girlfriend and snuggle up next to him and tell him I'm sorry.

God, I wish I wasn't like this anymore...

Medication - you look better and better each time...

Lake Garda, Italy

Twin siblings playing in Italy’s Lake Garda drift by Castello Scaligero in this Kodachrome picture that appeared with a 1968 National Geographic profile on the country's "Land of Lakes." The castle's crenelated battlements date to the 13th century.

Day 13 of Leave

Mason and I woke up at 7 so Mason could get ready for work. I got to sleep in an extra 45 minutes since I was already half way decently dressed and everything I brought over was packed and ready to go.

It was cute taking him to work this morning. I told him to have a lovely day at work and he told me to have a lovely day at school (even though I didn't go to my college because I didn't know which English book to buy...). We kissed, we hugged, I popped the trunk open for him to take out his things and he was on his way.

We only got 3 hours of sleep last night because we could NOT shut the heck up. Every time we get on a subject that's interesting, we'll keep talking about it and talking about it and most of the time, we'd switch to ANOTHER interesting subject. Like the last subject, we'd talk about the NEW subject for hours and hours. We were tired, don't get me wrong. But we just... had so much to SAY at 3 in the morning!!

I didn't take a nap. I thought I would but... once I'm awake for a few minutes, I am AWAKE. I feel fine, actually. I'm surprised I'm not being a little jerk because I got hardly any sleep. Maybe I slept so deeply, I got my 8 hours of rest in just those 3 hours. That would be a blessing.

For dinner, after Mason did NOTHING for his job... we went out to eat at Spuds. Yummy! I got my infamous clams and fries and Mason got his chicken and fries. They FINALLY gave us some ranch. Though it was only one tiny thing, at least it wasn't tarter sauce. He wouldn't have liked that since... each time we order and SPECIFICALLY state we would like ranch instead of tarter... they still give us 2 friggin' tarters.

But hey... you know what??? I love them anyway. Been going there with my grandma J since I was a tiny tot. Can't hate. Never will. Always respect. <3

Day 12 of Leave

Hey y'all. At Mason's house. He's playing Borderlands 2; the one I bought for him. He digs it!! It's hilarious and looks pretty fun. He also downloaded The Walking Dead. Even though he knows what's going to happen, he still downloaded it to play later. I'm thinking of buying it too for the Hell of it.

Today was EXTREMELY lazy... We did say we'd go to the zoo but umm... yea, that changed real quick after we woke up at 1:30 in the afternoon... SO! We stayed home, played video games, ate some food and watched The Office. Around 4, I cleaned up, got half-dressed (still wearing my PJ bottoms...), before we went to Mason's house to play more games.

Tomorrow morning, Mason starts his recruiters assistance job. Same goes with Hal. They're doing similar jobs together. I'll be the good "house-wife" and take him to his work around 8-8:15 AM. Then I might head home, change my clothes, prior to hitting up my college and getting the books that I need for my newest classes. I need to figure out which books those are first so I am able to determine how much dough I'll be spending...

Kind of excited to start my English class! However, I have a feeling I'm going to get murdered with all of the essays we're possibly having to write... If the subjects are AT LEAST semi-interesting, I believe I can make it.

-Sigh- I just want to become an author already...

Day 11 of Leave

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND AN ALMOST NEW YEAR!!!!! <3

Mason and I got up early after staying up way too late last night. We hurried our packing, said goodbye to dad, jumped in the car and took off for Seattle. Grandma Debra and her friend Marsha (whom we picked up once getting to Vancouver) played Christmas music while Mason was passed out in my lap and I watched the weather go from rainy as Hell, to snowy, then finally to just grey clouds looming the skies above.

When we got home, it was 2:10 already. The Xmas party at grandma J's house was supposed to start by 2 but everyone waited for us. Mason dressed into his Blues, I looked fancy as well, prior to me picking him up and rushing to grandma's house.

Right after getting through the front door, everyone stood up and cheered! They gave us hugs and they welcomed Mason home; it was wonderful. I knew they'd do that.

We had ham and passed out gifts for us to open. I got, once again, some awesome gifts!!! I even got a sodaSTREAM! That thing is LEGIT!!! Oh my God is it cool! We tried out Orange flavor and it was delicious. Everybody enjoyed it.

We got to play White Elephant (our family version). Mason got a crank light (where you spin it for 30 seconds and it lasts for 10 minutes) and I got a Seahawks talking pizza cutter. Whoot!

Mason talked story a bit more with some members, he was made to eat a few pieces of yummy food before having to go home around 6 to be with his mom. They went to go see a movie at IMAX. 2 hours later, I opened up my presents at home (I GOT A SMARTPEN!!!!! AAAAHH!!!! SO FRIGGIN' AMAZING!!!!), fixed my LBP2 problem and Mason opened up HIS presents once getting to my house! He loved them :) He's playing Borderlands 2 at the moment. When I'm through with this post, I'll be playing my lovely LBP2!

Peace out, home dawgs!

Day 10 of Leave

Why are we at number 10 already?! That doesn't please me... Why couldn't have him being gone be this quick? Irony, right?

Well, today was fun. I woke up to uncle Troy telling us to get up and we hurried into Chris' room where there were piles of presents for everybody! We all sat around it while grandma Debra passed the gifts out. I got a BUNCH of stuff and loved every single one of them!!! I got a blanket from auntie and uncle (snuggling it right now), I got PS3 points from Chris, I got jammies from my honey <3 and so much more.

Once that was through, everyone took a nap. I don't know about Chris, but when uncle and auntie and the kids left, we ate our brunch and hit the hay...

Which made us late for uncle Troy's and auntie Amber's Christmas party at their mansion...

Only an hour!! Nothing dramatically serious!! We didn't miss much!!!

Mason dressed in his Blues, I felt utterly under dressed, we got there and the entire family greeted us. They were ALL over Mason - cheering and congratulating him and giving him hugs. Grandma Deb Deb gave me a hug since I looked a bit out of place... in which I was. I felt a little awkward that they all hounded Mason and I was just standing there... waiting for my turn... Haha.

Before the games, we were handed a sheet of paper containing the lyrics of a few Christmas songs. Uncle Troy grabbed the remote to play the song of choice until... what came on was Super Sonic. I thought, "Oh... Whoops!! Wrong button, guys. You're playing the wrong-"

And all of a sudden, Troy and Amber BUST out DANCING like young people at a drunk fest!! They were shaking their butts, going all nuts in the middle of the living room with EVERYONE watching; we were DYING!! I was dying!!! I hardly could watch because I felt like I was beginning to cry!! They kept going and booty bumping and shaking their bodies for a good 5 minutes. When it was done, all I could think of was, "Mother of God!! They thought that up at the last second?! How awesome are THESE guys?!" Yet, they let us know, they planned that to happen ALL last night. No wonder uncle Troy kept saying, "SUPAH SONIC!" while we were opening presents... Hahahaha!!

Finally, after laughing our asses off, we got to sing the songs. I lipped most of them. Mason didn't sing either.

Then came the game playing!! We were supposed to figure out Christmas stuff based on the subjects BASED on the LETTER that was given. We sucked the first round however when I played with grandma Deb Deb, we kicked BUTT!! We didn't win anything, though. That's okay - at least we did good; 3 to 13.

We stayed at the house for a good 2-3 hours. Mason was being bombarded with questions and comments and advice while I strolled around, finding people to talk with.

Now I am watching Mason get angry at Black OPS because his team is sucking at Capture the Flag. His farts smell really bad and I am going to possibly be bored after this post. Tomorrow morning/noonish, we're leaving for home base. I have a ton of presents to open!! Whoopie! Hopefully my family got stuff for Mason. I don't want him to feel left out...

Pfft, he's a Marine now. Why on Earth would he be left out of something???? He's going to be attacked when we're hanging out with MY family. He says he'll even dress up in his Blues again. At least I'll have better clothes the next time!

Merry Christmas everybody. I love you!

Day 9 of Leave

Mason's playing Black OPS II at the moment. It's pretty sweet!! A bit on the futuristic side. The guns are really weird and the maps are super unique; I kind of dig it! Yet... that doesn't mean I'm going to spontaneously start playing war games... Hehe. They're still a little much for me.

In the morning, grandma Deb Deb and Mason went out to do last minute Christmas shopping. I got to sleep in :D I needed it. I wasn't looking forward to being Mrs. I-Want-To-Destroy-The-World again... I'm glad I'm in a better mood. Jesus, I'm getting sick and tired of being depressed while with Mason!! Sometimes, I can't control it...

Speaking of Christmas shopping, I need to buy Mason more gifts!! Sheesh, I only have two :/ I wonder how many he got for me??? I hope not an ungodly amount - he should save his money!!!

... Same as for myself but STILL!! ... :)

I'm having a good time down here in OR. I missed it. It's nice to bullcrap with Chris again and cackle with grandma Debra and share stories with the auntie and uncle.

They BOUGHT me stuff!!! I didn't expect that. Now I feel sort of bad for not buying them anything... I was mainly focused on Mason, haha. Well!! There is always next year and the year after that. I have plenty enough time to get everybody everything they deserve!!!

I better get a job soon... Hehe.

Charleston, South Carolina

An autochrome image captures the vibrant foliage at Charleston, South Carolina's Middleton Place, billed as the home of America's oldest landscaped gardens. The picture was originally published in the August 1940 issue of National Geographic.

Day 8 of Leave

I'm in OR right now, hanging out in the guest bedroom while uncle Troy, auntie Amber and the kids talk with Mason. I was in the same room as uncle Troy and dad and Mason yet they started talking about military stuff (Mason's boot camp "war stories"...) and I really didn't want to be a part of that so... now I'm in here, blogging.

I feel like... I'm dying... very slowly and painfully. Mentally wise, though. Last night I couldn't fix the issue with LittleBIGPlanet 2 so I stayed up, got horrid sleep, just to fix the issue and it was never resolved. I don't know what's wrong with it. I sent Playstation Network an email explaining the problem and I hope to get a reply back very, very soon. My anxiety is screaming! It wants that issue to be done and over with!

Soooo... because of the lack of sleep and my period, I am in the deepest, darkest hole. Depression is latched onto me right now and I am latched onto It. I'm thinking terrible thoughts, I just want to sleep and not eat (which I am doing...)... I don't know... I want to go away :( I feel like a pest... I feel trapped! I feel like I can't show my emotions or express how I feel or what's wrong with me because everyone (besides Draven) doesn't understand so they stop listening. They just think I'm some over-dramatic idiot. Weirdo. Freak!

Even Mason is like, "What the Hell?"

...

I'm telling you, I don't get People. See... What I do is I isolate myself when I'm in a bad mood. You think that's strange? I don't think so because I'm doing it for others; not only for myself. Since I'm in a rotten mood, I let others enjoy their happiness while I sulk and try and get myself to feel better alone. I don't want to ruin their day because I'm being a bad egg in the bunch. However, people come up to me with open arms, stating that they want me to join them - it would surely make me feel better.

Or so they thought... 

When I'd show that I'm not in the brightest mood, everyone scorns at me like I'm some alien from outer space. They'd tell me to suck it up, be happy, smile once in a while, etc. But... wasn't it THEM whom wanted me to join????? They wanted me to become part of the fun though I'm not in a good mood???? How would I randomly become in a better mood if they start to judge and tell me what to do??? That's why I isolate myself... So people can have fun as I fix myself and they don't have to worry.

I just feel like a failure...

I'm so lost.

I don't know what to do anymore...

What am I doing with my life and to those I love???

Signal Hill, California

A forest of oil derricks makes a ghostly backdrop for a conversation in Signal Hill, California, in 1941. The city is located north of Long Beach in Los Angeles County.

Day 7 of Leave

YAY!!! WE SURVIVED!!!!

Of course. Derp.

Now when I have great grandchildren, I'll show them the movie "2012" with John Cusack in it and tell them, "I survived that."

Boom.

;)

I'm at home right now after waiting in my car for 4 hours at the Marine core building. I drove like a demented driver who didn't care about anyones lives on the road because we were almost late getting there. Mason had to be there at 3. I missed the turn, had to U it, drove almost 80 AAAALL the way down to South Center and MADE IT... at 3 o'clock sharp. I thanked my mom for sharing her "crazy lady" driving genes.

Why did Mason have to stay for 4 EXTRA hours? Well, Hal was 30 minutes late... The staff SGT didn't like that very much, scorned at him for about 25 minutes, called up SGT. Nelson (who recruited them) and Nelson gave Hal a punishment by having him write a 1,000 word essay based on being punctual or... something like that. Mason couldn't leave since... they're "battle buddies". He told me to go home multiple times but I kept saying, "No." I don't know; lately I've been feeling the need to be with him no matter what - even if it means I'm waiting in a freezing car for 4 hours where I could have easily drove home, came back when he was done, and drove us back home. However, I made the choice to stay. I didn't want Mason to deal with that crappy situation on his own (He did have Hal but... still!).

I got dinner for Mason and I at McDonalds (which was an easy minute away from where I was parked), ate my dinner, slept, turned on the car every hour for 10 minutes of heat, then slept/rested some more. Until Mason was finally finished. We hurried to his house, I watched The Office with Moira for an hour as Mason packed up his things (we're leaving for Oregon tomorrow morning via train), and now we're at my place :D Mason is able to spend the night (his second time) and once I am done with this post, I'll fix my LBP problem and we'll play it! Whoot!

 

Day 6 of Leave

I'm home. Ready to explode tomorrow.

Psh, I feel like exploding... Not in a good way, either.

I feel lonely again. All of the emotions that I felt during Mason's absence has flooded back into my brain... It's horrible! I hate the emotions that I felt while he was gone! They were confusing and agonizing; not what I want to deal with all over again.

Today, Mason dressed in his Blues to go see Lily and her son, Ashton. I dressed up as well. I got to meet Aaron, Ashton's proud dad, and he seemed pretty excited. I got to hold little Ash a couple of times. I was nervous, I will admit. I'm a clumsy broad - I didn't want to accidently flinch and the child goes flying.

He is REALLY cute. While Mason held him, I got teary eyed. It was BEAUTIFUL! Crazy enough, he's an uncle now. He whispered to Ash, "I'm your super cool uncle." Haha.

We only stayed for an hour. I don't know why. I would have liked to stay there for a couple more hours. Sheesh, I didn't want to stop holding Ashton! Hehe, he's adorable :) I'm attached to him already.

I'm too darn snugly!

Currently I am sitting in my purple chair texting Mason and updating this blog. It's weird texting him now... I feel like I should be sending him letters, not texts :/ I guess it's going to take a while until I'm fully adjusted to him being home... It's like a friggin' dream, man. A dream that's come true but... you almost don't want to believe it because if you wake up, and you realize it was all an illusion, you'll feel like complete ass. I don't want to feel like that anymore!!!

...

I don't want to sleep in my bed tonight. It'll feel just like when Mason was gone and I'd lie there... thinking. That's all I would do. I couldn't sleep, so I'd lie there and ponder. I'd daydream, I'd cry; that bed is a sad memory of what it was like during those couple of months.

Change is difficult. That's why, depending on what it is and/or the situation, I don't like it very much.

Day 5 of Leave

Last night, Mason and I watched Pewdie. This morning, when we woke up from the annoying 8 o'clock alarm, Mason goes right ahead and states, "Want to watch Pewdie???" Dude! I wasn't even half awake yet!! Maybe he liked The Walking Dead series so much? :D

It's really crappy out right now... A few minutes ago, the front door FLEW open from the wind. That door is hard to get open in the first place... You really have to tug on that sucker. Probably someone didn't close it all the way.

I'm extremely moody thanks to my monthly gift. At least I was prepared. However, it still stinks. I'm going to sleep rough tonight... Bleh. Mason's playing Halo 4 at the moment. I got on IMVU earlier to buy Mason his PVT Marines outfit and update our pictures. Now everyone can see who I date. Hopefully they won't mess with me now!

Tomorrow I'm heading home around the evening time. Parents said I could bring May May. He seems cool with it. Now we can explode together!! ;)

I'm still praying for snow. Where's my blizzard, mother nature?! Maybe she doesn't want to brew one yet since I don't know how to drive in one...

Well... yea! Tomorrow, when I am home, I will save the pictures and video and upload it onto here. Be sure to remind me!! You know my memory isn't the best... :P

Docks, Ohio

In a circa 1928 autochrome, ships approach a vast dock to unload millions of tons of iron ore near Ashtabula, Ohio. The photo was published in the May 1932 issue of National Geographic.
Photographer Jacob J. Gayer served as a staff writer and photographer for the magazine from 1921 to 1931.

Day 4 of Leave

It snowed a couple hours ago!! Yay!! Even though everyone else hates it, I DON'T CARE!!!! It makes me happy. :)

It's SO... COLD. I should have brought a coat. But Moira is letting me borrow this giant fluffy one. I don't mind looking like a puffed up black marshmallow. I'm usually self conscience on that stuff. Yet I'd rather not get frost bite ALL OVER.

We're having roast for dinner! Yummy. Mason, Moira and I just went to the T-Mobile store to fix the supposedly canceled service on Mason's phone as well as getting him a new phone. It's that Windows phone. Pretty nice.

On Thursday I'm going to hang out with my parents for "the end of the world." They want to be with me but I want to be with Mason. However, I don't know if Mason wants to be with his mom even though his mom doesn't believe it'll happen. I don't think it'll happen either. And if it's going to happen, we can't stop it so... if it is what it is, then it will be.

Lazy day again. Slept well once more. Watched The Office. And when Mason fixes his phone and isn't angry that he can't slip in his old SD card, we'll watch Pewdiepie together. I'm going to show him The Walking Dead series. Friggin' love that series.

OH!!! By the way!! A couple weeks ago I got all of my Ambiance stuff back!! They never deleted them! I just had to find them and download them again. I even got back the sound that I recorded myself. :) Now I need to upload them on my computer so when I get a new phone in the next few year, they won't disappear again.

Day 3 of Leave

Still at Mason's :P

I think I'm finally kicking this colds butt... We got 12 hours of sleep last night!! Whoo-hoo!

No snow, yet. I don't think it'll start until tomorrow. Supposedly it'll start by then. Will it stick? Not sure. But I am wishing so!!!

Mason and I defeated Halo 4. Halo's pretty fun! I thought it was going to be lame because... well... I don't know - some people are WAY too obsessed with that series. Sometimes, I don't deal with things that are over-used. I like being unique :D

I'm watching The Office right now. God, I miss watching it all the time. I need NETFLIX!!! They have... 8 seasons? I only bought... 4 seasons I believe. And they are stashed away... And I'm too lazy to go find them.

I know you all are anxious about the pictures I took/video from the graduation and other events HOWEVER... I want to spend as MUCH TIME AS POSSIBLE with Mason. Time will go quickly. I don't even want to SLEEP. No matter how tired I am, I will literally make myself stay awake and gaze at him and snuggle him and love him. <3

I love you Mason. My hero. My Marine.

P.S: Maybe when I'm home with better connection, I'll be able to upload this great picture of Mason's Marine photo. He looks so good!

Seesaw, Korea

Young women play on a seesaw in Korea in this 1931 image.
As chief of the foreign editorial staff at National Geographic, photographer W. Robert Moore had a hand in nearly 90 magazine articles. He retired in 1967.

Day 2 of Leave

Well... I'm still not home. Surprised? Me neither. :D

That means I haven't uploaded the pictures and/or video... Sorry... But I'm having too much fun. Is that such a crime?

Haven't hardly been on my computer. That's why this blog post came close to the NEXT DAY. I almost forgot...

We hung out at Alex's until 5. By then, we still weren't doing anything. Really, just hanging out and relaxing... which was very nice. :)

Finally, we got to see Sid! How excited was he? Utterly. He was literally attacking us. It was hilarious! That dog's a character. However, Shakespeare isn't around anymore... He joined the man upstairs. Moira had to put him down. His age got the best of him.

Nothing occurred either at Mason's house. A bit of cleaning, shopping, nacho-eating and talking story with Mason's cousin and girlfriend, Gabby.

Still shocked Mason is home. I think we all are.

Today was stormy. Tomorrow, a possible BLIZZARD!! Totally waiting on that. Yesterday there was sleet coming from the sky!! Man, been a while since I've seen snow! Glad I'm seeing it again.

P.S: Can't upload an awesome picture of my honey... so... it's going to be Nat Geo for tonight.

Paris, France

Parisians walk past lottery and vermouth advertisements on the City of Light’s Boulevard des Italiens in 1936. The poster for the national lottery says, "Try Your Luck."
Photographer Maynard Owen Williams had many adventures as National Geographic’s first foreign correspondent, including reporting on the opening of the tomb of Tutankhamun in 1923.

Day 1 of Leave

I'm still at Alex's however, I'm sick so I'm staying in Mary's room; typing up what has happened for the past two days.

Let's start with graduation:

Graduation was AMAZING. Like, it was almost beautiful, you know? But at the same time, it was completely badass. It was an hour and 30 minutes long. They marched, they posed, they saluted - they showed off. It was totally cool! I can't explain it! I'll have to upload the stuff when we're all relaxed and I'm actually home saving my camera's pictures on the main computer. I took video on my mom's phone. I'll see if they can be easily emailed.

At the end, the drill SGTs dismissed each PLT they drilled and the recruits screamed, "AYE AYE, SIR!", backed up, turned, then hugged everyone near them. We went down onto the Parade Deck to find Hal and Mason. They both looked so handsome! Again, I found Hal first before Mason. Mom took pictures, we grabbed Mason's stuff and headed for the car.

I got to give Mason his 2nd BN coin AND his necklace right when we got to the car. It felt good to give him back his key. Right after we left the base, we went to a pizza parlor. Every time we are out in public, Mason and/or Hal get handshakes or compliments thanking them for their services. Though they haven't done anything yet, it is still awesome that random people will come up to them and THANK them. I feel so special being with either of them and they're in uniform. I'm sure they feel even MORE special, of course.

When pizza chow-down was over, we left for the airport. Moira didn't leave Cali until today. She thought we were doing the same. But like Mason said, we just wanted to get home and get as far away as possible from the boot camp.

Crazy enough, remember me telling you guys that we (mom and I) had to cancel Mason's ticket to come home since he wrote in his late ass letter that he already purchased his ticket? Well, apparently, Alaskan Airlines canceled BOTH tickets - his ticket that HE purchased AND the one my mom got for him. So... we had to miss the 4:30 flight since there wasn't a seat for Mason. Instead, Mason called these SODO people and asked for them to change THAT "canceled" flight to the 6:30 flight. Mom called similar people and FINALLY, everyone was hooked up and ready to go. We didn't have to pay again thankfully. They just transferred everything over to the 6:30 trip. Mason and I got seats together. I felt bad for mom because she sat in the row across from us, however, she made friends. Talked to them the entire 2 hours.

Mason and I were tired. I almost didn't want to hang out with Alex or Mary last night because I was exhausted... BEYOND exhausted. Yet I wanted Mason to see them and I wanted to be with HIM. I hate having him not with me... I'm almost traumatized... I can't have him far from me or I fear waking up one morning and finding out he's gone to his other Marine things...

He's going all over the USA for his stuff...

Anyway, we did go see them. We even got to spend the night there. My parents are super chill on every situation since Mason's leave is finally here. I thought they'd be jerks and act as if it were not a big thing and hold me on a leash.

It's nice having freedom with Mason. We get to love one another again, be together again; act like nothing changed.

He has changed a bit. For the better, though! Yet he has a problem with cursing too much...? Like... every other word is either the F word or the S word. I know I curse but DAMN... it is really, really bothering me... It's so negative! I mean, I get that he has been yelled at for the passed 3 months and called rude names and whatever but... holy Hannibal...

I'm going to stop cursing starting today. Honestly. It's so... not... necessary. Too many people around me are doing it... Gah...

But, I don't know, he is a Marine... Been through a lot... He IS around his friends... I don't want to tell him what his flaws are because then he'll try and change them. I mean, in a sense, that would be GREAT! Then I wouldn't get bothered! However, what about the others and himself?? He truly doesn't need to be told what to do and/or not to do any longer... Especially by a girlfriend.

I even feel like I shouldn't complain or be emotional anymore :/ Is that strange?

It is a tad unnerving dating a military person now...

... Besides the point! Yesterday was cool. Today was long and satisfying also. Mason and Alex went for a run this morning. I got SOME sleep. Not... a lot. I think I'm screwed on sleep... Seriously. But as I was saying - after their run, I went home to grab new clothes. I didn't go back to Alex's because we were going to South Center and I HATE driving there. Just... freaks me out... Not sure which Exit to take... Too many!

Alex came, picked me up and we left for Hal's house first. They both were dressed in their graduation attire since they went to the Marine core building (where they were being trained before going to San D.) for job questions or something...? Forgot. Yet the people they needed to talk to weren't available. So, it was a quick visit. Then, we went to Best Buy for Mason. Mason bought an iHome since he wanted to blare music with his dad while they played games.

Soon, we went to the mall. We hung out, walked around, scheduled to see Wreck-It Ralph, ate food prior to Mason and Alex going off to buy me my birthday present as Mary and I left to roam the mall. Well, turned out, we bought stuff for OUR men too! I got Mason two things for Xmas and Mary... I don't know. Lost track for her.

We saw Wreck-It Ralph at 2. Everybody loved it! Yay! Of course, I adored it once more.

The movie was done, we left for my house so we could pick up my car and head down to Alki for Spuds. We had Spuds for dinner (Again, everybody loved it!) before going to my house again, getting Alex's car (I ran inside my house to grab my laptop and clothing), and left for his house. Now I'm in Mary's room while everyone else plays Halo 4 in Alex's.

I don't feel so good... Emotionally, physically, mentally... But... I shouldn't complain.

 

Day 89 of Boot Camp

Graduation was today!!

I am at Alex's house right now with everyone; slumber party, haha. Can't make this post long. I'll most likely post more tomorrow.

CONGRATS TO MASON!

Day 88 of Boot Camp

After 87 days of blogging, of missing, of restless sleeping, of moodiness, and of waiting... I finally got to see Him today.

4:17 AM

The pouring ran woke me up. It is SO LOUD and monstrous, I'm thinking twice about this trip being fabulous. Is it hurricane season? Could we have a hurricane? We're right on Mission Bay. A tsunami? I think alarms would be going off by now, right? I hope Mason's okay. I hope this rain ends when we're scheduled to get up and go. It starts at 9 o'clock and ends at 6. However, we'll leave around, probably, 3ish. Sea World closes at 6.

I hardly got any sleep. Passed out maybe around 11:30. But I've been tossing and turning and tossing and turning... Had a dream about Mason...

I miss him so much :( I can't sleep when he isn't home safe - goes for anyone else who is really important to me.

Ugh, I feel sick. Though I know I still won't get fairly good sleep, thanks to the rain and my brain going off the hook with thoughts, I need to keep trying.

I should have brought some Zzz-Quil.

*****

The only time I was truly sleepy, was when we had to get up - at 7:30. We had a quick 20 minute breakfast, hopped in a taxi, and bolted to the museum. It was still raining buckets of water... There were puddles EVERYWHERE. My feet got soaked before I could even notice I was stepping in a puddle. Glad I don't have Trench Foot! Gross.

The cab driver was cool. As our vehicle was being inspected, I saw he was wearing Ed Hardy shoes. I was wearing my red pair and I pointed that out. We laughed. It was awesome.

Once inside the parking lot of the museum, we found where we needed to go. We went inside this theatre area and found our PLT number (Weirdly enough, I had a dream a long time ago about that place... Specifically the theatre!). Before sitting down, we went back outside, bought two coins (2nd BN) and two pins, and THEN went to relax. They were showing the first half of WALL-E prior to the presentation. The SGT that was teaching us the Do's and Don't's of today's Family Day trip was HILARIOUS! He was great! I have pictures of the experience on my camera. I will upload them once at home.

During the presentation, we learned some cool commands like when he yells, "Eyes!" you yell back, "CLICK, SIR!" or "Ears!" you say, "OPEN, SIR!" or "Zero!" you go, "Freeze!". Of course we were shouting "Yes, sir!" every time he asked, "Do you understand?" and whatnot. It was sweet. I enjoyed it. Especially since the SGT was real funny but professional at the same time.

They showed a quick slide of what it was like for the recruits each phase (1, 2, and 3). Then they introduced the SGTs who took care of the recruits. Until finally, we were released and we were rushing outside to find the 2115 PLT. It was still pouring but it didn't even phase me to put on a hood. I wanted to see Mason and Hal. I needed to see them.

First was PLT 2109. They marched through. Same goes with all of the others. When PLT 2115 came, I recorded it. I knew we weren't supposed to, but I didn't care. I was a proud girlfriend and wanted to share it with the world. I AM a proud girlfriend!

After their march, they circled in the middle. All of them looked SO good!!! So professional, so... PERFECT. They are Marines after all. They did a stance, waited... The back PLT (2109) screamed something then PLT 2110 screamed the same thing and it went AAAAALL the way up to PLT 2115 and they were finally... dismissed.

I was frantically searching for either Hal or Mason as the crowd SWARMED into the middle where their recruits were wandering about, trying to find them. I found Hal first!! Gave him the most thoughtful hug I've ever given him his entire life. Then, I went off to find Mason. My voice was completely weenie amongst the other shouts so I kept scanning and moving a bit forward, kept scanning and moving a bit forward.

When all of a sudden, out of the blue, there he was... Standing in the rain waiting for us. At first I didn't recognize him!! But my heart beat quickened, I yelled out his name, and ran STRAIGHT for him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, hid my face into his shoulder, and cried SO hard and SO much. He was SO tall! I had to be on my tippy toes to give him a secure embrace!!! I couldn't believe today was... TODAY! I still can't believe it!!

After snuggling him and crying happy tears, we parted and looked at each other as if it were June/30th, 2011 all over again. Honestly, I forgot how much love I have for him. I fell in love with him more right when we gave each other those two quick kisses on the lips. We kissed in the rain. <3

A couple minutes later, Moira found us. She was in tears and hugged Mason and he kept chuckling. The whole time he was pretty tense. I mean, he did mention that they were supposed to be professional so I don't blame him. You can tell he has changed - in a confidence type way and how he is... such a SOLDIER, you know? It shows. It's amazing. He's so strong now... Not like he hasn't been before! God, he's ALWAYS has been a tough cookie. However, now that he has been through all of this... he's strongER. He knows his place. And that is so effing cool.

We walked to the diner and had some grub. I didn't eat much... Just bread and a few bites of salad. Mason had two plate fulls of stuff! Goodness gracious! He did say he was starving. I guess so!

I was with him the entire time. I didn't care about SHOPPING, EATING... I just wanted to be beside him.

I wasn't myself today. I mean, yea, I WAS. Yet I wasn't completely here. I think I got extensively relaxed, that I forgot what was going on... What I was supposed to be doing or SAYING. Maybe my brain thought it was all just one big dream again? So vivid that I don't need to wake up.

We only got a couple stories out of the way. We were all in shock of us being together again.

We never went to Sea World. He never got to do his run because of the crappy weather which gave us more time to spend with Mason. We'd bump into Hal every once in a while, give him hugs before departing... So it was a good time even IF we weren't saying anything to each other.

At one point, before we even went to the diner, we sat inside Grandma Ren's rental car, as the rain washed over us, and during our chit-chatting, Mason pulls out this rock from his pocket. A beautiful white quart. He goes, "I got this at the top of The Reaper." and hands it to me. We collect rocks ALL the time; whether at the beach or just taking a walk - when we see a rock or a pebble we like, we pick it up and take it home. Of course, if we ARE at a beach, we see shells and take those with us also. But rocks have always been a specialty in my life. I don't know what it is. I think they're neat. :)

I still have The Reaper rock. I'll cherish that rock forever. Mason and I both.

God... you know... I love him so much, it's unbelievable! I feel guilty thinking about ending the relationship... I mean, in a way, it does make sense. We weren't with each other, we were lonely, we wanted someone with us... Yet mom told me that it would have gone exactly the same way IF Mason were in college! It's just called the military. And you know me and the military... Blah.

Anyway... I'm just... utterly glad that I finally got to see him and that we are able to go home, rest, and be together. It'll be the happiest month of my life so far!

He's still HIM... But still tense. He'll hopefully relax after a few days or a week. However long, I don't care. I want him home; that's all that matters. I want him with me, I want us doing stuff together and I want us to cherish each others love like we haven't ever before.

My friends were right - we have bonded even CLOSER. Though it was quick, I knew it happened. It's in my heart and it won't let go. Ever.

 

Day 87 of Boot Camp

Hello from Saaaaaan Dieeeegoooo!!!! CALIFORNIA LOVE! <3

How's it goin', bros? I am STOKED to see my man! Oh, and, HAPPY 12/12/12!

I think today would have been a good day for the world to end, ya know? Kind of creative - clever. But no... They had to switch the 1 and the 2...

My mom and I are safely in our hotel; The Dana. VERY comfy hotel. OH my gosh... I love it. It is soooo suburban... Amazing. Sea World is 10 minutes away and the camp is 4 miles away. We took a shuttle from the airport to our designated hotel and we are hoping we can get a shuttle to the camp. However, we aren't sure since it isn't one of their stops. We can always hail a taxi, no big deal.

Right now the staff of the hotel are having a sick ass Christmas party. Thankfully, we can't hear their music. I was hoping to get some well needed sleep.

Just right outside our window we can see the Sea World Christmas tree that is HUGE! I can't take a picture of it though... Too many palm trees are in the way. We're pretty isolated out here. Which is PERFECT!!! Screw you, Cali traffic. We're here to relax and enjoy.

In other news, I kept track of my time waiting until I got here. I was bored and decided to write down what was happening during certain points in the journey to San Diego. Here is what I wrote:

12:35 PM

GOD! Time is so slow right now :/ I want to be on the plane! Heading to San D.! Getting to feel that Cali warmth! Grrr... but time wants to sluggishly go by...

I had to take Zzz-Quil last night so I could knock the Hell out. Well, it worked! I passed out around 9:30... and woke up at 5... AM!

Really, Zzz-Quil? You couldn't contain yourself AFTER 8 hours? You just HAD to give up?

... I should have taken a bigger gulp...

Nonetheless, I fell back asleep probably around 7. Then I had to get up at 9:45... I was WAY too groggy. So I stayed in bed another 10 minutes. Finally, I got up and picked out what I am going to wear. I'm totally going to look like a badass. (Except for graduation. I'm wearing my baby blue t-shirt that I got from MarineFamilyNetwork and some slacks) Why look like a badass?? Dude, I'm going to be surrounded by BADASS Marines! Come on, now! No time to be cute!

Anyway, I'm just sitting here, listening to my mom chat on a business call while waiting for 1:00 to roll around. Right now it is 12:47. I got a ways to go... Grandma is taking us to the airport. She'll most likely be 10 minutes early. Always is.

12:52 PM

Told you.

4:25 PM

I'm on the plane! Virgin air. Love the "disco jet" <3 We've been flying for about an hour and 15 minutes. We don't have much longer until landing. I think we're supposed to land at 5:30. I got a window seat, by the way! Took some awesome cloud pictures and a snap of Mt. Rainer. I'm glad it isn't stormy like this morning. I would have dreaded getting on a plane...

I'm not the biggest fan of flights. I hate heights... and turbulence. The worst parts for me are taking off and landing. Yeesh! Geronimo!

Right now we are descending. Talk about pressure. Gah! I hate that too... Stupid panic attacks.

We'll actually be landing in San Fran. God, I love it there and its people. So beautiful in every way. I've been thinking of moving there - either in the country side of WA or to San Francisco.

Well, time to put this away! I had fun watching Comedy Central and a LIVE Compton car chase. The dude was wanted for robbery, murder, and stealing the vehicle. Crazy stuff. Never seen it live before. The dude was caught thankfully. Same with his partner.

Peace!

*******

We had to get on to another flight in a couple of minutes after the land to head to San D. Funny enough, it was the same plane. But we got off to catch some chow (sushi). We then got back on the plane, went to our next pair of seats which were RIGHT BEHIND our ORIGINAL seats, and the plane took off.

Once we landed, I took a piss, we called for the shuttle, got on the bus and HERE WE ARE! Mom is reading a book while I text a friend from New York (Hi Mike :D) and finish this post. I cannot wait for tomorrow or Friday. I don't think I get to actually TALK with Mason or Hal, just see them on this "Moto Run" as they call it. Poop. YET... if we have enough time later on in the day, we're totally hitting up Sea World. Sadly we won't be able to see Shamu. But at least I get to be in the same park as him!

Goodnight, y'all.

To San Fran

Seattle clouds

Mt. Rainer peak

Rainer

Clouds!

More clouds!

Golden Gate bridge

Alcatraz!

Close up on Alcatraz

San Fran marsh

Marsh land close up

More weird marsh

Close up

San D airport Xmas tree!

Hotel room!

Hotel room - other side

Day 86 of Boot Camp

Depression mode, activated... Boop.

Well, well, well... Guess who is depressed and not ready to see Mason??? This guy...

I can't believe it. I was perfectly fine the other day. Now I'm completely overwhelmed with thoughts about our relationship not going to work out and me being lonely for the rest of my miserable life. Shoot, I'm going to lonely for the next 5 years... So leaving Mason wouldn't make a difference.

IMVU was fine today. It wasn't that. It was the letter that came in just an hour ago. It was written by Mason 2 WEEKS back! I guess I don't have to answer the phone anymore. He won't be calling. He never got the privilege to...

Go suck one, Hope...

He also told me that he has made his arrangements for a plane. So... we have to cancel his flight. Do we get our money back?? ...

He leaves at 4:30 PM and arrives at Seattle around 7:30ish PM. I won't even be able to be with him on the mother suckin' PLANE!

The good news is that he got 30 days off besides the 10.

The stupid news is that he's going to be working at an office after Christmas...

Wow.

And I thought our lives were going to go back to the way they used to be... I guess not. We might as well be FRIENDS!

Once again, go suck one, Hope.

I just can't BELIEVE this crud right now, man!! Being a military girlfriend SUCKS!!!! You have to literally grow BALLS and have a heart made out of STEEL to do this job...

Maybe I SHOULD go back to the me who was dark and enjoyed hardcore rock because it explained my life. Maybe I'll be HAPPIER that way; so I won't be flawed by Hope anymore... I'll just be neutral - not give a rats ass what happens. It sounds EASIER that way. I'd like it to be easier on me. But what about Mason? And other people? I know you're asking those questions.

Well the answer is, "I'm not strong enough."

Never will be. I'll always be that sensitive little girl who cries over everything - who gets laughed at because she has feelings - who gets frowned at because I care about things...

The only plus of the day was having a really handsome guy come over, named Gage, to check out our heater system in the house.

That's it.

Man... Maybe I should get on some drugs... Maybe not birth control; that sounds weak compared to the crap I'm dealing with. So many feelings... so many thoughts on what to do and what could make my life better... Yet I'm scared to do 'em because I fear they might not work and I'll become worse...

... It's official. "Love Stinks. Yea, yea... Love Stinks."

Day 85 of Boot Camp

Parents man, I tell ya...

I'm tired of answering the phone and it isn't Mason... But I still hope it WILL be! Get to hear his voice... Maybe the SGTs punished them so bad, that they weren't able to make that call. Or... They don't do that anymore...? I don't know. At least I get to see him in a couple of days!

But, besides that point, my MOM goes ahead and shatters my hopes when the phone rings, we pick it up after the 3rd ring, and the person on the other line hung up. She goes, "You should have picked it up. It could have been Mason." I'm like, "PLEASE! He wouldn't have hung up!" But she kept goin', sayin' it was Mason. Then DAD got into it and said it was probably Mason and didn't want to wait for the machine to pick it up. I was like, "You people got to be kidding me right now, right?..."

Honestly... Like Will Smith said... Parent's just don't understand.

UNLESS, someone else tells them. THEN their eyes widen and they go, "Oh!!!"

Seriously, it happens with every parent.

Sadly, I might be like that one day.

OR, I've learned my lesson enough from MY old folks that I WON'T be so annoying in the future.

Sheesh...

Anyway... With that off of my chest, I have some GREAT news! I checked my grades online and I got an A- in MATH and a B- in ITALIAN! Oh my God!!!! How incredible is THAT?! I don't know what I got on my finals however, all I cared about was passing the courses... AND I DID!!! Aaaaah! I can't wait to share this with Mason. He is going to be TOTALLY STOKED for me!!! We're going to be so proud of each other!! Yay!!!

Other than that, we decorated the inside of our house a little more, we cooked chicken in our fireplace again (so GOOD), and I hung out on my laptop all day.

My dreams are getting more weirder and weirder to the point I don't even remember them... Yet I keep waking up from them... It SUCKS! I just want REST! But my brain is too wired for sleep. It just wants to keep THINKING!

Brain, I know you're a genius and all, but come on, man. Take it easy, slim.

Day 84 of Boot Camp

This morning sucked ass... I really don't know why my brain thinks it's okay for me to still be on IMVU after all the crap I've been through.

I guess that's how lonely I am, folks. Just taking one day at a time... on my laptop... with jerks.

Anyway! The afternoon was better because the SEAHAWKS destroyed the Cardinals! 58 to NADA, my friends. Talk about annihilation; finally the Seahawks are winning their name. Mason calls them Seachickens. I could see that. But after TODAYS GAME, I might have to convince him to changing it back to Seahawks.

After the game, we went to grab a Christmas tree. We bought a 2-4 foot flocked tree. It's different that we aren't getting a gargantuan tree this year. I love gargantuanly giantly hugely tremendously awesome trees.

I guess I'll be thankful that it's a REAL one instead of a plastic one.

To tell you the truth, he's a pretty cute tree. I'll name him Henry. He looks like a Henry. <3

Once posting our newest member of the family in the front room, we all took down the lights and ornaments boxes from the attic. I decided that, since our tree is fairly tiny, we should place Disney characters ONLY on this Christmas tree. We had enough to fill 'im up.

I actually got extremely excited at one point while digging through the box stuffed with ornaments. I forgot that my grandma had bought me a JACK SPARROW-

... 'Scuse me... CAPTAIN... Jack Sparrow ornament!!!

My WORD! I love you grandma J!! You know how special Johnny Depp is to me!!!

Well, to say the least, I think my whole family does... :/

BUT I DON'T CAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He shall always have my heart.

I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow. I might hang out with Melissa. We could decorate the house together with my old farts :D That would be fun. Keep me away from my stupid laptop...

Just kidding, Johnny! I love you!!

What I MEANT to say was... I need to stay away from IMVU. However, that CHAT SITE is like a drug. You want more; you want to see more, you want to know more... I don't understand!!

Yet I shouldn't complain. I am the one making the ignorant decision to stay on there. I'll learn my lesson soon enough. Watch... :(

Day 83 of Boot Camp

Guess who's home alone?

I AM!

:(

I don't like being stranded in my haunted house by myself. I have to play music or something before I get an anxiety attack. This house, I swear, loves to play tricks on me while I'm home alone.

Anyway! Nothing happened today. Was just being a lazy bum playing on my laptop.

My mom helped setting up my grandpa's newest laptop this afternoon because, supposedly, he was getting up from sitting in his chair, placed his hand on his older laptops screen and BROKE it!! Sheesh... He needs to quit drinking.

So, they bought a new laptop. It was cheaper to buy a new laptop than buying a new screen or at least fixing it.

In other news, I'm EXCITED to hit up San Diego!! We're also going to Sea World. Dude! Like... total one-in-a-million chance!!! I wonder if it'll be packed...? It is winter. Maybe not. Or maybe so? Cali is ALWAYS warm. Sadly Mason won't be with us. We're doing it the evening on Thursday. I'll have a lot of extra time after Family Time that day. So mom decided to suggest Sea World and I said, "Why the Hell not? Go see some animals. Boost up my happiness."

Man... I am really extremely excited. I get tummy aches from the anxiousness of GOING there and seeing my boyfriend - my lovely honey bunches of oats - after almost 3 months. To tell you the honest truth, it didn't feel like 3 months. I'm glad. I didn't want that grief to weigh down on me. Now I'm as chipper as a peach! ... If peaches can get chipper haha.

Last night though, I did have another dream about Daniel. I think I also had a dream about Daniel CRAIG again!! I don't think he was Bond... Maybe. I can't truly remember it but I kissed him... AGAIN! We were shooting a movie and I was some magical woman who casted a spell on him. After the shoot, I walked up to him and said something about how I was glad they added in that last kiss because I wanted to kiss him multiple times. He gave this face as if, "Oh God..." It made me laugh. He was slightly smiling though so... he wasn't TOO freaked out :P

The dream about my TEACHER friend Daniel was, of course, a bit dramatic. He was tearing up once I pulled him aside - asking him about the whole child-molesting situation. I forgot his answers, disappointingly. I don't think my brain will produce answers since it doesn't know them. Possibly false answers but rarely any. It's interesting how that works in dreams.

But yea! Not much; just hanging out... Dreaming and surfing on the web.

How are your days going, readers? Plentiful? Excited for Christmas? Me too. :)

Woodcarvers, India

National Geographic photographer Maynard Owen Williams captured this image of woodcarvers in Amritsar while on assignment for a July 1921 story covering India.
A pioneer of travel photography, Williams joined the staff of National Geographic in 1919. 

Day 82 of Boot Camp

AYOOOO!!!

I'm on Winter break. Today makes it OFFICIAL. Booya.

I took my Italian test this morning. Shoot, I put that exam in the BANK!!! It was WAY too simple; even for ME! I was the second one done...

Like... I waited for about 10 minutes before getting up and handing in the test. I didn't finish early because I guessed the entire thing - I was early because I actually knew the crap. I was stunned. I shocked myself.

Well! I'm happy as I could ever be! Maybe if I do excellent on my final, I'll head to quarter 2 with Italian confidence. I have a C so far. But I MIGHT have pushed it to a C+ or maybe a solid B since I feel like I did well on this final.

I don't know! But we'll see.

Today was good. Laid back. Not stressed. I'll most likely have better sleep tonight which is AWESOME. My brain has missed that...

Now all I need to do is wait for my honey to come home.

Oh waiting... Why are you so hard on my poor old heart?

Musician, Spain

A man plays his guitar for a young girl in Granada, Spain, in this autochrome picture that appeared as part of a photo essay in the March 1929 issue of National Geographic.
An early master of autochrome photography, Jules Gervais Courtellemont was one of the first to embrace the technology when it became commercially available in 1907.

Day 81 of Boot Camp

You know, the number "90" is startin' to look like a very divine number. I'm beginning to wonder if 90 is the next 21, don't you think? ;)

Nah, just bustin' your balls. I'm talking about DAYS! Not YEARS!

Today was laid back. Nothing to do... I was going to drive all the way to my college and grab a test that I hardly passed but then again, I was lazy and simply checked out the grade online.

Because, I mean, it's the 21st century. Everything's online, bro.

Nevertheless, I had a good day. Crappy sleep (again) but I don't remember having any dreams about Daniel or... anyone else. Just was cold.

I got news from grandma Deb Deb that Mason is OFFICIALLY a Marine!! He passed his Crucible test with flying colors. I'm so proud of him!! GREAT JOB, HONEY!!! I can't wait to see you in 7 days!! I'll be a mess and maybe you too! Hopefully you won't get in trouble!! Haha.

Dad was talkin' about how he wanted to go with us. Yet he can't since we don't have a pet-sitter. He says (in a joking matter), "Wow, must be nice taking a VACATION!" And I go, "It's more of a rescue."

Because it's true! Mason wrote in, I think, his last letter saying I was "rescuing" him from that Hell hole called boot camp. I about pooped myself from laughing so much.

I'll be really glad to see Hal too. Mason states he wasn't doing so good. But you know what? If he passed, he did GOOD enough! And I'm so proud of him also; whether he passed or not.

Does ANYONE in boot camp fail? Or is it like High School where they just say, "The Hell with it, we'll push them forward. Maybe they'll learn their lessons next time."? I hope it isn't like Evergreen which CLEARLY did that EVERY year with EVERYBODY. Especially my dumb ass. That's another reason why I switched to Kennedy - to get a better education and actually LEARN somethin'.

So yea, stayed home, felt better. Still love-sick but hey, I'm breathin'.

Oh, and, if any of you people were curious, here is my goofball friend Alex. He sent me this picture last night, telling me that this was his face when he noticed 2 weeks worth of shows didn't record for him. Haha, what a goober!

Day 80 of Boot Camp

He won't get out of my head...

And when he does, he comes right back in again...

Life stopped this morning once I realized I had a dream about Daniel. This dream was so realistic, that I've felt his presence everywhere I have gone today. In a sense, I liked it very much - it calmed my nerves and my nervousness towards my math final this morning. I constantly daydreamed about him; constantly thought about the dream I had...

I don't remember all of it. It was a very long dream. Very vivid also. And I enjoyed every last hour of it though it felt like seconds...

It went something like this;

HELLO, AGAIN:

I was at my middle school, Cascade, and there was this buzz going around. I guess we were headed for a field trip out into the wilderness or somewhere far away. I wasn't a middle schooler but I wanted to join. I felt like this place was calling me. I felt like I needed to be there with the kids. And after a few moments of being with them, I saw Him. I was over-joyed as I always am when I see him in my dreams. I think I started tearing up. I sometimes do that too. He sometimes does it as well but... not as often as me.

I believe we hugged prior to pulling him aside where nobody could see us. The hug was very loving; very securing. I didn't want to let go. I think I told him to come with me to my car. I wonder if I wanted to take him away from there so he couldn't get hurt or found. Yet I was eager to get him to my car but also eager to touch him and talk with him.

I was so happy to see him.

I'm still happy. However, I am very sad too.

I don't want these meetings to be dreams anymore. I want them to be reality.

I want to find him walking down the street and I get to call out his name and he notices it's me and we hug like old friends. Or, I find his phone number and I call him in a sort of surprise and we both get teary eyed since it has been a while. And when we are together, I'd smoothly coax him into spilling the beans on what truly happened. Why did he do it? What was his focus? How could he have felt that way? Who could have persuaded him? When did he "turn"? Where is he now?

Who, what, when, why, where and how.

The main questions abroad all things.

Of course, the first question I want an answer to is the "Where is he now"?

I'm tired of lying around, thinking that these dreams aren't telling me something.

I'm determined to see Daniel again. And if ANYONE can help me, it would be much obliged and I would be utterly grateful.

His actions occurred at Lake Meridian park. That's in Kent and I believe it is where he lives. He could easily be somewhere else; I highly doubt his wife and kids are still with him. If I am able to contact even his WIFE, I would be completely thankful. It's like a piece to the puzzle. Sometimes there are more than you think. And sometimes that last piece is the hardest to find. Sometimes they are lost. Sometimes they are hidden. Sometimes they are right in front of your face. But like a determined puzzle-finisher, they always finish the puzzle. No matter what. And once they do, they feel accomplished. And once feeling accomplished, a lot more doors tend to open.

My door to finding Daniel is still wide open. I don't want to forcibly close it and I don't want to ignore it. I must do something. And that something is find those last couple of pieces to solve my deceiving puzzle...