Day 79 of Boot Camp

STUPID FEELINGS, I HATE YOU!!!!

I wish I never had feelings... I think I'd be better off as a stupid freakin' robot...

I want to go away :( Far away where no one will be able to find me. I want to be alone and live in my own little world FOREVER. I don't care...

Today was DUMB. I felt even MORE like a stupid friggin' IDIOT after watching the last two groups do their OUTSTANDING performances. God... Why can't I be talented like that??? All I can do is write stupid stories... WOW! TAKE THAT TO A TALENT SHOW!!! EVERYONE WILL BE SO IMPRESSED! ...

Not.

When I got home, I studied. I have my dumb math final tomorrow. Yay-freakin'-ME. On Friday is my Italian final... Jeez, I don't know about THAT one...

But in the car, before class started, I noticed I had lost ALL of my information on this wonderful app called Ambiance. You could download beautiful sounds that people record (heartbeats, oceans, etc.). You could mix them up too; like in a playlist - having them play all at once. Like you could mix the sound of a fire to the sound of the wilderness and have it titled: "Campfire."

I had so many tranquil sounds... Gone. Most likely will never see them again. I recorded my own sound as well. It was during a gorgeous sunny day at Lincoln Park. I was with Mason and as we walked around the beach, I would hear the most elegant clinking noise by the rocks. We looked and saw the incoming waves roll back out into sea; taking along a few pebbles. Those stumbling pebbles rolling on the other rocks made that clinking noise. It was beautiful! I recorded it.

That was also the same day where Mason picked up a teenie-tiny spider and showed it to me. I got upset because I told him I hate spiders yet he goes ahead and shows me one anyway! Heh... Yea... But I think that sound is gone too. Yet I'll never forget it.

This happening just brought back some other sorrowful thoughts and feelings... Totally made me explode in tears and I'm still really, really upset about it... Those sounds made me escape... Made me get into the mood while typing a story...

Man...

I guess you lose some and you gain some...

But what can I gain nowadays?? This year sucks...

Great Sphinx, Egypt

In 1928 National Geographic Editor Gilbert H. Grosvenor wanted "outdated" photographs of the Great Sphinx of Giza—images made prior to excavation—removed from the archive. This 1921 photo by Donald McLeish survived and has been in the image collection for over 90 years.