Anyway, other than that, today sucked... I know I bombed my ITAL test since I didn't study, ENGL was frustrating because supposedly a piece of homework was due however my teacher has the strangest way of teaching where she doesn't seem to explain our homework. I guess she thinks we'll magically know it by heart through one explanation in the beginning of class. Soooooo, that made me feel like a rotten student! Math was fine. Just boring.
I wanted to head home early today. I wasn't doing so hot this entire morning. Mason is... leaving tomorrow... for 10 months. I'm miserable, guys. I'm taking tomorrow off. I don't think I'd be able to make it throughout the day without bursting out in tears.
I'll be taking Mason to the airport. I didn't get to do that when he was leaving for boot camp. This is going to be horrible. Absolutely saddening. I won't be able to hold it back. I'll be crying in front of so many people and I wouldn't even care!!! I'm going to miss him. I really am. I truly, seriously am going to miss him. I always do. Whether he's in another room or in another state, I miss him like nobodies business. <3 :(
Mason isn't doing so hot either. We talked last night up until 2-3 AM. We just got it out there in the open; how we felt and what was swirling in our agitated brains. He even got so upset, as we lied down, he took off his dog tags and tossed them to the floor. "I'm tired of looking at Marine stuff. I need a break." He said.
You remember when it was Family Day and once you finally found Mason in the crowd of newly Marines and their families and when you held on to him, bawling your little eyes out, he didn't really seem too overwhelmed??? Well, Mason let me know that he was. He said, last night, as I held on to him crying, he held back his tears and it was very, very hard for him. He claimed he didn't want us to become a mess! I understand. We would have been doomed. We would have been a mess for sure. But at the time and before Mason told me last night, I didn't think he was as thrilled to see us as I was to see him. I thought he wanted to look "good". I thought he was sucking it up so he wouldn't get teased or yelled at. Yet I do remember, while I cried and hugged him, he whispered, "Hi honey." I heard his voice crack. In the back of my mind, I knew he was holding SOMETHING back. But I didn't know what.
It was nice to be informed of those things and many more. I thought Mason had turned into a robot of no emotion. Like my mom's friend said, "They tear down the civilian side of you, and build you back up as a soldier." My sweetie is a soldier, but he's also still my Mason. <3
P.S: Here is what Mason bought me for my birthday! <3
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