Day 18 of Boot Camp

You know... I haven't deleted me and Mason's texts ever since however long ago. I have kept them this whole time. I haven't read them. I don't know if I want to... I'm guessing they are pretty sad since most of them are around the time Mason is close to leaving.

Maybe when I'm bored one night, I'll read them.

Since we're on the subject of Mason, I had dreamt about him last night. Two dreams, to be exact. They were GOOD dreams, nothing mean, yet I thought they were kind of torturous. Why would nice dreams be torturous you ask? Because they were DREAMS instead of reality.

The first one was about graduation. We were all sitting in front of a giant empty space outside. Mason's platoon came out and sat in front of us. I saw Mason and waved to him. I don't remember much but I do know that we didn't make contact in both dreams... We just saw each other and were around one another. At the end of the first dream, however it ended is unknown, the second dream entered my brain. I'm guessing it was in the future where Mason was home from boot camp and we were at his house. He was downstairs cleaning and I got to the steps when suddenly... the dream broke off with me waking up at my usual hour; 4 AM.

I got so heartsick, my stomach was growling from the tension. I lied in bed, unable to fall asleep again, and thought to myself, "He's not coming home any time soon, Payton..." I was grief-stricken! I didn't want to go back to sleep... But I managed to pass out on my own.

I was so angry and depressed that my brain conjured up that vision. I thought it was real and when I woke up, I had to make myself realize the graduation and seeing my honey isn't until after 2 more months...

Time is going quickly, but it's also going slowly...

I wrote Mason another letter this morning about the dreams and about how my brain isn't giving me a break. I even notified him of the dreams about Daniel. I won't write him many "negative" letters, yet I will let him know what's going on.

I didn't send my other letter this morning. I forgot to copy the newest letter so I just turned around and went to school instead of the post office. Tomorrow morning though, I will make sure to send them.

Still no more letters from him.

My day today was alright, again. Marissa was in class and we talked like nothing changed. Marissa and Jodi wondered where I was. I told them and they understood.

I SERIOUSLY hope my sleep catches up...

Yesterday I took a four hour nap. That was nice. I needed that SO bad...

I don't know if I should take a nap today. It might screw up my sleeping schedule and then... WHAT DO YOU KNOW... I'm a vampire and I sleep during the day and stay up during the night.

Ah well. It will at least convince my 9 year old cousin that I'm a vampire. >:P

I'm going to the doctor soon, by the way. I need assistance with my psoriasis problem... Both my mom and dad have it. My mom hardly has it but my dad has it on his elbows and on the back of his neck, etc. It's gotten worse over the years... I want an end to it before it goes all over my body. I don't know when I'll schedule but hopefully in the next couple of days. Next week for certain.

Blast my gingerness and all of its medical issues!!