Day 44 of Boot Camp

Hey everyone.

I did get better sleep last night, if you were wondering.  However, I am pretty freakin' depressed today. My cat, Cheetah, is healing well so he isn't the problem. I talked to Chris and grandma Deb Deb last night which was great! So they're not the problem either. What IS the problem is Mason's leave. Chris told me that he doesn't know if Mason will be able to stay with us passed Christmas. He states that he might have to go to his main base by then...

I'm continuously asking mom if I can go down to OR for Christmas but she keeps saying, "We'll see." as if I haven't ever spent time with my own family each and every Christmas before hand... I'm ALWAYS with my family! There isn't ONE CHRISTMAS where I wasn't with them... I just want THIS Christmas to be with Mason because I might not get the amount of time with him as I wanted... I really, truly hope that the Marine core will give us more days instead of only 10. I mean, he gets to come home on graduation! 10 days after that is Christmas Eve... You can't take him away on Christmas Eve... That's almost evil.

Last night, I woke up at 6 AM and didn't go back to sleep until 7. I couldn't fall asleep for some reason. I was thinking too much; daydreaming and producing sorrowful thoughts about not wanting to live a life where I hardly get to see the one I love because he's dealing with war. At least he's dealing with it in a safer situation than most Marines... Nevertheless, I'm still not happy about it... I'm PROUD of him and I SUPPORT him, but I don't completely think it's a thing to be glad over. I guess that's just who I am... A "hippy" who hates war. I don't see a point of it. Seriously, if we want war, it should be with other worlds out in the galaxy. Seems to make more sense than killing our own kind, right?

Anyway... I'm super disappointed over Mason might having to depart during Christmas and my mom acting like I don't hang out with the family enough. Sometimes I wonder if my parents will ever understand what I go through. Probably never...

My school day was fine. Got some homework help from my Italian teacher. The commute to-and-from school was HORRENDOUS. This weather is scaring me... Pouring down rain, random puddles that make your car hydroplane, and other people's cars causing "pavement rain". While I was going over the floating bridge, I got stuck behind a semi. He didn't have his bed latched on, so it kicked up more water than a regular car would. I was blinded and got too nervous to pull over into another lane. The only thing that helped was guessing the distance by the silhouette of the semi-tractor.

I'm not getting any mail from Mason. Chris told me that, based on the matrix, he's out on the field training currently and said the mail is going to be really, reeeeeally slow. Now that I know, I won't be fussy over not getting mail, haha. I can picture him, however, lying in the tent or on guard and just thinking about everyone; how they are doing, what're they doing, is everybody safe, anymore letters coming in, etc. I wonder if he is sneaking letters some more. Maybe not during watch, but possibly when he's in the tent or whatever the heck they do in the field. I bet he's kicking ass, though. I knew he'd do great in boot camp. Me and Chris shared that with one another. We all knew he would do great. No doubt about it. One tough cookie.

All in all, I hope I feel better. I am highly tempted to get on medication. Maybe just birth control. Nothing too serious like an anti-depressant. I'm sure my mood swings will be soothed and my depression will be calmer. If not, I'll possibly drop the birth control and grab the anti-depressant. I'm not totally comfortable taking two medications at the same time...

Tomorrow is Halloween! And I have NOTHING planned! ... And it sucks! Most likely won't dress up if I'm just going to stay home and hand out candy. I don't even know if I want to do THAT. With all the break-ins that have been happening, I might position myself behind the door while mom opens it to give out the sweets. And if somebody is acting suspicious or they take charge and try to come in, I'll SLAM the door closed and call 911.

I should be dressed in my Batgirl outfit so, if I do that, I could feel like an ACTUAL hero! Yet I'd be better off not having to deal with a situation like that and just be some weirdo kid hiding behind the door with a Batgirl outfit as the kids come by and grab their candy...

Buzescu, Romania

A fantasia of styles, from villa to temple to castle, lines the main street of Buzescu, population 5,000. Men are often away on business; women, wealthy or not, stay to cook, clean, and raise the kids.