I don't know what to talk about to Mason. I'm in such a depressed state, everything coming out of my mouth is negative. Not only am I unintentionally taking it out on him, but also on my IMVU friends. If one of my friends has no common sense, I'll correct him/her. If Mason said something I don't like, I'll tell him. However, usually the stuff that comes out of HIS mouth is silly and playful. I'm not like that anymore. At least, nowadays, my happiness has dimmed and is only shown during rare occasions. I'm jealous of Mason... I know he isn't doing so well currently, but he can still act goofy when he wants to.
I haven't TRAINED my mind to pass up the negatives and enter into the positives. I have plenty positive thoughts which could lift my spirits. Yet with depression, the symptom holds back that desire and claims, "No. You're supposed to be sad." So, I get sad. And I stay sad until something happens that my brain accepts as "good."
I'm pretty sure you ready have heard this speech a million times in my past posts. Honestly, I don't know what else to say... I'm a little lost these days... Confused... Obviously, I didn't do diddly-squat today.
I wish I were hiking. Hiking helps me out. Anything away from my home-life stables me. My parents aren't being rambunctious, I ignore my cell phone... It is just me and Earth.
Call me a hippy, but the wilderness does cure an aching heart. How?? Possibly from the immense beauty surrounding you? Makes you appreciate the planet you live on.
Around the end of April, I'll be hiking again with my uncle and Jill. If they scheduled a hike sooner, count me in! I am READY. TO. GO!
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| Eurasian Otter, England |
A female Eurasian otter searches for prey in a river in western England. An otter's eyes become more convex underwater, the better to see fish.
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