My appetite sucks, my sleeping sucks... I don't get it.
I'm constantly having dreams. Mason isn't in all of them. I don't understand why I'm dreaming so much. I think I'm a light sleeper too nowadays. I'll wake up from anything; either my dad's car's roaring engine, or my cat licking and chewing on her skin. It's horrendous...
I haven't been wearing my relaxation band. I'll try it tonight. See if it actually works.
I DID, however, have a 16 oz Red Bull in an hour and 30 minutes today with only a croissant in my belly. I could be having my hyper crash at the moment. I was drastically fidgety at the end of math and during the entire class time of Italian. In math, I was doing extremely well with my multiplication, that as I got more problems done, my adrenaline from achievement leveled to high amounts where I wanted to RUSH out of the room and sprint around the campus!! It was worse in Italian. My legs were jiggly, my fingers were tapping, and I felt like I was about to throw-up. It was BAD. Once I was out of there, I doubted if I'd be as great of a driver as I seem to be while all hyped up.
In all honesty, I wanted to do at least 100+ MPH on the freeway just to get my heart pacing even MORE. Yet there were too many cars. Didn't want to endanger anybody. Despite my lack of cautiousness, I decided to turn up my radio and bump my dance music. My car was vibrating, I'm sure people were wondering where that ungodly music was coming from, but I didn't care!!
I was WIRED!
I did get home safely though. And when I started to talk? It got extensively humerus. My speech was almost gibberish! I was talking too fast, I would stammer, yet keep going!! I had so much to say in so little amounts of air.
Sooo... yea... I think I'm simply having a crash right now.
For my appetite? I don't know... I guess keep eating. I miss Mason scorning at me to eat... He hates when I don't eat.
Other than the hyper streak, my day was alright. Marissa wasn't in class but Jodi was. When I woke up this morning, because of the deprivation of sleep, I was somewhat in a dark mood. Nothing EVIL, just a bit sad. I'd sit at the table with my croissant in one hand and my small glass of Red Bull in the other and I wouldn't put either one to my mouth for at least a couple minutes. I'd just stare at the table, blank expression, retrospecting on me and Mason's life before he had to leave; before he was even getting calls from his SGTs.
It's like when I smell his shirts he let me borrow. I haven't washed them and neither has he so it has his scent. I'd close my eyes and inhale; receiving flash backs of us during our young, new relationship and also just a few months ago. It's hard not to cry when I do that. However, sometimes I need too. I can't bottle up EVERY tear.
I miss him holding me. I miss him texting me every minute of every day. I miss HIM. I'm sure everybody does.
I hope I get a letter soon. I have tremendous amounts of things to say to him. Mostly I love you's and I miss you's. I don't know if they get to call. Maybe the call to say that they landed was the only one? I miss his voice :( I'm sure he misses mine too.
... I have nothing more to say about today. TGIF. And about the memories; well... all I have to share is that we've been happily together for a year and a few months. Yes, we had our ups and downs, but even when we'd think the relationship was a goner, we'd Power Over Our Problems (or POOP as me and Mason called it) and get through it!
Oh, and, here's something me and Tay Tay thought up while walking home from Lincoln Park yesterday:
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