Why?
Because the post I WAS going to publish was just a bunch of babbling. I could NOT stick to one freakin' subject. My brain... will not... slow down... I am like Chris. We have a tendency to go from one subject to the next and continue on and on and on and on before POOF! Oh! We're on another subject now! Let's talk about this without ending the last conversation in an orderly fashion.
I love you Chris, but holy crap, we cannot keep focused...
Besides the point, I had a GREAT day today! I had a trippy moment while going to my math class but I'll get to that in a SECOND! Not in a couple MINUTES like my last post was about to say, I'll get to it in a SECOND, in a sense...
When I woke up this morning, I thought it was about to be a bad day... I felt like a widow. A. Goddamn. Widow. It was the most hopeless feeling I have ever experienced so far. It was tragic, but I didn't shed a tear! For some reason, my brain said, "Why do you need to cry? There is no need to be sad anymore. You have accepted him being gone. Get on with your day." And I did.
Recently it has been very foggy out during the mornings prior to the sun shinning in the afternoon until night. While I was driving, noticing how dense the fog was and how the sun eagerly wanted to beam its light, I was remembering a saying Mason used to describe sunny days. He'd get that little boy smile on his face and go, "It's Payton outside." which meant it was a gorgeous warm blue sky sunny day. He'd say that all the time... I thought it was corny as Hell but I loved it! So, as I kept driving and remember him stating that, I concluded, "This is how I feel; I want to share my sunshine but a heavy fog is blocking that from happening. Right now, it's Payton outside."
I got to school A-OK and without pissing anyone off :). As I was heading for my math class, I saw a tall guy walking towards me. He wore a green shirt under a black jacket with black jeans and shoes. He wore a plain tan fedora and all I could think was, "My God... And I thought I didn't have any fashion." While I was glancing at him, I noticed he was glancing at me back but would suddenly stare at the ground, making the hat shield his face. He did this multiple times and I immediately got suspicious and questioned, "Is that someone I know?" As we got closer, his clothing, body shape, and hair style reminded me of someone I won't DARE to be around... And once he passed, still having his hat shielding his face, I got a glimpse of the side of his face. The facial structure was the same and... I believe he might have been smirking...?
That did it... My heart's pace was beating faster than Speed Racer's Mach 5.
Why was he here?
Wasn't he going to another college?
Is he STALKING me because he found out where I go and he knows Mason isn't here to save me?!
The culprit who I thought I saw?...
An ex-boyfriend of mine...
Not just ANY ex-boyfriend, but a MALICIOUS one.
I am afraid of him and I WILL kick his ass if he tries anything on me...
Like Mason told me, "If he tries something on you while I'm in boot camp, let him know that I'll only be gone for 3 months and when I'm home, HE'LL be gone in 3 months... IF you know what I mean."
-sigh- ... What a hunk. <3 :D
But, as I was saying, I was freaking the Hell out. I was FLIPPIN'. I texted Alex and informed him about it. He wanted to know where he was when I saw him and I told him. Yet I didn't know where he went afterwards because I just wanted to get the heck out of there. I advised mom also and even my aunt and Chris. Mom notified that on his Facebook it said he was going to the college that I thought he was going to. But... even though one thing states something, doesn't mean it's the truth.
I believed I was hallucinating... I don't do drugs and I don't drink either so I was guessing the stress and the fears of what might occur while Mason is gone was brought up all of a sudden as I was walking to class! My mom told me that maybe my mind was playing a game; I see so many faces in just two hours that I might have seen a look alike and my brain initially reacted, thinking it was my ex!
I don't know... It was bad... I felt so nervous, I was fidgety. I was like this until Math began. Then, as we did work and I started talking to my math partner, everything was alright.
I think I'm making a friend! Or, maybe two as a matter of fact! One in math and the other in Italian! I don't know the guy's name in my Italian class but the girl in my math class is named Marissa. We were yak yak yakking the whole time! Hardly got any of our math done. :P
Nonetheless, I was walking to Italian, and bumped into a friend! I keep bumping into people I know! It's awesome! This time, I bumped into a friend from my second high school that I went to. Her name is Hanna and she is one spunky chick. We hugged and, as we blocked the staircase, we shared what classes we were doing and if we saw anyone else. It was comforting to see a familiar face that I DON'T despise. After a few minutes, we hugged again and said goodbye, hoping we'd see each other again.
Finally! I'm not so alone anymore!!
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