However, nothing lucky happened today...
Just another calm Saturday for me. Did some homework, played on the computer and watched movies. I took a walk earlier, thinking that would help my mood, and it kind of didn't.
Another restless night last night. I woke up to our sensor pointed at our backyard telling us somebody was back there. Yet none of the dogs were barking and dad couldn't see anyone. So, me being superstitious, I began psyching myself out believing someone from the "other world" is spying on our house, wanting to come in.
At first, I was like, "ZOMBIE!" then I said to myself, "That's stupid... Why would it be a zombie?" I agreed, settled down a bit, until another thought popped into my head; "GHOST!"
I'm silly, I already know that.
Because of me being silly, I stayed awake from 1:10 AM to about 2:30 AM. I watched American Pickers (amazing show) before my brain decided I was ready to pass out.
Ohhh, was my brain wrong...
I tossed and turned, feeling hopeless of a good nights sleep, yet kept trying.
Last night I was in a highly depressed mood. I felt like nobody wanted to talk to me. I felt sick. I felt alone. I didn't want to be with my parents because... their my PARENTS. So I went upstairs and SAT there. I was going to draw but my drawing skills have faded over the months... I blame the depression.
Suppose my depression is the reason for my bad sleep? I don't know... Probably will NEVER know. So I cried and cried and texted an old IMVU friend who I thought didn't like me anymore. I was a wreck... But my friend helped me out a bit. I just wanted to converse with someone! Anyone! I almost went back on IMVU yet I said to myself, "You do that, you'll feel a HELL of a lot worse."
If you've ever played The Sims, you'll know what I'm talking about when I bring up the Social bar. If your Sim doesn't chat with many people, the bar goes from green, to red. You don't want red! Or else your Sim will turn loopy... That's how I felt last night. I felt like my social meter was to the red. Lately, it's been in the yellow. I think it'll stay in the yellow until Mason comes home.
Jesus I miss him...
Today, I think I figured out how to keep myself occupied; by writing stories again. I was going to start up playing video games again however... that never came through. But with my knowledgeable skill for writing, I know for a fact I can at least work up some sort of story. I just have to keep to it!
Anyway... I really have nothing more to say... Only stuff about Mason; how much I miss him and how I hope he's okay. Is he making any friends? Is he being stubborn and not talking to anybody because he thinks all of them are assholes? I hope he's somewhat talking to people. I don't want his meter going to red or even yellow. I want his mentality sharp while he's in there. I don't want him to start crying and all of a sudden I have to go down there and kick some recruiter's ass because he was making fun of him!
Oh, wouldn't that be the day, huh?? Beating up a future Marine? Sounds like fun to me; if only she/he deserves it.
But yea... I better get to it with my story writing or I'll sit here and act like I'm in a coma.
I hope everyones doing great. I hope they're getting along good. And I hope their social meter is decent.
Arrivederci.
No comments:
Post a Comment